White Walls
by kj4ever
Summary: Naruto, an emotionally disturbed rape victim, is sent to a mental hospital. While there he collides with Sasuke, a bipolar patient with intamcy issues. The two try their best to stay away from each other, but they can't help but to feel close.
1. Beware The Evil Eye

_**White Walls**_

_Chapter 1:_

Beware The Evil Eye

Wow... what am I doing here? Am I really here, or is this a very vivid dream. Am I experiencing psychosis already? Hah, it was only a matter of time I guess.

I looked up once in the silent room. Mom's just sitting there staring at the floor thinking about me and how I'm lying about everything... fucking bitch.

Dad, hmph, sitting next to me. I can hear him breathing. He's nervous. Why? He doesn't have to stay here. How long am I staying here?

Just then the door opened and a small woman walked in with a whole bunch of papers in her arms. She smiled. I couldn't really tell if it was real or not, but at the same time I really didn't care.

"Alright, Naruto, Iruka, one of our counselors, will be here in a minute to talk to you a little bit." I nodded. God, why am I here?

She sat down at the small table next to my mother. "Ok, Mrs. Uzumaki, this is just a little bit of information about our facility and rules and regulations. Stuff like that. These are just some papers that we need you to fill out before you leave here."

I don't need to be here. I'm not one of THOSE people. Those crazy people. The ones who talk to themselves, see things, all that shit. Crazy people can't control their thoughts. I can. I can filter my thoughts. Make everything look better. I'm not crazy, I've just been tired lately. A little sad now and then. Not crazy.

Knock. Knock.

All four of us looked up at the door as it opened. A man who looked like he cries every time he's alone peered in. "Hello." He said calmly and sweetly. Hm, he's trained well. He looked right at me. "Would you like to come with me for a second. I just want to ask you some questions." He nodded reassuringly. Why was he asking? Did I really have a choice?

I pushed myself off of the hard, cheap love seat and ignored the parental stares. I followed him through the short hall way and to a big door way. He typed in a little code into the pad on the door. There was a very quiet buzz and he pushed it open.

My stomach clenched and I could feel my heart thumping. Pictures of my own beating heart entered my head. I closed my eyes and tried to shake the thought. It wouldn't go away. I stared at the back of the man and tried to ignore the sudden urge to just cut into my chest and take out the beating devil that penetrates my mind.

No. Just stop it. You're putting it in your own head. Just ignore it. Only crazy people can't ignore things in their head.

Thump thump, thump thump... I'm gonna puke. I can't be here. Too many people in here. They're all looking at me. They're gonna laugh at me. They're gonna push me down and laugh at me. No they wont. Just smile.

I smiled and looked away from Iruka's back. Oh... there are no people. What the hell was I freaking out about? I stopped smiling immediately as imagined how stupid I looked.

We came to another secret code door. I think those should be a fire hazard.

As the door opened, my breathing shook. I could hear the voices of people. We were getting closer. We turned a corner we entered a large room that looked like a large living room. I'm scared.

Iruka turned around and smiled at me. "We'll talk in your room, ok?" I nodded. I looked at the plate on the wall next to the door. 0023 – Precaution.

23? Two plus three... no eights. Good. Precaution? What does that mean?

He let me walk in first and turned the light on. The room was a decent size. A bed right in the middle of the room. Not good. I need to be in a corner when I sleep. "Go ahead and have a seat." He gestured to the bed.

I sat down and stared at the ground. My eyes were heavy. I don't want to be here.

I could here the voices of the others out in the 'living room'. They were questioning the nurses of the presence of a new kid. Me.

"Ok, Naruto. Can you tell me why you're here?"

I hate that. I so hate that. Every therapist I have ever seen asks that. It's the very first thing out of there mouths.

"They think I'm suicidal." Ok, that came out to fast. Thought filter is now on. I am protected.

Iruka nodded. "Alright. Can you tell me who 'they' is?"

"I don't know." That is the product of my thought filter malfunctioning. It's not noticeable, but I am have a fricken panic attack and it's either I spill my guts or say 'I don't know' to all this guy's questions.

"Well, I had a talk with your therapist before you arrived." Oh yay, what did that bitch say now? Is she still running with the whole schizophrenic thing? I only nodded and tried to keep my eyes from twitching.

"She told me you have a problem with cutting."

"No." I don't have a problem. Idiot.

"Can I see?" He asked, his eyes dug into me. He seemed like a trustworthy kind of guy. Do I really need a filter for him? He's not gonna tell anyone. If he does, I can deny it.

I rolled up the long sleeves of my shirt to reveal the deep open wounds surrounded by old thick pink scars from long ago. I could see him cringe slightly. He thinks it's disgusting and it makes him wonder how someone could do this to themselves, I'm sure.

I rolled them back down quickly when he nodded. "So, you don't think you're suicidal?" I shook my head 'no'. "Can you understand why people would assume so?" I nodded again. When is this little interview going to end? "She also explained to me that you were planning to kill yourself very soon."

God, why did I tell her that? It was just an idea, I wasn't really planning on doing it. "Why would you want to do that?" I sighed. I was way too tired to let the filter run. I'm already in a fricken mental hospital, how much worse can it get? "I don't feel like being alive anymore." I shrugged.

"Is there something that makes you not want to be alive any more? School, friends, your parents? Anything?" I tried really hard to think. Why? Why did I want to die? Pft, I've wanted to die since preschool, how am I supposed to know the exact reason? "Everything... I guess."

"Ok..." He nodded and looked past me. I'm not an easy patient, apparently. He doesn't know how to handle me. "Now, do you ever hear or see things that other people don't?"

Oh, here we go. "No." He pursed his lips in thought. He thinks I'm lying. I'm not, mister brain analyzer man! I know you think I'm crazy, but I am not!

"Your therapist said that before she advised you to come here, you had mentioned hearing voices of people from your school. Can you tell me about that?"

I took my eyes off him and my breathing hitched again. Why is she telling him this stuff? Who else knows? Are they telling my parents? I breath in deeply and slowly, trying to calm myself. I can't let him see me break. "No." I say suddenly. I'm not crazy.

I hear him sigh. "I know it can be a little difficult telling someone you don't know things that you want to keep secret. I want you to know that whatever you tell me will not be repeated outside this room."

Ha, that's what she said, yet here you stand with all me mind goop on your hands. You should leave mister man, I think I might kill you.

"What about when you were six? You were sent to therapy. Why was that?"

Ok, I can handle this. He wants to talk about the first me. That Naruto isn't this Naruto, so this Naruto can freely speak of little Naruto because little Naruto is dead and wont care. Yes, ok.

"I was mean to the kids."

"Why were you mean to the kids?"

"They were mean to me. I thought that's how it worked."

"How what worked?"

"Making friends. They were mean right from the beginning. I thought that's how kids acted. So I started being mean too, but they still didn't want to be my friend."

"How did that make you feel?"

"I got mad... and confused, and sad. I hated them so much. I hurt them."

"How did you hurt them?"

"I pushed them down, hit them, and bit them."

"And that's why you were put into therapy?"

"No. I... I was trying to... put myself to sleep."

"Kill yourself?"

"No. When I was younger, I didn't know what kill, dead, or die meant. I just thought you went to sleep and never woke up. That's all I wanted."

"What were you doing to try to put yourself to sleep."

"I would swallow things and try to choke on them."

"Like food?"

"Yeah, food. Sometimes, I would try to swallow the play dough at school and the fake nails that my mom had in the bathroom. Pretty much anything I thought could get lodged in my throat."

"Why did you want to do this?"

"I didn't want to be around those kids anymore. Always laughing... and being mean."

"Was that the only reason?"

I looked away again. "I guess."

"Um... There was also something that concerned me. It said that when you were eight you were put back into therapy because of a suspected molestation."

I swear my heart stopped. It didn't happen. "Who said that?" I asked in a strained voice.

"It came with your file. It says that you only attended one session, then your mother decided to take you out. Why was that?"

"She... She didn't believe it." I saw him nod.

"So, was there sexual abuse in your childhood?" Why would someone ask such stupid questions? Why did it matter? It happened so long ago. No... No it didn't happen.

"I... I don't know." Damn filter.

"Would it be something you would feel comfortable talking about later in your stay?"

"I don't know."

We both turned when there was a loud knock on the door. The woman from before stepped in with that smile still on her face. She and Iruka exchanged some sort of coded nod that must have meant 'your job is done, you can leave now.' which he did.

She looked at me. "Ok, so this is your room. Which, I'm sure you figured out. She stepped over to the door, that I had just now noticed, and opened it. "This is your bathroom. You can take a shower whenever you want. Towels are out in the living room, just ask one of the nurses to open the lockers and you can grab a couple."

I nodded through her ramblings, trying to keep my eyes open. I'm so tired. "Did you eat? Everyone has already eaten dinner, but if you are hungry I can have some of the tacos sent up."

"No thanks. I'm not very hungry." She nodded. "C-can I go to sleep now? I'm really tired."

"You sure can sweetie, but we need to get your blood pressure real quick, then you can go to bed." I stood up and tried to smile as I followed her out the door.

People. There weren't a lot. Maybe five or six other patients in this part of the hospital. They were all looking at me. "Have a seat right here." She gestured to a red fold out chair. She then started to roll up my sleeves. I could hear some of the other patients snicker. Were they laughing at me?

"Ooh, he's got cuts."

One of them said. I dropped my head as she slipped the band around my arm and pressed the button on the machine. This is hell. I heard a beep and the tight pinching of the inflated band quickly went away. "Oh my..." She said. "A little high..."

I rolled my sleeve back down quickly and looked up at her. "Ok, you an go to sleep now." I nodded and quickly ran back to my room, closed the door and turned off the lights. I stood in the dark for a few seconds trying to bring my brain back to reality where everything was rainbows and sunshine... wait a second... Where's mom and dad? Did they leave? Hmph, thanks for saying goodbye.

I went back to the door and peeked through the small window in the door. I could see into the 'living room'. I counted the people... six. There were six other people in here. Four boys, one with dark brown hair in a ponytail, another who was wearing sunglasses, one with very pale skin who was pestering another boy with short light brown hair. Two girls. One with blonde hair and the other had pink hair. They sat separate from everyone else. I don't want to deal with them tomorrow.

I walk over to the bed and stare at the seemingly comfortable mattress. I wonder if I could move the bed to the corner... No, I don't want to risk getting in trouble the first night. I huffed and yanked the blanket and pillow off the mattress and walked over to the corner that blocked my view of the door. I laid down and felt safe with my stomach flat against the wall. I was asleep in seconds.

"Naruto?" I hear an unfamiliar voice and wince when the lights in my room are turned on without warning. I pull my blanket over my face and groan into the wall. "Why are you on the floor?"

"I don't know." I groan.

"We're going to need to get some blood samples from you real quick, so we need you to lay on the bed. I push myself off the floor and stalk over to the bed in the middle of the room. I flopped down on my back and held my arm over my eyes to protect them from the intruding light. I heard a few more people enter my room and rustle around.

I felt a strong hand hold my arm and wrap the band around it to make my blood stay. "Ok, here comes the pinch." The mystery man said and poked the large needle in to the bend of my arm. I felt the needle jerk around as he changed the vile.

When they were finished they all left the room and I waited for complete silence before I stood from my bed. I walked over to the window and squinted to see through the blinds that were closed between the thick plates of glass. Still dark out. What time is it?

I walked over to the door and stood far enough away from the window to be sure no one could see me if they were to walk by. I stood there for a moment before I stalked closer to the window and peered out at the clock hung on the wall above the television in the 'living room'. 4:22a.m.? Seriously? They disturbed me at four in the morning to shove needles in my arm.

I walked back to the corner where my pillow and blanket still lay. I fall onto the floor, and instantly fall back to sleep.

Knock. Knock.

I jumped out of my slumber and sat up immediately wincing at the sunlight coming through the shielded window. "It's time to get up." Oh, how I dreaded the thought. Just imagining how I will have to eventually talk to the other people out their made my skin crawl and my throat close. God.

I stood up and stared around at the room again. I wasn't sure of what to do. If I go out there, where would I sit? Who would be the first to talk to me? Would they laugh at me? Would they wait for me to make the first move? Would I make someone uncomfortable? What the hell is going to happen?

"Come on, breakfast is coming soon." She smiled. I nodded and ran my fingers through the tangled mess of blonde. I made sure my sleeves were secure past my knuckles and proceeded to follow her out the door. I felt a sudden panic go through me when I saw the two girls sitting on one of the couches. They weren't looking at me or anything, but I didn't know if they were going to be mean later on.

I spotted a small table with a checker board painted on it with a bucket of board pieces in it. There were only two large chairs around it. I assumed no one would sit there, seeing as how last night the couches seemed to be the most comfortable. I walked over slowly, not wanting to draw attention to myself. I sat down quickly and steadied my breath, then once again made sure my sleeves were still hiding my shame.

I took the time to get a good look at the place I would be calling home for a while. I noticed the ceiling first. It was cut in sections to let in sunlight. There was a large flat screen television hung on the wall and surrounded by a glass case. Probably so no one flips out and tries to destroy the expensive piece of shit. There were three couches, one facing the TV directly and two others facing each other on either side of the first.

Then there was a separate away from everything else with a phone on a side table next to it. It was conveniently located two centimeters away from the round table where three different nurses sat. That way if anyone tried to plan an escape they could call in the doctors to authorize medication that will stun our bodies. Wouldn't that be a show.

Oh god, they looking at me. I tuned my head away and stared at the black and red checkered pattern. I peaked over through my bangs to see if they lost interest... nope. They're still looking and smiling. What are they talking about?

We all looked over when two boys came out of one of the rooms. The one with his hair up was holding his ears while the one with short brown hair followed behind. "Kiba, would you shut up! I don't want to hear anymore of your dumb stories." The other faltered for a moment before continuing. "They aren't stories, Shikamaru! It really happened. You were asleep and they came out of the walls and tried to hurt you. I saved you."

I swallowed hard as they got closer and closer to the checker table. The taller one, Shikamaru, sat down in the chair across from me. I lowered my head even more when I saw Kiba looking at me confused. This is his spot. I saw him shrug and he pulled a chair from the nurse's table over next to Shikamaru. "Then, after I saved you, they went back into the walls and said they'd be back tonight." Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Can't wait."

I felt like getting up and running away when they both became quiet. They were looking at me, I was sure. What were they thinking? "Hey, can I see your cuts?" My head shot up to Kiba. He wore s toothy grin, which was soon gone after Shikamaru smacked his arm. "Are you stupid? Don't say stuff like that."

Shikamaru looked at me. "Just ignore him. He's a little whacked in the mornings." His somewhat uninterested look morphed into a nice smile. "I'm Shikamaru and this mutt is Kiba."

"Yeah, I'm Kiba! What's your name?" He shouted and held out his hand. I didn't want to seem rude, so I smiled and shook it. "Naruto."

"Why do you cut yourself?" He asked laying his head on the table and looking up at me. "Kiba! C'mon, man. Shut up."

"No!" He looked back at me and I was hoping Shikamaru would jump in again, but he didn't. I had to answer this guy, he seemed nice enough to not dig deeper. "I don't know." Damn it.

"Hmph," He sat up and crossed his arms. "That's what Sasuke always says about everything. Do you know Sasuke?" I only shook my head.

"That's probably a good thing." Shikamaru smirked. "The guy is a dick. He's been here for two weeks. Barely talkes to anyone."

"Yeah! He's mean!"

I chuckled at the loudness of this Kiba guy. I felt a bit more comfortable and my stomach loosened. "So," The calmer brunette yawned. "Do you know how long your staying here?"

"No."

"Breakfast!" Kiba yelled when he saw one of the nurses carrying a tray full of orange and apple juice boxes, mini boxes of cereal, and rice treats. Kiba came back to the table, his arms full of the offerings. He dumped his load onto the table in front of us and smile. I got enough for all of us."

"Is everyone out of their rooms?" One of the nurses at the table asked whoever was listening. "No! Sai and Sasuke aren't out here!" She nodded and stood up, heading for the room next to mine. She nocked on the door then opened it. "Guys, breakfast is out here. Come and get some."

I picked up one of the juices while I watched two boys exit the room, one was freakishly pale, and the other, who I could just tell was Sasuke, wore a stone glare. Shikamaru, Kiba, and I all watched as they picked through what was left on the tray. Then, Sasuke shot his glare towards me. I looked away quickly feeling that uneasy feeling come back into my stomach.

"Oooh, beware the evil eye." Kiba giggled. I smiled too, trying to forget about dark peircing eyes. I went to take a drink, but before I could, it was snatched from my hand. I looked up to see Sasuke glaring down at me. "Who the fuck are you?"

I opened my mouth but words didn't come out. He scares me. "Hn, freak." He mumbled and headed back for his room. "Hey!" Kiba stood up. "That's Naruto's juice! Give it back, Sasuke!"

"Shut the hell up, idiot." With that he disappeared back into his room, drinking my juice mockingly.

"Heh," I heard a voice. "He must like you." I turned around to see the pale kid. He smiled. "I'm Sai, and you're Naruto, right." I nodded. He smiled once more and followed Sasuke back to their room.

This was not going to be easy.


	2. Sorry?

_**WARNING!**_

_**Yaoi (boys liking boys)**_

_**Crazies (Mental Issues)**_

_**Bad word usage ('F bombs' are used quite often)**_

_**Jeez.**_

_**If you don't like any of that mentioned, then, for realz, don't read any further.**_

White Walls

Chapter 2:

Sorry?

**My, my. I honestly didn't think I would get much feedback for this story. But, haha, I did! On DeviantART and FF! Thanks you guys!**

**Now you shall be rewarded!**

Sasuke's POV

What a beautiful sight. Maybe most wouldn't agree with me, but most haven't had to stare at the same white walls for two weeks. I sighed deeply and closed my eyes tightly. I can't stare at it too long. It hurts my eyes, making them twitch and shit.

Why do they make the walls white anyway? This is supposed to be a happy fun place to recover from whatever mental shit you've been going through. They should make the rooms red or purple, yellow even. Just some kind of color.

I rolled my eyes under my lids and rolled onto my side. I'll stare at the floor for a while. The tiles have specks of grey and some dirt that can help my eyes concentrate. I yawned. "What time is it?" I asked my roommate, who was sitting on his bed doodling whatever sick sexual fantasy that was burning in the back of his eye balls. "I don't know." Oh, he's so helpful.

I like Sai. He's tolerable. He's quiet. Unlike everyone out there. Sakura and Ino, annoying. Shikamaru, not loud, but still annoying. Kiba, fuck, more annoying than all of them put together. I'm not too sure about the new kid. I don't like the fact that he didn't do anything when I took his juice box. He just stared at me like a fucking idiot. I want to see what he's like when he's upset. I mean really upset.

I sat up for just a moment and looked around the room. I sighed again. "Are you ok, Sasuke?" Sai peaked over his sketch book. "You seem fidgety." I shook my head and rubbed my tired eyes roughly. "I'm just bored as fuck."

"Hmm." He put down his pencil and looked at me with that fake ass smile he always puts on. "Let's go out in the living room. They're watching Finding Nemo." I glared at him. He knows I don't like being out there with all of them. He chuckled silently and went back to his work. Since my brain was being eaten away by the boredom, I developed a need for some sort of distraction.

"What are you drawing?" I swallowed hard. I hate talking to people like I cared. He looked up at me again, his eyes wide in surprise. He can tell I'm desperate for a block in my boredom. "Just the new kid, Naruto." He smirked and turned the sketch pad around so I could see his work so far. "Sai!" I screeched with a blush when I saw how his sick mind had decided to see this Naruto guy. "What? I think it's good."

"He's tied up with a fucking dildo in his ass!" He only chuckled and continued on with his drawing. I laid back down trying to get that image out of my head. I should have known not to ask such a question. "Is he gonna be your new obsession?" I asked, plainly out of curiosity. I head him shift on his bed. "No, Kiba is still my one and only. Besides, you seemed to take a liking to him, huh?" I cocked an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"This morning. You talked to him. You weren't very nice, but you still talked to him... and you took his juice box, which I thought was a bit much, but hey, if you want to act like a little school girl with a crush, go ahead."

I felt like punching that idiot in the fucking face. I was not acting like a little school girl with a crush, and so what if I talked to him! I just kind of had to. He looked so, I don't know. I just wanted to make sure he knew that I'm not a good guy to talk to, or try to to be friends with. I just wanted him to know. I think taking his juice box did the trick!

"So is that where you went last night?" I decided it was time to change the subject. "Did you go to Kiba's room?" I already knew the answer. The first night Sai was here he had crept down the hall to the little weirdo's room and did god knows what to him for at least three hours, and had continued to do so whenever he saw fit. "Ha, yeah. That dumb ass still doesn't know it's me." I sat up and cocked an eyebrow at the smiling sex fiend in front of me. "How the hell did you manage that?"

He sat his stuff on the end of his bed and laughed slightly. "Ok, like, I go in there and I'm all like, 'Kiiiibaaaa' in this really freaky voice, and he'll start freaking out. Then I'm all like, 'It's ok, Kiba' like really nice and sweet. Haha, and then I'll just slowly make my way over to him, brush his cheek lightly and kiss him oh, so gently." For a moment I actually thought that he had a normal side with how sweet he made his voice sound. "Then I tell him if he doesn't do what I want, I'll kill Shikamaru." He laughed harder. He really is fucking insane.

"You're gonna be in so much trouble when you get caught." I smirked. He shook his head at me. "I'm not gonna get caught. They don't have the cameras running after nine, and Kiba thinks I'm some freaky thing that comes out of the walls at night."

I admire his methods and everything, but at the same time, it's kind of mean how he's tricking Kiba like that. "What kind of shit are you doing to the poor guy?" He perked up at my question and leaned over his bed, digging under his mattress. He pulled out a few sheets of paper that had been crinkled and tossed them to me. I grabbed them and stared at the images even more disturbing than the one of the new kid. "And Shikamaru doesn't notice this shit going on two feet away from him?"

He smirked again. "Heh, the guy is a heavy sleeper."

Group Therapy. The one thing in this god forsaken place that I actually enjoy. Mainly because it's held in the only room with actual color, blue to be exact... and getting to hear everyone spill their guts out is also quite amusing. It does get annoying when Kakashi tries to get me to talk. I don't want to talk. I've been saying for the past two weeks. I don't understand why he hasn't got the message yet.

Me and Sai were the last to enter. The only two seats left were two on the other side of Naruto I wanted to go for the one furthest away from him, but since Sai is a total dick, he took it before I could. I noticed Naruto shift away from me when I sat down, bowing his head more and pinching the skin on his hands. He was uncomfortable. I didn't like seeing people uncomfortable, but I didn't want him to feel comfortable either.

Just to see how far I could push him, I leaned closer so that our arms touched. Immediately, he shifted, pulling his arm away from me. I could hear him starting to breath heavy. I backed off. I didn't want him going into a fucking panic attack on my account.

"Well, I'm so glad to see all your happy faces!" None of us actually turned to look at the silver haired man as he burst though the door. After about the third session, you can get sick of him. He stood in the middle of the circle of chairs and looked at all of us. "I heard we had a new kid." he looked through our group a few times, like it was actually that hard to spot the blonde.

"Ah, there you are. What's your name?" He leaned in our direction and all eyes were on him. It seemed like he was well aware of that fact. He looked up really slowly, like he was afraid of what he was going to see. "Naruto." I blinked. He sounds so... not happy.

"Well, Naruto, I'm Kakashi! Are you ready to have a good time?" Naruto tried to smile, but it was worse than Sai's. "Ok! Now, since Naruto is new, we should all go around and tell him our names. Let's start over here." He pointed to Ino.

"Hi, Naruto! I'm Ino." He smiled at her.

"I'm Sakura." He smiled at her too.

"Ha, you know me! I'm Kiba!" Smiled.

"Yeah, and I'm Shikamaru." Smiled again.

He turned to me. I wasn't going to talk for him. He continued to stare, as did I. "Ugh, this is Sasuke." Sai jumped in. "He doesn't talk a lot. I'm Sai." He smiled at Sai and nodded. He didn't smile at me. Good. He blinked at me again before returning to his original downward gaze.

"Today, we're going to try a new exercise. It is important for all of us to be able to open up and talk about things." I really hate when he says 'we' and 'us' like he's actually a patient here. It's probably something they learn in... whatever school this guy went to to get here. "And I know that can be hard to do when everyone is watching you, which is why I brought this!" He then magically produced a black strip of fabric from his back pocket. Ooooh.

"This will be your protector. This is just something that will help us feel a little more comfortable and able to open up more." He smiled like this is some big achievement... which is probably true in his case. "Who wants to go first?"

"Oooh! Me! I'll try!" Sai's love slave shouted as he waved his arms around. Kakashi smiled and gestured him to come closer. He ran up and stopped in front of him. The silver haired weirdo reached around Kiba and tied the cloth around the boy's eyes. "Ok, Kiba, how do you feel?"

"I feel... like a blind person." I heard the blonde next to me chuckle at that. "Ok. Now, I'm gonna ask you a few questions, and I want you to answer honestly and openly."

"Alright!"

"What makes you happy?" Of course, he would start out with really stupid questions and trick us into answering more personal questions in our private sessions. "Um..." We all watched him as he seemed to be in deep thought. "My mom and my dad! Mmm, and my friends here. And... oh! And the things that live in the walls. I like the way they touch me." I noticed everyone in the room seemed to stiffen. Sai snickered and nudged me. He sent me a wink and continued to gaze lovingly.

Kakashi stared at Kiba for a moment, probably trying to decide if he should continue on with the question. "They touch you?" He winced at the question. Kiba nodded with a smile. "Yeah. There is one who touches me a lot. He makes me feel good, but sometimes he pulls my legs to hard and it makes me hurt in the morning."

"A-and when does this happen?"

"At night. They come out of the walls and we play." Sai grunted quietly. He was probably getting horny hearing how Kiba was talking. I guess I'll have the room to myself tonight.

"Ah, ok, who's next?" Kakashi asked with a nervous chuckle while ripping the blindfold off the boy. Kiba seemed disappointed at the fact that his turn ended so quickly. What a weirdo. I crossed my arms over my chest as I saw the over enthusiastic counselor scanned the group. "Sakura!" He yelped, making the girl jump. "How about you? Do you want to give it a go?"

She only shook her head 'no'. She doesn't like to join in on anything new. She only participates in activities that involve partners, because she can be with Ino. She feels more comfortable with Ino. "Alright, that's fine. How about you Ino?" The blonde, seemingly happy, girl smiled brightly and stood up. I didn't know why she needed to be drilled. Her problem was so obvious. She has an eating disorder. She thinks being more than two pounds is a fucking sin.

She's slightly ok in my book. She checked herself in here. She recognizes that she has a problem and is actually here to get help, where as the rest of them say they have no idea why their here and don't believe they have a problem. She still annoys me. The fact that she flaunts it. I suppose it's part of her disorder to want everyone to know that she is negative ten pounds by wearing extremely tight clothes that made it easy to count the vertebra in her spine.

"Ok," Kakashi smiled as he finished tying the blindfold. "How do you feel?" She shifted lightly and sighed. "I feel alright." The man nodded. "Can you tell me what makes you happy?"

She tilted her head in thought. At least she gives honest answers to his questions. "A lot of stuff, I guess. My friends, for sure. Um, I like doing pageants, but I haven't been able to do them recently. My boyfriend, Chouji, also makes me happy." I saw her smile. I wanted to smile too. It seemed like this boy she was dating really did make her happy. I wish I had that.

"What about your parents?"

"No." She answered quickly. "They don't make me happy. Sometimes they do, but not... not right now."

"Why is that?"

"They're kind of upset with me right now. They really wanted me to continue pageants, but I decided it wouldn't be good."

"Why didn't you want to continue?"

"Well, I... I knew I was sick, and I didn't think it would be good to be in that environment."

"I see. So you recognize that you have an eating disorder."

"Mhmm... bulimia."

"Do you remember the first time you purged?" I saw her bite her lip and I'm sure if she didn't have the blindfold on, I would be able to see tears building up. I don't know a whole lot about eating disorders, but I'm sure it's not something people would want to go into details about. Even Ino. "I was thirteen. So, two years ago. Um, I had gotten third place in the regional finals and the first place winner said it was because I was... fat." It surprised me how much one word could seem to send pain through someone. "She was right. I was a little chubby. When I got home, we had a big dinner to celebrate my win, if you could call it that. After I was done, I went upstairs to take a shower and I made my self throw up... everything. After that I couldn't stop."

She ripped the blindfold up and handed it to Kakashi. Her eyes were red. "I'm done." She muttered before she took her seat next to Sakura. "That was very good, Ino. I'm very proud of you." She nodded to him while rubbing her eyes. She did do good.

"Shikamaru. Why don't you come up here."

"No, thanks." He answered in that same lazy ass tone he always talks in. I think he's depressed or some shit."No? Come on, it'll be fun." Shikamaru sighed and got up, making his way up to the center with Kakashi. He rolled his eyes as Kakashi wrapped the blindfold. "What makes you happy, Shikamaru?"

"I don't know, what makes you happy, Kakashi?" Kakashi cleared his throat and smiled. "Well, I enjoy reading, and hanging out with my colleagues." Shikamaru chuckled lightly at the fact that Kakashi actually answered, hell, so did I.

"Fine." He sighed. "Sitting outside makes me happy. When me and my dad go hunting, that makes me happy."

"That's good. What makes you sad?"

"You and your always chipper attitude. Damn, this is total shit." He yanked off the blindfold and threw it on the ground for Kakashi to pick up. "Shikamaru, we don't use that language here."

"Whatever."

Shikamaru is ok too. Annoying, yes. But he is brutally honest and doesn't like the nurses. He didn't take anyone's shit, but definitely didn't mind giving it. I really don't know why he's here. He seems to be the most normal guy here, other than his laziness.

"Sai. Come on up!" Oh, this should be good. My oh-so-wonderful roommate can really amuse me sometimes. He can take anything, and turn it into something completely perverted. He nudged me again and took his place in front of everyone. He took the liberty of tying the cloth himself.

"What makes you happy?" There wasn't much enthusiasm anymore in our councilor. Wow, he got tired fast. He usually stops his lovely happy man act after the second exercise. "Well," Sai began, smirking in that cocky way he likes to. "Sex, of course. Anything that gets me hard has a gold star in my book. The way a certain someone moans when I fu-"

"Sai!" Kakashi scolded his inappropriate words, but of course he continued like there was no interruption. "-uck them as hard as I can." He giggled. I didn't have to look at everyone to know that they were all blushing like tomatoes. "Ok, ugh..." Kakashi sighed. "What makes you sad?" I'm sure he was hoping to turn the conversation around, but like I said, Sai is all sex all the time.

"When I don't get any ass for a long time."

"Ok, your done." Kakashi took the blindfold off and pushed Sai back in the direction of his seat. "What? I wasn't finished."

"Yeah, well, we can finish in our private sessions." Sai huffed over dramatically and leaned over to me. "Are you gonna talk today?" I just looked at him. Of course I wasn't going to participate. I mentally sighed when the freakish silver hair man looked at me. He didn't even bother wasting his smile on me. "Uchiha. You going to participate today?"

I shook my head. He didn't take his eyes off me. "Sasuke, you have to do something in group therapy or they aren't gonna let you go home." Good. I don't want to go home. I want to go back to my room, so I don't have to be with all these people. I shook my head. "Sasuke, please. I need to give them a report. You just have to put the blindfold on and-"

"I said no!" I yelled. He was really starting to piss me off. "Let the freak go." I nodded towards the silent blonde next to me. It probably wasn't ok that I called him a freak out of nowhere like that, but hey, when I'm mad, I can't hold my tongue. I continued with my challenging glare until the annoyance rolled his eyes and shook his head at me. "Sasuke, don't call Naruto a freak."

"I'll call him what I want to call him!" Damn it, just shut up! You're going to get put in the detention room again. I crossed my arms trying to restrain the hands that so desperately wanted to stand up and bust his face in. "Sasuke, just calm down." Sai put his hand on my shoulder. I relaxed slightly at the sensation. The glare melted away and it was replace with a guilty sulk. I don't like getting upset. I say things that hurt people. "I am calm."

"Naruto, do you want to try?" I glanced over at the blonde. I caught him looking at me for a moment before he tore his eyes away and nodded politely with a small smile. He stood up and walked over to Kakashi. I felt guilty. That look in his eye. I caused that. "Do you feel comfortable?" He only nodded. "Good. Now, tell me what makes you happy."

I couldn't help but hold interest in his body language as he thought over his answer. He was holding his hands together and digging his nails into his flesh. He kept opening and closing his mouth like he was analyzing every single word that he planned to say. "I don't know." He lowered his head quickly like he was waiting to be punished for giving an unfulfilled answer.

"Ok, that's fine. Um, what about what makes you sad."

He started breathing heavy again. I couldn't hear it, but I could see his chest rising and falling in an unsteady fashion. His lip quivered slightly. "I... um." He stopped and took a deep breath, but that didn't stop him from looking freakishly nervous. "I don't know." He let it out like a held breath. He shook his head slightly, biting his lip like he was disappointed with himself.

"Ok. Hm, since you new, I can understand that even with your protector on, it can still be uncomfortable to talk. So, how about you answer some, not so personal questions, just so you can get used to the idea." He nodded and muttered a light 'ok'.

"Hm, what's your favorite color?"

"I like orange." He seemed to calm down a little.

"What kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"All kinds."

"That's good. What are your friends like?"

"Um..." He swallowed hard and it looked like he was searching for the right words to answer. "I, uh, I don't really have friends back home."

"I see... Well, I think we did good for this new exercise!" He removed the band from Naruto's eyes. They were a little puffy, like Ino's had been earlier, just not as red. He kept his gaze on the ground as he made his way back to his seat. "Now, we'll move on to our next exercise. Everyone partner up."

Sai nearly elbowed me in the face when he mad his mad dash for Kiba. Ino and Sakura were already by each other, which left me, Shikamaru, and Naruto. "Oh, hmm, I guess we can have a group of three for today." Kakashi clapped his hands together. "It'll add to the fun."

"I want you all to move to the tables in the back and grab a few markers out of the bins."

We all stood up, slowly making our way over to the white fold out tables with the matching chairs. I stuck my hand in the marker bin, like everyone else and grabbed a handful of random markers. I sat down at the table first, then Naruto, then Shikamaru.

"What we're going to do is make personality reflection portraits." We all looked at him like he was nuts. "You and your partner will both draw each other with the colors that you think reflect their personality the most." We all nodded. He walked over to our table and looked at us. "Since you're a group of three, why don't we have Naruto draw Sasuke, Sasuke draw Shikamaru, and Shikamaru draw Naruto. Then go around the table."

We took a piece of paper from the pile that was already on the table and started analyzing each other. I looked over at Shikamaru, trying to figure out what color suited him... I think grey will do. I grabbed my gray marker and uncapped it. I ran it over the paper in different directions, making lovely scribbles.

"What's your favorite color?" I stopped and looked up, surprised to hear that voice directed at me. I stared at him for a moment. His eyes still looked so sad. "Why?" I asked. His eyes maneuvered down to the table for a moment. "W-well, um, sometimes people say that their favorite color is the color of their personality. I... just thought it would be cool if I included your favorite color in this." He talked so sweetly. He's really trying to be nice. Why would someone be so nice to the person that has called them a freak... and had stolen their juice box. He's supposed to hate me now. "Fucking idiot." I mumbled loud enough for him to hear, before I went back to scribbling Shikamaru.

"He was just asking a question, Sasuke." Shikamaru glared at me. "You don't have to be a dick to him." I looked over at Naruto he was coloring the paper like nothing ever happened. Why doesn't he get mad like Shikamaru just did? He should get pissed off, yell, hit me, something! I kept staring at him. He looked up once, and suddenly those sad blue eyes that made me feel guilt, now made me feel angry. I wanted to leap over this table and beat him until he was forced to fight back.

"That looks like shit." I said to him gesturing to the drawing he was making. He didn't look away this time. "Well," he spoke. "I guess I'm doing a good job at catching your essence then, huh?"

I heard Shikamaru laugh at the blonde's sudden come back. I raised my eyebrows. I really shouldn't, but I like the way he said that.

"Are you satisfied now?" Sai chuckled as he sat next to me at our table furthest from everyone else. I nibbled on a potato wedge and rolled my eyes. He heard what Naruto said to me in Group. "I mean, from what I heard, you were actually putting in a lot of effort into making him mad."

"Yeah, so what?"

"So, you're making it painfully obvious that you are completely in love with him. "

I about choked on my potato wedge when he said that. I was going to yell at him but I happened to glance over to the other table where everyone else was sitting. Naruto was smiling with that small smile he always seems to wear when he's uncomfortable. "He's been here for one day, and I've spent that one day making him hate me. How can you even have the slightest thought that I like him?"

"Because you're actually taking time to make him hate you. With everyone else, including yours truly, you haven't really cared whether or not they hate you. You just don't want them getting to close. Explain to me, Sasuke, why are you going out of your way to make this one guy hate you?"

"I-I don't know. I just am, ok?" I glared at him, only to be met with his assuming smile. "I don't like him." I said. "I'm serious. I just don't like the fact that he's so submissive."

"Oh, I see..." He gave a pervy smirk. "That isn't what I meant! I meant that he just takes what ever I shovel out to him. I want him to get mad at me, I want him to really hate me."

"What's with you and wanting everyone to hate you?"

"It would just be better if everyone did." He shook his head at me. I hated when people did that.

"Um, Sasuke?"

Sai and I both jump and looked over to the end of out table. My look immediately went to a glare. "What the fuck do you want?" I snapped at Naruto. He bit his lip and looked me in the eye. That was starting to annoy me. "I'm sorry."

Both Sai and I's mouths dropped. Did he really just say sorry. "For what?" Sai asked my question for me. There was a blush that grew onto his face and he looked like he was going to cry. "For what I said to you in group therapy."

"Why the fuck are you apologizing for that?" I was starting to get seriously pissed. He was doing that thing again! Opening and closing his mouth like he couldn't find the right words to say. "What the fuck do you want to say now, Naruto? Would you just say it! You're such a fucking freak!"

Sai was staring at me in disbelief. I myself couldn't believe that I could be so vicious towards someone who I barely even knew. But it wasn't my fault! He couldn't just hate me like everyone else. I had to be mean. He was so... nice to me. Apologizing and shit!

Guilt. Again he made me feel guilty about how I was treating him when I saw that lip of his quiver. He was hurt. I hurt him. This is exactly why I want him to hate me! It wouldn't have come to this, he wouldn't have to cry if he would just have hated me to begin with.

He walked away quickly, but he didn't go back to the table he had been sitting in. He left the cafeteria. He would definitely be in trouble for leaving without the group... good. Maybe now he will stop being nice to me.

I looked over to see Sai staring at me. There was no smile, or pervy smirk. He just looked upset. "Wow, Sasuke."

**Aww, I feel kind of bad about making Sasuke being so mean to emotionally unstable Naruto. There might be some sort of settlement between the two later.**

**Oh, and yes, Naruto is going to get in trouble for leaving without the group. **

**If you didn't notice, I went into a lot more detail for Ino's problem than most of the others when they were in group therapy. I did that because I based her off a girl I knew from the hospital I was in. (of course, this fic was inspired by my stay there) I really liked her because of the fact that she was willing to be open with everyone and really wanted help. :)**

**And can you believe that the things Kiba says are coming out of the walls is actually Sai? Ahh! I couldn't even believe it. I was like, 'should I really do that?', then I was like... Hell Yeah! Mwahahaha, at least Sai really does like Kiba.**

*****I have to mention this! As soon as I finished what you just read, I looked up into the room between my living room and the kitchen -i don't know what you'd call it- and I saw a fricken MOUSE! I was like frozen in fear and I think it was to, because it just kind of looked at me for a while. Then I got this idea to grab the cane that is behind my couch -don't ask why it's there- and go all donkey kong on the little bastard... **

**It didn't work out. I ended up catching my foot on my laptop cord and fell down, scaring the little fucker down the hall into the closet!**

**Now I'm just sitting here, continuously checking the hall while holding the cane.**

**Oh and my mom was all like, "was that you that shook the house?"**

**IDK, I thought it was a funny little event! XD**

**OK, new chapter soon!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Bad

_**White Walls**_

_Chapter Three:_

**Bad**

Naruto's POV

I sobbed into my knees as I clutched my legs to my chest. My chest was tight and my ears were ringing to the point where I thought my head was sending me a warning that I was going to explode soon.

'You're such a fucking freak!' That's what Sasuke had said.

Why does he hate me? Is he like them and can see how bad I am? It's just like preschool. No matter how mean, or how nice I am... they can just tell that I'm bad... that I'm no good.

I lifted my head and placed my mouth over my wrist and bit down slowly. I inhaled deeply as I heard very small pops and slight squeaks as my teeth dented the skin. I kept going until I felt like my teeth were going to rip out of my gums. My teeth stuck in my skin when I tried to pull away. I wiped away the spit that stayed behind and stared at the deep purple ring that remained.

It hurts.

'You deserve it, you pathetic little freak.'

"Shut up." I pulled at my hair, hoping that idiotic conscience of mine would leave me alone at a time like this. But, no, it wouldn't. It lived in me just to torture me when times like this came around. 'Do it again. Bite harder.'

"One time was enough." I muttered as I stroked the bruise. I regretted doing it right away. It wouldn't be gone for a few days. 'No it wasn't. You're bad... Bad little boys deserve more than what you give yourself.'

"I'm not a little boy anymore." I could hear it's laughter in the back of my head. It echoed slowly and it made me want to shove screw drivers into my ears. Why doesn't this thing ever leave me alone? 'Oh, right. Little Naruto is dead isn't he? How could I forget? You let him die didn't you. You let that man fu-'

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Sh-"

"Naruto?"

I inhaled sharply as I stared up at the silver haired man. My eyes were blurred with a thick layer of tears that had yet to fall along with the others. I felt my muscles tense and I started to shake. It hurt to breath and my jaw locked making it impossible to respond to the man. "Naruto, how did you get in here?" Kakashi reached in and pulled the old peace of yarn that hung from the ceiling and the light turned on. I closed my eyes for a few moments and hoped I would open them to see a new world around me, but no.

Mops. Brooms. Bleach. Buckets. Rags. That's what I saw. I must look crazy to this nice man. Sitting here in a ball on the floor of a random supply closet bawling my eyes out over stuff I really shouldn't cry about. I'm not crazy...

"Everyone has been looking for you. Why did you leave the cafeteria?" I just stared at him, my vision clearing as the end of my tears fell down my cheeks. My jaw was still locked and it hurt to even think of saying something. "Come on." He held his hand out to help me up. With a shaky hand I took it and stood up slowly. My muscles constricted even more and I thought I was going to fall back to the floor, but Kakashi held me up and guided me down the hall.

We entered a small room with a few motivational posters like the ones in my school on the walls. "Have a seat." He muttered. I sat down and kept my head down, but continued to watch him through my bangs. He let out a relaxed sigh as he sat in his chair. He reached for the phone and pulled it off the receiver after punching in a few numbers. He tapped his fingers playfully on the arm of his chair.

"Hey, Iruka... Yep... I don't know... That's what I was thinking... I'll probably talk to him later... No... Yeah, one hour... I'll-... Alright, bye."

He hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair. "So, what were you doing in the supply closet?" I didn't want to be rude, so I tried to pry my tense mouth open. An odd strained sound came out and I coughed. I sucked in a shaky breath and tried again. "I don't know."

Filter on.

"Who were you talking to?" He asked. I shuddered. "No one." I glared at him. The white walls around his frame seemed to pulsate with blues and purples. I wonder if it's my brain being stupid, or if I busted a few blood vessels in my eye. It didn't go away. I looked around at various object that littered his desk, hoping that the distraction would make the walls stop.

Nope.

I bit my tongue with deeply hidden rage. This always happened when I became like this. Shaky and tense. Nervous and sad. Angry. I stared straight into Kakashi's eyes. "You seemed to be very upset... What made you so upset?"

"I don't know."

"What did Sasuke say to you?" I blinked at him. I'm not a tattletale. "He didn't say anything to me." I said it steady and calmly. He would believe me. "Are you sure? Kiba said that you went to apologize to him for what you said in group therapy. Then you just left." I just nodded.

"I'm getting the feeling that you're not in the mood to dump your thoughts and feelings on me right now, am I right?" He smiled slightly. I nodded again. "Ok. Well, I'm gonna have to put you in the detention room for an hour, alright?" I stiffened. "I think the punishment is a bit much, but it's the rule. You're not supposed to leave the group without a counselor or nurse with you." I nodded one more time. I deserve it.

He stood up first and I soon followed. We walked down the bright hallway and he stopped in front of one of the many doors and pulled out his ring of keys. He opened the door and walked in. "You can sit anywhere." I looked around the room. There was a table with three mismatched chairs around it and two large bean bag chairs. "You'll only have to be in here for an hour, then I'll come get you. Do you want something to drink or do you need to use the restroom? Anything?"

"No." He nodded. "Ok, I have to lock the door, so if you need something, there is a call button right here." He pointed to a black button that sat above the light switch. I watched him close the door and waited for the clink sound that came from the lock, before I walked over and turned the lights off. The only light came from under the door. It was so quiet.

I felt my way over to the bean bag chair and laid down. I was so tired. It was only one o'clock, but it felt like midnight. I rolled over so that I laid flat with the wall against my stomach. I felt safe. I wanted this to be my room. I could survive a week in here.

Sasuke's POV

I sat alone in my prison, once again finding it interesting that my eyes will go into fits when I stare at the walls too long. My beautiful hell, seemed so lifeless at the moment. Everyone was mad at me because they knew I was the one who made Naruto disappear. I didn't really care, but it still hurt that Sai was even avoiding me. Usually he doesn't care that I act like a total dick. Maybe I did go a little too far. I made him cry. He just wanted to say sorry, and I yelled at him. Why do I do shit like that? Why am I always the one to hurt people?

I jumped when the door swung open and Sai walked in. I pretended to ignore the glare that he sent me as he sat on his bed and picked up his sketch book. I swallowed hard. It felt a little awkward. I didn't know if he was really mad, or if he was just annoyed with me. I looked over at him.

Sai kept his eyes on his sketch book when he decided to speak to me. "I know you don't really care, but I thought you should know they found Naruto. He was in a supply closet crying his eyes out according to what Iruka said. They put him in detention." I didn't want to hear any more about Naruto. I wanted to pretend that this entire day never happened. "So..." Please Sai, just leave it alone.

"You're a dick." I heard him say. I want to punch him in the face. He's making me feel even more guilty. I shouldn't feel guilty. I do this all the time! Why is this one guy making me regret it. I glanced up at him. "Shut up."

"No! Why did you do that?" He yelled. He's really pushing my buttons today. "Do what?" I know what he's talking about, but I knew if I let it go more I would not be able to keep my sanity. But no. He had to go with this. "You really are a heartless bastard! I used to think you were just a guy with an attitude, but after what you did to Naruto, you-" He needs to shut up. I'm not heartless.

"It's his fault! He wont just leave me alone!" I yelled. I'm getting mad. Please Sai, drop it.

"He's only talked to you twice! The first time all he did was ask you what you favorite fucking color was, and then he apologized for calling you shit. He's been nothing but nice to you!" Shut up, shut up, shut up.

"Exactly, you fucking idiot! I Don't Want Him To Be Nice!" I couldn't control my body. Before I knew I was standing over Sai with my fist clenched. For the love of everything good in the world don't lose it.

Shit.

"So Shut The Fuck Up About Him!" I punched him. I punched Sai. My heart sank, only to lift up again in pure excitement. My hands were shaking. Just one more time... Just one more hit.

Before I could even make a fist one of the nurses burst through the door.

"Boys! What on earth is going on?" I glared at her. You need to leave. I'm already mad. "What the fuck is your problem, lady!" I screamed in her face. "Just get the fuck out you fat cunt!" I was going to push her out, but one of the counselors, Kakashi, grabbed me and held my arms behind my back.

"Take care of Sai." He muttered to the nurse as he pushed me out of the room and down the hall. "Let me go, you fucker!" I thrashed as hard as I could, but he was too strong. "Shut up, Sasuke. You going in the detention room until the doctors decide what to do with you."

I stared at the floor as he continued to push me along. My body was still shaking with adrenalin. I just want to hurt someone, make them bleed. "Let Go!" I screamed digging my nails into the hand on my forearm. He hissed, but he didn't pull away. He had me in a death grip.

We got to the room and he pulled out his keys. He pushed open the door and turned the lights on. He dragged me in and let me go. "I'm not staying in here!" I screamed, knocking one of the chairs across the floor. "Yes you are." He grabbed my shoulders and forced me down into the other seat. "You need to calm down."

"Fuck you!" I rested my forehead in my hands and bit the inside of my cheek. I do need to calm down.

"And how are you doing, Naruto?" I tensed. I glanced up at Kakashi and followed his eyes to the blonde sitting up in one of the bean bag chairs. "Fine." He said quietly, glancing at me for only a second before lowering his head. "You still have twenty minutes left, I'll be back then." He nodded to Naruto and closed the door.

Naruto's POV-

I jumped out of a peaceful sleep when I heard that familiar scream and the lights flicked on. "I'm not staying in here!" I flinched when he kicked one of the chairs down and it slid across the floor. What happened? "Yes you are." Kakashi forced Sasuke to sit in the opposite chair. "You need to calm down."

"Fuck you!" He yelled. I gulped hard. He's hurting. I can feel it. "And how are you doing, Naruto." I shook slightly when he directed his glance at me, causing Sasuke to do the same. "Fine." I mumbled and glanced at Sasuke. He was looking at me too. I lowered my head quickly. I know he doesn't want to see me. "You still have twenty minutes left, I'll be back then." I only nodded and listened for the door to close.

My muscles tensed again as I looked up at Sasuke. His eyes were closed while his hands tangled in tightly. I really shouldn't talk to him, but I don't like people looking sad like that. I went to open my mouth, but stopped myself when I heard its voice again.

'You're only gonna make him mad. Then he'll make fun of you again. Is that what you want?'

'But if I'm nice, he might start to like me...'

'Don't you get it? You are not a good person! No one wants to be friends with you! You are bad! Bad, bad, bad! Everyone knows your bad, including Sasuke. That's why he yelled at you and called you a freak. That's why everyone hates you! Stop being an idiot and just leave him alone!'

"A-are you ok?" I asked Sasuke. I decided that my mind was being stupid. I gripped my thing hard when he looked at me with eyes that screamed murder. "Do I look ok?" He growled then glared back at the table. "Fucking idiot." I bit my lip, trying to keep another set of tears from forcing their way out of my eyes. Please don't cry again. Not in front of him.

I pulled my legs up to my chest and laid my head down. Just twenty minutes.

Sasuke's POV-

I want to scream. Just scream until my throat bleeds and I can't speak anymore. I yanked on my hair again and sighed quietly to myself. Why did I do that? Why did I yell at Naruto, why did I punch Sai? My lip started to quiver and I pushed my hands harshly against my eyes. Don't cry.

I looked over at Naruto. He was just sitting there. There is no sense in playing games with this one. He makes me feel bad. Why? No one else makes me feel like he does. What is this guy doing to me?

The familiar quivering in my stomach fired up and my hands started to shake. Not again. Once again, I found it impossible to hold my muscles from forcing me to get up and stride towards the blonde. I glared down at him. He didn't seem to notice me. I looked closer and saw that his breathing was even and slow. He's sleeping?

I reached out for him. I was going to pull his hair and punch him hard in the face like I had done to Sai, but when I felt his soft hair grace my fingertips the shaking stopped. The urge to cause him pain in the most dreadful ways vanished.

That only made me more upset.

I jumped up when I heard the lock on the door click and rushed back to the seat before Iruka walked in. He smiled at me. I don't like him very much. He always tries to be nice, but it's so obvious that he's like the rest of us. Crazy... in one way or another.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he walked over to Naruto and knelt down in front of him. "Naruto?" His soft voice whispered as he gently shook Naruto's shoulder. He lifted his head and I noticed his eyes were bloodshot and dried tears rested around them. "Your dad is here." He nodded and stood up following Iruka out. He didn't even look at me.

Naruto's POV-

"Hi." I said with a smile when I walked into my room. My dad was here. He looked at me and smiled too. I looked at the two large trash bags that sat on my bed. "What's that?"

"Your mother packed you some clothes." I nodded and bit my lip. She couldn't even put my stuff in a fricken suitcase?Bitch. "I-is she here?"

"No. She... had to work." I knew he was lying. It was Saturday. She never worked on Saturdays. Either she was drunk, or she just didn't feel like looking at my sickening face. "Um," He dug through one of the bags and pulled out a smaller plastic bag. "I stopped off at a drugstore and picked up some shampoo, conditioner, soap." He blabbed while rummaging through the bag. Then it hit me.

There was a lot of stuff here. More than enough for just one week. "Dad, how long am I staying here?"He didn't look at me he just continued going through the trash bags. "She put mostly sweat pants and t-shirts in here, but I guess comfort is important here."

"Dad."

"Uh, I got a couple of books that I thought you would like, and a new tooth brush."

"Dad."

"I got you some nice socks too."

"Dad, when am I going home?" We both seemed to freeze for a second before he actually decided to look at me. "I don't know, bud."

"How can you not know?" I became scared suddenly, thinking he and mom had planned this so they could get rid of me. He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Look, your mom just needs a break." Is he serious? What the hell does she need a break from. "So we decided that it would be a good idea for you to stay here longer."

"How much longer?"

"Just... just long enough-"

"Just long enough for you guys to pretend you never had a kid, right?" He didn't respond right away. My lips curled into a saddened frown. I felt my eyes swell with oncoming tears. I couldn't be right. My mom wasn't the best, but she wouldn't actually want to get rid of me. And dad is the only one I really trust. I know he wouldn't do that.

"Of course not, Naruto. Your mother and I just need a break. After that little stunt you pulled, I would assume you would understand." That little stunt? He's referring to my failed suicide as a little stunt? I shivered. Daddy, don't turn into them.

"I said I was sorry." My voice cracked and I lowered my head. I broke a little inside. I never lower my head when I'm with my dad. He's the only one who doesn't find me bad, right?

"Sorry isn't going to cut it for something like that. Do you have any idea what you put your mother through?"

"Do you have any idea what I have been going through?"

"Oh yeah, you have it so hard, don't you? You don't have to work, you don't have to bring home money for your family, you don't have to deal with spoiled little brats everyday. Yeah, you're suffering!" I shattered.

'hmm, look at you. You made the last person you have hate you. All because you don't know how to shut up!'

"That's not what I mean! I was-" I stopped myself. I can't finish that sentence. There's no point in doing so. It wouldn't matter now. "You what?" He spat. I can't look at him. "Nothing."

"God, I am so sick of -" he sighed out hard and I wanted to just disappear. I know what he was going to say. "I come to visit you in this hell hole and you act like a little brat." he scoffed and made his way for the door.

"Dad." He ignored me and exited the room. He didn't say goodbye.

I'm bad.

OooOooO

_**Oh, that made me sad. It's like 11am and I haven't went to sleep at all. My mom went to visit some dude she's been talking to like two days ago, and I have barely slept in that time just to defy her curfew that she isn't here to enforce. (Bwahahaha! Take that mother!)**_

_**But I'm fricken tired! And when I'm tired I get really emotional. So, while writing all this I got very sad, which is what fueled Naruto's issues. :(**_

_**and then I got mad because that damned mouse was mocking me! Which fueled Sasuke's issues!**_

_**Mmhmm... I am sooooo fricking tiredddddd! Can I go to sleep? NOOOOOOOOOO! I have a to go to therapy at 2 pm... Ugh!**_

_**I feel like crying!**_

_**New chapter soon...**_

_**Comment!**_


	4. Not Heartless

_**White Walls**_

_Chapter 4:_

Not Heartless

Sasuke's POV

I stood there watching Kakashi put all my stuff into brown paper bags. After spending three hours in isolation, the doctors decided that I should be put in the other precaution room. The one next door to Naruto's.

I don't like being on precaution. I was on it when I first came here for the first few days. They don't let you have anything. They think you'll either try to kill yourself or use something to hurt someone else. I don't understand it. They don't even let you have your fucking shoes, and they cut out the strings in your jackets and pants. Do they not know that people pay good money for that?

"Come on Sasuke."

Kakashi grunts and walks passed me. I give one last glare at the boy who sat opposite of my old bed. It's his fault they put me on precaution again. That bastard. I suppose it's just justice being served. A little pay back for that nasty bruise I left on the side of his face.

Oh well. He's not my friend anymore.

I turn and follow Kakashi across the living room where everyone was watching a movie, receiving a few glares from Shikamaru and Kiba, like always. I just ignore them.

While Kakashi unlocks the door I peek through the window in Naruto's door. He has the lights off, but I can see him laying on the floor, huddled against the wall. He's a weird one.

"Alright, say hello to your new room." Kakashi smiled and walked into the room and flipping the light on. I don't like this room. There is just a bed in the middle of the room. That's it. At least in the regular rooms you get a dresser and a side table.

He walks over to my new bed and dumps my stuff onto it. He picked through everything and takes my pens and my notebook. He even took my Ipod. Bastard. He turned to me and looked down at my feet. "Take em' off."

I glance down at my shoes. I was hoping he would ignore them. I don't like walking around just in my socks. I sigh and kick them off, letting him take them away from me. I wonder why shoes are even considered dangerous. Do they think we'll try to swallow them or something?

"We're heading to supper in a few minutes." He mumbled before walking out of the room, closing the door behind him. I stared around the room. It was so bare and quiet. Very quiet. It was kind of creepy being alone in silence like this. It's kind of weird.

I sat down on my bed, shoving the pile of clothes onto the floor and stared at the white walls. The light is dimmer in here and the blinds on the windows are closed. The walls don't have the same effect on my eyes as in my old room. I sighed. How did I even end up in this fucking place.

I don't like it here, but it's better for everyone. I deserve to be alone. I hurt people. I hurt mom and dad. I hurt Itachi. I hurt everyone. I just need to stay here alone, and guzzle down all the meds they give me that will help me to not get so fucking mad all the time.

Where the hell did I even get that? Who the hell did I inferit the fucking anger genes from? Definately can't be mom, and dad is way to impassive. Itachi isn't like me. Maybe I am the first in the family to have anger management problems. My kids will have it. If I have kids. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to populate the world with more monsters like me. I should just die. Everyone would be better off without me. I'm just trouble waiting to explode at any minute with a raging fist.

Fear me.

"Come on guys, line up!" I hear Iruka's voice. Dinner time. I sighed. I don't really feel like eating, but of course if I told them that they would think I was trying to kill myself or something and put me on the third floor where they put Gaara and Shino. Ha, those freaks.

I make my way to the door and walk out of my room. I saw everyone turning the corner already. I froze for a second and glanced throught Naruto's window again. He's still laying there. Maybe he's asleep. If he doesn't go he'll get in trouble again for not staying with the group. Stupid rules. I should get him. It can be my 'sorry' for getting in trouble in the first place. Yeah, and I can prove to that bastard Sai that I am not heartless!. I

I held my breat as I reached for the knob. I felt nervous. I don't want him to be all freakish. He'll just piss me off.

Naruto's POV-

My dad hates me.

Surely it can't be true. There is no possible way it happened like that. So fast, without warning. I lost it all today, didn't I? My world evaporated into a light blue cloud that melted around my body and burned my skin like a toxic nuclear poison. It amazes me to no end how the entire Universe seems to be against me, treating me like some cosmic joke.

'Oh, hey, here's an innocent little child with a smile on his face.' The Universe said at the time of my creation. 'Let's throw rocks of insanity and torture at him until he finds it unbearable and offs himself!Hahaha.' And the stars of fate giggled and nodded their gas filled heads.

Yes. I'm sure that's what happened.

I rolled over, letting my forehead touch the wall as I lay on the floor in the corner of my room. I didn't want to go out in the living room and join in on the activities. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to see or be seen by anyone. I just wanted stay in my room in the dark and sleep, if at all possible. I would be even happier if it was quiet.

I could hear them all out there. Laughing and talking. The movie they were watching blaring on the glass covered flat screen. I wish Kakashi would come back and put me in the detention room again. I didn't really finish my last twenty minutes.

Today was not a good day. I made Sasuke upset, got put in the detention room, lost my dad, then lost my shoes.

Yep, I lost my shoes. After dad left, this guy I never seen before came in and started going through my stuff. I was kind of weirded out by him at first, but he said it was because I was 'precaution'. He took all the sweat pants I had and tore the strings out of them. He took the books my dad had brought me. He took most of my socks, only leaving two pairs for me to wear. Then he took my shoes.

I don't care. It's not like I'm going anywhere that requires books and regular footwear. I wonder if everyone else had their stuff taken away too. Or maybe it's just me, seeing as how I'm the one who tried to kill himself.

I lift my arm to my face. I stare at the old scars, the newer half-healed scars, and the fresh gash that lay right over my wrist. The only one that I will cherish the most. It is beautiful to me. It's almost like it's a living entity staring back at me with sad eyes, unable to apologize enough for not being able to do what it was meant to do.

I trace over the skin that surrounds it. I used to love how I could feel my veins protruding from the smooth surface, but now all the little tunnels have collapsed and are nowhere to be seen. I miss them. I wish the hadn't come home so soon. I wanted, so badly, to die that night.

I would have succeeded if I hadn't been an idiot and left a damn trail of blood from the bathroom to my room. How stupid could I have been. I had ever been so careless before to not even cover it up before running through the house.

I felt absolutely stupid when my mom came stomping in ranting about how I fucked up her carpet. "I thought you were done with that shit!" She had yelled when she saw the blood seeping through the sleeve of my jacket. I, like an idiot, tried to cover it up thinking the trail wasn't enough evidence for her to know what I was doing.

She rolled her eyes and left the room. For a moment I thought I had a chance to finish the job. I practically ran to my dresser to pull out the box cutter I kept there. I think that was the moment I went a little coo-coo. I mean, I was a little coo-coo before, but I was way over the edge at that point.

I was numb. I could barely feel the pain of the industrial blade shredding through the same slash over and over. Cutting the flow in my veins and feeling my hand go cold as the heat dripped down my arm onto the carpet. More for mom to bitch about.

When my head felt airy and I had the urge to lunge forward to the floor my dad walked in. My mother was trailing behind him screaming her head off about how much of an idiot I am and how much it would cost to get the stain out.

Good old dad picked me up and carried me into the bathroom. He wrapped me up nice and tight. We didn't go to the hospital to get stitches, so there will always be a nice big scar to remind me of my first failed suicide.

I went to sleep that night hoping the bandages would fall off and I would continue my drain to the other side. It didn't happen. I woke up the next morning to my mom kicking the mattress telling me I had to go to therapy today. I felt sick. My head hurt, my arm was numb and cold. Every time I moved I got lightheaded and I wanted to puke. I knew that day would not be a good day.

Everything I had kept a secret, every little detail of my rather insane mind, I let it go all over my therapist. I remember how badly I wanted to slit her throat when she looked at me through her glasses like she was trying to see through me. Then she said, "I believe you have sever bouts of depression and it is causing you to have psychotic episodes inducing psychosis and symptoms of schizophrenia."

It was like she was laughing at me.

Mom was so mad when they told her that I had to go to a mental hospital. She didn't act like it in front of the therapist or the hospital representative. She was smiling and nodding like nothing was wrong. She even laughed a few times when the rep decided to joke around. She's always different when we're around other people.

She and dad drove me and mom kept getting mad because we didn't know how to get there. She started crying and screaming. My dad held her hand and told her "you'll get through this."

It made me want to cry when he said that. Did he forget that I was the one who tried to kill myself.

"Come on guys, line up!" It was Iruka's voice. I didn't know what was going on, and I really didn't care. I don't want to go out there.

I heard my door open and I closed my eyes tight, dreading the thought of one of the councelors coming in here and forcing me to go and join in on whatever it was that they were doing out there.

"Um... Naruto? It's time to go to dinner."

My eyes shot open and I sat up quickly, staring through the dark at Sasuke. Why is he in here? I just stared at him for a moment before he spoke again. "Are you coming, dobe."

I glared at him. I wasn't in the mood to take anyone's shit. I stood and crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm not a dobe. You bastard." He lifted his eyebrows at me and smirked. I heard him "hn" as he turned towards the door. "Nice to see your not all submissive."

I continued to glare at him as I followed him out of the room. Why is he such a jerk? When we got into the living room I realized everyone was already gone. "Come on. If we hurry we wont get in trouble."

We walked a little faster down the hall way. I kept glancing at Sasuke. He was starting to freak me out. Before, if I even went near him, he would freak out. Now, all of the sudden, he's talking to me like a normal human being. They probably drugged him up after he punched Sai.

He looked at me and I looked away quickly, keeping my gaze straight ahead. "Hey..." He sort of whispered. I looked at him. "I'm... I'm like... sorry and shit... you know, for being mean to you and everything."

Oh yeah. He's drugged.

"You should be, you big jerk." I wanted to just say 'it's cool', but I'm just not in the mood. I see him smirk and chuckle. I couldn't help but blush at the sound. I don't know why.

We made it to the cafeteria and no one seemed to notice us walk in. We took our place in the line and got our food. I took my place next to Shikamaru and he made his way over to the table he sat at before. He was alone now, since Sai found a new seat next to Kiba at our table. I felt kind of bad for him, but if he punched me in the face I wouldn't want to sit with him either.

"Stop it Sai!" I heard Kiba yell. I looked up and blushed when I saw where Sai's hand was on Kiba. "What, I just dropped my napkin." He smiled sweetly. He's a perv.

"So what happened with your dad?" Shikamaru asked, obviously trying to ignore the little episode taking place across the table. "Um, he got mad at me. I guess. Heh, I don't think he'll be back for a while." I tried to laugh a little, but it came out sounding pathetic. He smiled at me and nodded in understanding. He's nice.

I started feeling bad again. Like everything around me was a big blur and I was stuck in the mess of it all. I started breating hard and the thought of the box cutter that was at home made my mouth water. Today was a good day to let it out.

I looked down at the table. My eyes immediately going to the plastic fork. I thought of how easy it would be to snap it in half and use the sharp edge to dig deep into my flesh. Maybe open a few scars.

I bit the inside of my cheek and looked at the people sitting at my table. They were all eating or talking. Not looking at me. I ease my hand up and snatch the fork off the table. I slid it into the pocket of my new sweatpants. No one would see.

I'll be happy soon.

**Ooooh, what's gonna happen?**

**Hey, did you like that itty bitty little interaction between Sai and Kiba?**

**I think I might elaborate on them next chapter, just so I can be a perv!**

**And Sasuke apologized! Ahhh! And Naruto thinks he's drugged. Lol.**

**Sorry it's short and uneventful... I just needed a set up for next chapter!**

**Comment to make me happy!**

**Comment to make Sai extra pervy!**

**Tee hee!**

**Thanks!**


	5. Cutter

_This chapter, along with many more to come, is dedicated to Dekota (on FanFiction). Thank you for giving me wonderful mind fuel and listening to my pitiful rants! :D_

_**White Walls**_

_Chapter 5:_

_Cutter_

_Naruto's POV_

_Snap._

_I stared at the two ends of the now broken plastic fork._

_Is this what I have been reduced to? Using a plastic fork to get off? Will this even work? Steak knives, razorblades, box cutters. Those are what I use. Never a freaking plastic fork. I've never been desperate. I've never been in a mental hospital either, but hey, there is a first time for everything._

_I'm here for help, to be fixed, because there is something wrong with me. This is my problem. Falling into bad thoughts, and letting them out through broken skin and the pain that follows._

_I'm weak._

_I'm weak all the way around. I'm too weak to look anywhere else other than pain for release. At the same time, I'm too weak to just do it._

_End it all. Fall. Wither. Die. Kill myself._

_I turned the fork in my hand and ran my thumb over the jagged edges. I can try. I dropped the other half and listened to the little 'plink, plink' sound that came. It echoed in the silent room._

_It was so quiet. Everyone had gone to bed and it seemed like I was the only one in the building._

_I held the sharp edge to my arm, just under the mark of failure and pushed down as hard as I could and dragged it quickly. It only burned for a moment, but the skin didn't break._

_I stared like an idiot at the fork. It didn't do anything. Just a scratch._

"_Damn it!" I yelled, pushing the fork back to my skin forcing it harder and pulling it slower. Still nothing. I threw the useless plastic across the room. It bounced off the wall and slid under the bed in the middle of the room._

_I began to sob. Hard. I couldn't breath. It hurt. I was mad. I pounded my fists into the hard brick walls over and over. I hated this. I hated everything. Why couldn't I just catch a break. Let the almighty Death take me._

_I let my bruised hands fall to the ground. Just a little. Please, for the love of all that is good in the world, give me pain._

_I felt pathetic. I knew that was what I looked like. On the floor, crying over a fucking fork. Even more pathetic than the supply closet. I can't be this person. Don't let me be this person._

_'What else could you have?'_

_I bit the inside of my cheek. That incessant voice that seems to want to break me down when I'm already flat ironed into the ground. It's in my head. I should be able to control it. Make it go away. But I can't. I know I'm not crazy. It's not like it's some demon voice telling me to kill people. It's my own._

_My own voice, in my own head, reminding me everyday that I am broken goods. I am not top standard to anyone. I will never be anything other than what I've been watered down to in this world. I've come to terms with the truth. I know what happened, I'm not in denial. I know how it effects me and how it will effect me in the future._

_'That's right, no one will ever love you because they know you're bad, and sick, and filthy.'_

_Even so, the words that spill from my own mind still hurt, even when I don't believe them._

_'Pulled into the arms of a man you trusted only to be spit out like a piece of flavorless gum. But you didn't care did you?'_

"_Stop." Hurts. It still hurts. It hurts enough for me to give in and really listen._

_'You laid there and took it, pretending to be asleep. It happened on more than one occasion, but you never ever even thought of telling your mommy and daddy. Do you know what that makes you?'_

"_Stop... please. Just go away." I tightened my hands over my ears as the tears formed over my already bloodshot eyes. I didn't like the fact that I had a mean conscience._

_'A little, sick slut.'_

"_I was a fucking kid!" I yelled suddenly. "I didn't know what was going on! I didn't know what to do! I was scared!" My sobs got the better of me and I rested my head in my knees as I pulled myself into a tight ball. "I was just scared."_

_I could hear the soft chuckles pierce through my mind. I was sickened by it._

_Maybe I am crazy. _

_Sasuke's POV_

_I guess this room isn't so bad. Still kind of creepy being all alone, but solitude is good for some people. Sitting alone is good. It gives you time to think, time to breathe. Live in yourself._

_Although, at the moment, living in myself isn't as fun as it used to be. Now, the only thing that keeps passing through my head is him. His blue eyes, his blonde hair, the way he is so easily shattered by words. It's so easy to see that he was destroyed from the inside out. I wonder what happened to him._

_I've been to many group sessions with many different kinds of people. I can usually pinpoint someone issues after watching them for a few short moments. It's not that hard to do if you really pay attention. Their demeanor gives them away without them knowing it. I think that is the secret that all therapists have up their sleeves._

_That's why their eyes always look so small. They're focusing on every little tick you have. I'm ashamed to say I do the same thing, but then again, I'm not using what I learn about someone to say they have a problem, just so they will have to come back to my office so I can make money._

_But what do I know about Naruto? He doesn't look people in the eye that often, always keeping his head down. He's afraid of what people see when they look at him, or he doesn't like the idea of them getting inside his head. He's afraid of what people think._

_What else? Hm, he stalls before he talks. I know he does it with me, but I'm sure he does it with other people, too, which means he doesn't like people knowing too much about him. He wants everyone to remain at a distance, only letting a few twinkles of his real self out when he feels comfortable enough._

_I think I saw one of those twinkles today. When he actually talked back and got mad when I called him dobe. I didn't find him as annoying then._

_I jumped when I heard pounding on the other side of the wall. I sat up and stared at the wall that separated me from Naruto, expecting to see the blonde burst through the walls. It stopped and I got up from the bed, making my way over to said wall. I placed my ear against the wall, pulling away immediately, after realizing it would be pointless to try and hear anything through a brick wall._

_I walked to my door and peeked out of the window in the door. The lights were off and it seemed that the only supervision out there were the ever roving security cameras. They wouldn't be able to see me. I stepped out of my room and took only two steps to look into Naruto's room._

_It was too dark to actually see him, but I could hear him. Crying. Hard. It reminded me of how I cried when I had to leave my parents. The sorrowful sounds of his sobs made my heart fall to a place I didn't even know it was able to go to anymore._

"_Stop."_

_I jumped when I heard his voice push through the tears. It was strained, and hushed by the door. Was he talking to himself?_

"_Stop, please. Just go away."_

_Go away? Was he talking to me? Did he know I was standing here?_

"_I was a fucking kid!" I jumped again, when he practically screamed. I knew now that he wasn't talking to me. I had the thought to walk away, leave him to whatever schizo shit he was going through to him in his privacy. Then again, I felt the urge to stay. Listen to what I was sure no one else in the entire world could ever hear._

"_I didn't know what was going on! I didn't know what to do! I was scared!"_

_Harder he cried and I felt tears reach my own eyes. I had no idea who he was talking to, or even what he was talking about, but the sound of his voice was to beautiful to think twice._

_I put my hand on the door handle, ready to barge in and demand his tears stop, and force him to smile that bright smile of his. I don't like hearing him cry. It makes me unhappy._

_Just as I was about to open the door I heard foot steps. I looked over to the other side of the room quickly. I saw Sai. He was making his way to Kiba's room. God, he is such a fucking pervert. I still don't see how Shikamaru remains oblivious to all of their escapades... or how Kiba can't tell it's Sai is the one fucking him. Probably the meds. They fuck everyone up before bed._

_They confuse me._

_I turned back to my object of interest when I hear movement. I saw him crawling over to the bed and digging around underneath it. I couldn't see what he had grabbed, but I saw that he held it tightly as he laid his upper body on the mattress._

_He continued to cry, but it was lighter. He brought whatever he was holding to his arm and held it against his flesh. My heart nearly stopped when he started dragging it quickly across his skin, over and over._

"_What the hell are you doing?"_

_I didn't even notice that I had swung the door open. I'm sure I scared the shit out of Naruto by the look of pure terror that was displayed on his face. "Stop!" I stepped closer to him pulling the object from his hand. I looked down at it. It was a broken plastic fork._

_I looked back at Naruto. He seemed to be frozen. "What the hell were you trying to do?" I asked more calmly. I looked at his arm. It was still too dark, but I could see scars, old and new._

_He must have noticed that I was looking at his arm, because he immediately pulled his sleeve down over the the flawed flesh and stood up. "What are you doing in here?" He asked, keeping his head down._

_I smirked, trying to relieve the pressure of he situation. "I heard you pounding on the walls, I though I should come in and make sure you weren't trying to break out or something."_

_I saw a weak smile grace his full lips. "I wasn't doing anything." He mumbled. "Ok?" He looked up at me with pleading eyes. "I wasn't trying to kill myself. That's what people usually think."_

_I sighed and walked over to the light switch and flicked on the lights. We both winced at the sudden brightness. I made my way back over to him. "I know you weren't trying to kill yourself." I grabbed his arm gently, noticing the little splotches of blood that was seeping into the fabric if his shirt. I pulled his sleeve up. "I don't think even you are stupid enough to try and kill yourself with a broken plastic fork."_

_I stared at his pale arm and traced over the pink scars with my thumb. I looked over what 'damage' the fork had done. A few scratches, red marks, some with little beads of dried blood. "Not too bad." I let his arm go and I stared at his still so hollow eyes. I want to see him smile so bad._

_He's breaking me down._

_Naruto's POV_

"_What the hell are you doing?"_

_I jumped when Sasuke busted through my door, making me nearly shit myself. "Stop!" He yelled and yanked my busted fork out of my hand. I just stared at him, scared. I was afraid of what he would say._

_What would he say? What would he think? Would he take back what he said earlier? Is he going to think I'm a sick freak?_

"_What the hell were you trying to do?"_

_I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't when I saw his eyes roam to my exposed arm. He was judging me. Labeling me. Crazy. Suicidal. Cutter. I can't have him looking at such a hideous thing. I stood up quickly, pulling my sleeve down. I couldn't look at him anymore. "What are you doing here?" Is all that would com out of my mouth._

_I heard him laugh lightly as he spoke. "I heard you pounding on the walls," I swallowed hard. How stupid could I be? "I thought I should com in and make sure you weren't trying to break out or something."_

_I smiled. It was a funny joke to stir into this situation. "I wasn't doing anything. Ok?" I said looking up at him. I didn't want him thinking the worst like everyone else. "I wasn't trying to kill myself. That's what people usually think."_

_He sighed and started making his way back to the door. I thought we were done with our little meeting, but the lights flicked on and he came back. "I know you weren't trying to kill yourself." He grabbed my arm and started pulling my sleeve up. I wanted to pull away and run out of the room. I don't like people looking at my arms, but something about his touch made me also want to collapse in him._

"_I don't think even you are stupid enough to try and kill yourself with a broken plastic fork." His words fell into my ears, and they sounded beautiful. I have no idea why, but they just were._

_His words hypnotized me, and I let him look. All my weak moments, sad thoughts, bad memories, desires for pain all out on my canvas of flesh for him to see. He ran his thumb over a few of the scars. He didn't shudder, he didn't look away. I didn't feel disgusting._

"_Not too bad." He let my arm go and I noticed the little scratches that were left by the fork. Like he said, it was nothing too bad. Nothing I could be proud of. _

_He stood there staring at me. He smiled. "Come on. You can't keep that shirt in here." He pulled my sleeve down for me and started walking towards the door. I followed. The living room was dark and dead quiet._

"_Where are we going?" I asked blindly following his silhouette. "Laundry room." He stated. "You have blood on your sleeve. You could end up on the third floor for that."_

"_Third floor?" We came to a door at the end of the hall just outside of the living room. He opened it and turned on the light on. There were three sets of washers and dryers lined up against the wall. He closed the door behind us and started rummaging through the cabinets that sat above a table full of towels._

"_The third floor is for the people who are beyond precaution. The ones who like to hurt themselves and other people and will do anything to make what the want happen. My first roommate, Gaara, is up there now. He tried to strangle Kiba during dinner one day. Scared the hell out of everyone."_

_I bit my lip. He pulled out laundry detergent and looked at me. "Take your shirt off."_

"_What?" I hissed and felt my cheeks go warm. He only rolled his eyes. "That blood on your sleeve. If they see that, they'll want to see your arm. Once they see those scratches, you'll be up there in no time. You'll be in even more trouble for stealing this fork from the cafeteria." He smirked holding up the fork,then throwing it in the small trash can that sat by the door._

_I looked down at my sleeve. I hadn't realized that there was blood making itself noticed on the light grey of my shirt. I lifted my shirt just past my belly button and froze._

_'taking it off for him too, huh? Don't you know how to say no?'_

"_Come on, dobe. You have to get that blood off." _

"_He just wants to clean my shirt." I whispered._

"_What?" He cocked his eyebrow at me. I didn't respond. He doesn't want to do anything like that with me. He wouldn't touch trash. I tore the shirt off and tossed it to him. I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hold some of my dignity._

_I watched him closely as he ran the sleeve under the tap and smeared a bit of the soap onto the stain. He rubbed the fabric together. I leaned back against the wall and felt the cold hardness press into my back._

"_Ugh, yeah~" I heard a lust filled moan echo through the hall._

_My eyes widened. "Um... what was that?"_

"_Don't stop~"_

_Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Probably Kiba." He rinsed the sleeve. "He and Sai go at it every couple of days." I stiffened. "I didn't know they were like that."_

_He scoffed and tossed my shirt back to me. "Neither does Kiba." I didn't put it back on. I thought it would be stupid to put a wet shirt on. "What do you mean?"_

"_Kiba doesn't know that Sai is the one fucking him." I followed him out of the room and down the hall. "Sai is one of those people who will do whatever they have to to get what they want, and what he wants is sex. Specifically with Kiba. He goes in there when Kiba is pretty much drugged up on his sleeping meds and will believe anything. At the moment the idiot thinks there are things coming out of the walls doing that stuff with him."_

"_You like that? Huh?" A shiver went up my spine when I heard Sai's husky voice travel through the door. "Isn't Shikamaru Kiba's roommate?"_

"_Yep. He's out cold the whole way through." _

"_So... they're like really having sex right now?" He just nodded as we made it back to our rooms. I had no idea he was right next to me. But I guess that would explain why he could hear me pounding on the wall. Once we got to our doors I felt awkward. "I, um..." I stuttered. "Thank you... for cleaning my shirt and stuff."_

_He smirked. "No problem. Just don't do that shit anymore. If you have shit that you need to talk about, I'm right here." He gestured towards his door._

_I smiled. I felt the warmth come back to my cheeks again. He made me feel happy. He opened his door and was halfway in when a simple question entered my mind._

"_Hey, Sasuke." He turned to look at me. "W-why do you care all of the sudden?" I really shouldn't have asked something so stupid. I should have just let the situation end on a high note. But of course, I'm an idiot._

_He didn't answer right away. His brows furrowed together slowly and that intense glared made its way into his eyes. My smile went away fast and I bit the inside of my cheek._

"_Who the fuck said I care about you, you stupid fuck."_

_**Bwahaha. It is complete.**_

_**Urm, my attmept at going into the depths of Sai's and Kiba's 'relationship' was kind of a fail. But I got to be pervy... kind of.**_

_**And yes, Sasuke is being a dick. You'll find out why next chapter.**_

_**Now, you shall comment!**_

_**:D**_


	6. We Have Trustupdated

**Heyy!**

**Just to let you know, my inbox got messed up!**

**So, if you sent me a message and I didn't reply, please send it again (if you want) and I will get back to you.**

**ANNOUNCEMENT AT THE END!**

White Walls

Chapter 6:

We Have Trust

Sasuke's POV

He's been laughing all morning. It isn't how I imagined it would be. It's loud and strained, like he doesn't want to do, but feels the need to.

I should talk to him. Explain to him what happened last night. Ask HIM what happened last night. Surely we both have some explaining to do. Him, with his Psycho cutting and talking to himself. Me with my sudden change of emotional direction. Something has to be done.

"No way! I love them too! That one song on their last album is my favorite."

He's talking a lot more than usual too. Does anyone else notice the change? I've known him for only two days, and yet I can tell when he is faking. Last night made me see the real him, I'm pretty sure. He was so calm, yet nervous at the same time. He is a timid person, scared of what people can do to him. It's easy to see.

This loud person I'm looking at now was him in another life... maybe.

Naruto's POV

I woke up this morning with a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn't want to stay in my room. I didn't want to sit still. I had to move. Every time I opened my mouth I would laugh, or say things to loud even for my ears. It is so strange.

I went to bed last night feeling stupid and angry because of that idiot bastard. He is the most annoying person on the planet! He was being soooo nice to me, cleaning my shirt up and everything, then he had to go and be all 'Who the fuck said I cared about you, you stupid fuck.' and boom he slams his door in my face.

I don't get it! Is he bipolar or is he just a dick?

I shouldn't think such things. I should just be happy that he didn't tell anyone what I did. He did ask any questions either. I'm thankful for that. I was in a bad state of mind. I would have told him everything if he asked.

I think this strange feeling was brought on by the way he looked at me. When he looked at my arm he didn't look at it in disgust. He made me feel normal. The first person on this earth that ever looked at me without have negatives hidden behind their eyes. I would like to talk to him more.

Whether he slams the door in my face again, or not.

…

Iruka is here today in group therapy. Something tells me that Kakashi is extremely happy about that. The way he looks at the other man is fascinating. He just flat out wants him. That makes me smile.

It doesn't surprise me that Sasuke sits next to me. I don't know why it doesn't surprise me, it should. I'm almost afraid to look at him. I feel like if I look at him, his face will be that of a monster. Someone I don't know.

I know, I sound crazy, but this weird feeling hasn't gone away yet and it is starting to mess with my head.

"Trust!" Iruka smiles at all of us in the center of the circle. He doesn't look all sad like he did when I first met him. Perhaps Kakashi makes him smile too. "Trust is an important thing for all of us to have. We need to be able to trust people to be able to talk about stuff with people, and it is necessary for human interaction. If we didn't trust anyone at all, no one would ever want to talk to anyone out of fear! That wouldn't be a world I would want to live in."

Kakashi came up beside him with a box. "This here," He reached in and pulled out an egg. "Is trust."

"That's an egg!" Kiba shouted, giggling slightly. Iruka nodded and laughed. "You're right, it is and egg, but for this exercise, we're going to pretend that this is our trust cell. Now, this is what you will do." He and Kakashi moved further apart and stood facing each other. "First you will start off by writing one secret that you feel comfortable sharing with your partner on the egg." Kakashi handed him the black marker and he wrote something on it that made him blush slightly.

"Then, once you have written it on there, you are going to toss it to your partner." Kakashi readied himself further away from Iruka and caught it flawlessly. He looked down at what had been written on the egg and smirked. "Then, your partner will do the same. This will allow you to get used to being open with other people. Of course you can't always talk through eggs, but it is a fun exercise."

This all sounds so stupid. No one is really going to write down any of the secrets that matter.

"Partner up!"

I stand immediately, ready to take my place at Kiba's side, since Shikamaru liked to sit out of things most of the time. I was pulled back gently by a tug on my wrist. His touch makes the weird feeling grow in my throat, making me feel like I should laugh just to get it out. I turn back around and stare down at the bipolar guy who enjoys cleaning shirts, then slamming doors in people's faces.

"We're partners."

"I don't think w-"

"Sasuke and Naruto, here is your egg... and your markers." Kakashi interupted me and handed me the markers and Sasuke gets the stupid egg. I don't like this game. Sasuke starts walking over to the corner and I follow, seeing as how there is no way of getting out of this now. I wonder what kind of secrets he can easily write on an egg.

I handed him a marker and we stepped further apart. I felt like we were isolated from everyone else. I want to laugh again.

I look up at him across from me. He's just staring at me. "What?" I bite my tongue. He doesn't respond. He holds the egg up and writes something down on it. I watch each pen stroke he makes wondering what hidden treasures are being revealed. He looks up to make sure I'm ready.

Toss. Catch.

I stared down at the black letters that made themselves known on the surface.

'I'm sorry.'

I can't take my eyes off of the words. Is he apologizing to me, or for something he's done?

'For what?' I write under his.

Toss. Catch. Write. Toss. Catch.

'I didn't mean to make you feel bad last night.'

He is apologizing. I feel more comfortable writing my words than saying them. It makes it easier. Maybe he feels the same.

'Why did you do it in the first place?'

Toss. Catch. Write. Toss. Catch.

'I don't want to hurt you.'

Those words played over and over in my head. Someone said that to me once, and didn't keep their word. But he... feels... right.

I look down at the egg, looking for room to respond. The very bottom of the egg was open. I took my time and did the strokes slowly to make them perfect.

Toss. Catch.

"How about you guys?" Iruka popped out of nowhere with Kakashi at his side. "Do you guys have trust?"

We look at each other for a few seconds, confirming out thoughts.

"We have trust."

**Oooh! Sooo Sorry I haven't updated for a long time! It's been like a month! **

**You see, we just moved . not fun...**

**I was so slumpified by the change... (me being paranoid schizophrenic, I thought the neighbor boys were going to break into my house and go through my journals- I know, weird)... I was soooo wigged out that I lost all my inspiration for my stories. **

**This chapter was really short, because I had a whole different idea that includes rApE, and Sasuke's past, but it would have been long, and I knew I wouldn't finish it today, and I would forget about for another month or something...**

**So this is what you get! :D**

**Be happy! The next one will be longer!**

ANNOUNCEMENT!

**_VOTES ARE NO LONGER NEEDED_**

After the next chapter of Sleep In Sunlight, I will have room for a new fanfic... I have three set up, and I think it would be cooooool if you guys vote for what you want!

SO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS, whether you plan to read it or not, should leave your vote in a comment!

Fanfic #1: SasuNaru: Domestic violence, abuse, rape (maybe), mentions of mpreg. -Naruto and Sasuke (24, 26) are living together with two kids. With the stress of trying to make ends meet, and the fear of losing his family Sasuke takes his worries out on Naruto.

Fanfic #2: SasuNaru: Teen angst, murder, violence, drug abuse, teenage prostitution, all sorts of illegal stuff. -After coming out to their families, and getting a negative reaction, Naruto and Sasuke (14, 15) stage their deaths and run away so they can be together and face many problems that force them to make the decision of returning home, or staying lost in the world for ever. (dun dun dunnnn)

Fanfic #3: SasuNaru: Paranormal, Satan Worshiping (Gaara's doing), dark, character suicide (Gaara, just so you know.), Teen angst, craaaazzzyyy stuff! -Gaara had always thought that Naruto and Sasuke belonged together, so when they broke up, he took drastic measures. After his ritualistic suicide, it seems that his spirit wont quit until the two are together again. (All characters: 15-17)

**_VOTES ARE NO LONGER NEEDED_**

Thank You!

**Comments makes my head clear and the ideas flow!**


	7. What We Come From part 1

_**Someone pointed out to me that I switch between tenses in the story... I knew I should have pointed this out in the beginning, but I didn't...**_

_**You see, I switch between present and past tense in paragraphs.**_

_**For example, in one paragraph it will be Sasuke's thoughts at the present time, but in the next it will be him in the future relaying the story of what happened... Ehh...**_

_**Sorry if that confused anyone.**_

_**White Walls**_

_Chapter 7:_

_What We Come From Part1_

_Sasuke's POV_

_Today is Tuesday. The one day I have grown to hate even more than Saturday. Today is visitor's day. Itachi is here._

"_Sasuke. Let's go." Kakashi popped his head into my room without knocking. Annoying. "I don't think so. I feel sick. Just tell him to leave." I know it wont work, but there is always a possibility._

"_I don't think so. Come on. Maybe you and Itachi can talk about Naruto." I shot up at the statement, glaring holes into his stupid oddly shaped head. "Why would I want to talk about that idiot?" He chuckled. "I saw your egg. By the looks of it, you two must really-"_

"_Ok! Let's go." I shouted scooting my way past him. Whatever he had to say was probably stupid._

_We made our way through the hall and stopped at one of the small counseling rooms. I don't understand the purpose of visitations. The whole point of coming here was to get away from everything. That is what Kakashi told me the first day I was here. Seeing Itachi isn't 'getting away', it's just annoying._

_Kakashi opens the door and immediately, as always, I am met with a bright smile that just does not belong on that face. "Hey, Sasuke." He greets me. "Hi."_

"_Ok. Visitation is half an hour today. Are your parents coming later?" He asked looking at Itachi. "No. They aren't coming today." Of course not. Why does he even have to ask._

"_Alright. Half an hour." He said one last time before leaving us. And then it begins._

"_So..."_

_It will go on like this at first, with simple meaningless questions..._

"_Um..."_

_Then we'll start talking about what the doctors say... _

"_How have you been?" He smiles politely. Do we have to do this? Really?_

"_Fine." Simple one worded answers make these meetings short and sweet. I have learned this through experimentation. He only nods and looks down at the table that sits between us in this small room. "That's good." He mumbles._

"_How about you?" I asked._

"_Oh! I've been great. I got a new job at that pizza place. Dad isn't too happy about it, but-"_

"_Is he ever happy about anything?" I mumbled. Itachi smiled slightly. "No. I guess not."_

_It got quiet. I really want to go back to my room and sleep the rest of the day away. Visits with my brother make me tired._

"_Sasuke..." Yep, here it comes. "The doctors say that you haven't been talking to anyone. You haven't participated in group."_

"_I have participated!" I yelled. _

_I need to breath. He's pissing me off. He doesn't have to live here. Neither do the doctors. They have no right to pass judgment on my behavior._

"_One time. Just recently. That doesn't count."_

"_How does it not count? I did the stupid exercise with my stupid partner. I did it!"_

"_Alright, alright." He tried to tame me down. Doesn't he know that just makes me even more angry? Everything he does makes me angry. _

_He sighed and sat back in his chair. He wants to leave, but he doesn't want to make me feel bad. He looked up at me. "Don't you want to come home?"_

_Do I? Not really. The thought of being around them all the time makes my muscles twitch. _

"_No." I said simply. "I like it here."_

"_You do not. You've been here for over a month. Don't you miss your mom and dad? Me, even?"_

_I scoffed. "Do you guys miss me?"_

"_Yes we miss you! If you just did what you're supposed to, you could come home whenever you want."_

"_Jesus! You act like I'm in prison!" I yelled. "I CAN leave whenever I want! Mom and Dad are the ones who have to sign the release forms. If they really missed me they would come and get me."_

"_They don't want to just come and get you. They want you to get better. They want you to be-"_

"_Like you?"_

_It got quiet again. I keep my eyes on him, not even blinking. I want him to know that I hate him. I want him to feel the heat of my glare burning into his core. He sighed. "Do we have to go there now, Sasuke?"_

"_Do what?"_

"_Stop yelling!" He snapped. My head was starting to hurt with the thought of having to beat him into the ground. I just wanted to go back to sleep. "I'm not yelling." I said lowly, holding my glare steady. He took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling as though he was asking God why he was cursed with such a thing for a brother._

"_Mom and Dad do not want you to be like me. They just want you to do good in life. They did the same thing to me. Always scolding me and telling me I could do better." I didn't take my eyes off of him as he leaned forward resting his elbows on the table. "Sasuke... just do what the doctors tell you and you can come home."_

"_How many times do I have to tell you people? I don't want to go home!" My head hurts more. I don't think this is a good time to see Itachi. "What is so bad about being with your family?" He asks. I know the answer, but I don't want to say it. I don't want him to know that I feel guilty about getting mad all the time. I don't want to feel like a bigger loser than I already am._

"_Can we talk about something else, please?" I sank into my chair and yawned. Itachi forced a smile onto his face and nodded. He knew when to agree with me... that's about it. "Alright. Um, are you still talking to Sai? Last time I was here it seemed like he was someone you could tolerate." I swallowed. "We don't talk anymore. We're not roommates anymore."_

"_Why?"_

"_I, um... I got mad at him and punched him."_

"_Why?" That really is a question with a million answers. "He just wouldn't shut up. He kept talking about Naruto and said I was heartless... I'm not heartless." My head hurts._

"_Is Naruto your friend here?"_

"_Yeah... something like that." I love him._

_Naruto's POV_

_I heard my Mom and Dad were coming today. I don't think it's true. Neither of them want to see me anymore. They don't like me._

_**'Of course they don't like you. They know your bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Even Daddy knows now...'**_

"_You just keep quiet." I mumbled. I didn't want to hear it. Constantly nagging._

_**'Why should I? I'm the smartest person in this room right now. You should listen to me. Keep what I say in your head all the time and you will survive.'**_

"_You don't make sense. You're not even real. Just go away."_

_**'Not real? How am I not? You can hear me, can't you? I know you can feel me here in the back of your head. I'm sure if you tried you could see me too. I am real. I am just as real as God or the Devil. Not quite there, but there all the same. Don't deny my existance.'**_

_I closed my eyes tightly. It's getting worse. More and more words seem to form from this voice. It confuses me. It is in my head. My own mind is what decides what words are said, but... no matter how hard I try I can't turn it off. I don't want to be like those people who 'hear voices'. Even if it does get out of hand, I don't think I would fall into that category of diagnosed schizophrenia. The voice I hear is mine. Not a demon, or a monster, or that of a childhood friend. It is just mine._

"_Naruto? Can I come in?" I sat up from my bed and stared at the door. It was Iruka. I quickly ran my hands over the loose shirt that I wore and did a quick comb through of my hair. It was always easy to tell by my appearance that I was somehow half way in and out of my head. I swallowed hard and wiped at the small tears that had formed in my eyes and smiled. "Yeah. Come in."_

"_Hey there. How are you?" He smiled at me as he stepped in a little. "I'm fine." I replied. _

"_Oh, that's good. Your parents are here." I stood up and nodded. _

_**'Don't be stupid about this.'**_

_I followed behind Iruka, suddenly feeling the cold turns in my stomach. My heartbeat thumping in my ears, causing thoughts of ripping the organ out just to make the sound go away to return. _

_What are they going to say? Did dad tell mom about what happened last time? Are they teaming up to take me down? Maybe they're going to kill me today._

"_Here we are." Iruka smiled and pushed the door to a random room open. I didn't go in right away. The first thing that caught my eye was my mother's blood red hair. Such an intimidating color. I wanted to turn and run. Shout words of insanity so they have no choice but to send me back to my room and my mom and dad would just have to go home. I don't want to talk to them._

"_Hey, sweetheart." My mother smiles at me, forcing me silently to take my seat at the opposite end of the table. I only nod. She's faking. My mouth is feeling tight. My jaw is going to break. "Alright you guys, visitations are thirty minutes. Enjoy your time." My throat is closing. I can't breath. If Iruka leaves..._

_**'They'll turn into monsters.'**_

_The door closed and we were alone. I kept my eyes on the door. I was trapped._

"_How have you been?" That's Dad's voice. It still sounds the same. I move my eyes cautiously to his face. He's smiling. "Fine." I can't help but smile too. That's my daddy. He nods with an even bigger grin. The cold turns are gone. "That's good. So listen, Iruka and Kakashi talked to us. You're doing good here." I nodded. "We thought that since you were doing good here, maybe you could come home and just continue doing out patient therapy."_

_A sudden rush went through my spine. I thought that meant I was cured. If they wanted me to come home, that meant I wasn't bad anymore..._

"_Minato, please." My mother rolled her eyes, glaring at my dad. "He isn't coming home." My throat is getting tight again. Why is she my mother?_

"_Kushina. He's doing better. Did you not hear Kakashi say it would be ok to take him home?"_

"_Oh no, I heard him. But come on," She laughed mockingly as she glanced at me. Just me. "He wanted to be here. Let's just be the parents we always wanted to be and give him what he wants."_

_My lip started to quiver. The room was too loud. I needed it to be quiet. "I don't want to be here, mom." My voice was strained and it hurt to open my mouth. She shook her head at me like she did when I was little. "Oh, but don't you? Isn't that what you've been aiming for?"_

"_Kushina-"_

"_The little brat just wants attention. It's exactly like when he was eight and he told his teachers that someone raped him."_

"_I DID NOT TELL THEM THAT!" _

_I couldn't breath. My heart was lodged in my throat. Death is a welcomed idea._

"_I never told anyone!" I need my filter. "They just knew!" Why wont it work? "It wasn't my fault!" I can't stop talking. "I didn't tell them they were wrong! I needed someone to know!" I'm going to throw up. My voice isn't mine anymore. _

"_You guys couldn't even tell that that monster was fucking me!"_

_**'You're Dead!'**_

... Whoa... I'm emotionally drained.

I had more, but I needed to stop for now. I'm feeling lightheaded.

Let me know what you think.

_P.S. Sorry for any mistakes._


	8. What We Come From part 2

_To those who were waiting for this, you should thank Babywolfchick1142 (on ) for reminding me asking me to update. If she hadn't sent me a message, I might have just let this story rot..._

_ANYWAY! THIS IS SHORT! So don't be a dick head and leave a comment telling me I'm lazy and shit for not making it super long like last time... (you know who you are. O.o)_

Also, sorry if I haven't replied to your messages lately. I have them all saved, so I can reply to them soon.

_**White Walls**_

_Chapter 8:_

**What We Come From Pt 2**

"Mommy, I want to go to the slide." Naruto stared up at the redheaded woman with big blue eyes that seemed to be filled with joy over the idea of getting to go and play. Maybe some of the other children who lived in the large apartment complex would come out too and want to play. Kushina smiled and knelt down to the young boy's level. "If you want to go and play you need to stay at the small play ground, Ok?"

"But, mommy, the little playground doesn't have a slide! None of the other kids play there." He wined. The woman shook her head. "Naruto, the other playground is clear in the back of the complex. You can't go by yourself." The small blonde crossed his arms. "Yes I can! Please Mommy! Please? I'll only play for a little while." Kushina shook her head again. " No." A rough growl came from four year old as he stomped away from his mother into the living room where his toys laid scattered across the floor. "I want to play outside!" He yelled loudly and kicked at his toys, glaring as they flew across the room and smashed against the wall.

"Naruto!" His mother yelled grabbing him by the arm and yanked him harshly. "What the hell are you doing? You do not kick your toys in the house!" She lifted her delicette hand and swiftly smacked the blonde across the face. Naruto fell to the carpeted floor with a soft thud. Immediately a shrieking scream came from the small child and floods of tears fell from his tightly squeezed eyes. He rolled over onto his stomach to hide his face in the carpet feeling the twinge of embarrassment from being smacked.

Kushina stared down at her little boy. She sighed and laid down next to him placing her hand on his trembling back. "Naruto." She whispered kissing his blonde locks. "I'm sorry." Naruto looked up for only a second before he latched onto his mother and sobbed into her chest. "But you know throwing tantrums isn't something good little boys do." The blonde looked up into her eyes and nodded in agreement. The woman smiled. "If you want to play outside, why don't you go play with the chalk Daddy got you on the patio."

Naruto stood up. "Ok." He said as he wiped his eyes. Kushina stood up to and walked over to the kitchen and grabbed the box of chalk off of the counter. "Come on." She held out her hand and waited for him to take it before she led him out of the apartment onto the cement pathway. "I think here is a good spot." She smiled. The little boy smiled too and plopped down where he stood. He watched as his mother carefully laid out the different colored chalk in front of him. "There you go. You can make a picture for Daddy." She turned to go back into the apartment but stopped and turned back. "You stay right here, ok? Don't go off the patio." The little blonde nodded.

Naruto picked up a piece of blue chalk and started to scribble around on the ground, not really caring what it looked like. 'Mommy is mean.' He thought. 'I just want to go play with the other kids. They all go to the playground with the slide. I want to go there too.' the blonde pouted. He jumped when he heard the familiar screech of the school bus stopping to drop the older kids off. He stood up quickly and ran to the end of the cement path to see the big yellow bus. He knew he would get to ride one to school in one more year.

"Hi!" He shouted waving his hand wildly above his head, greeting the two older boys that always walked past his apartment to get to theirs. The both scoffed at the younger boy and continued on. "Did you guys have fun in school?" Naruto asked excitedly, daring to step off the path to stop the boys. The taller one glared down at him. "Why don't you just go mess around with your chalk, you baby." Naruto's cheeks went red with a bit of anger and embarrassment as the other boy joined in on laughing. "I'm not a baby!" He yelled stomping his foot hard onto the ground. "Yeah. Whatever." Again, they continued to walk on.

"Wait!" He hollered again. "Do you guys want to play with me?" The two older boy squinted their faces at the little freak of a boy, then smirked. "Sure. We can play. We're going to the playground. You can come with us." Naruto felt a flutter go through his chest and into his stomach. He was so excited to think that he would get to play with other kids. That is all he ever wanted. Without giving it a second thought the excited little blonde abandoned his chalk and followed the two boys to the back of the apartment complex.

"Hey guys, we brought a toy!" The taller one shouted to his friends when they came to the small playground. "Heh, who's the runt?" A boy shouted from the top of the slide. The little boy couldn't help but smile. "Hi! I'm Naruto! Can I play with you guys?" He suddenly felt shy. He didn't think there would be so many other kids here. "Hah! Sure!" Naruto's butterflies left his stomach and were replaced by a warm fuzzy feeling. He had friends! Other kids who wanted to play with him!

"Come up here." The boy who stood at the top of the slide said, flashing his teeth in a wide set grin. The little blonde couldn't contain himself and he immediately ran for the wooden stairs that led to a maze of landings that would bring him to the slide. "Wow!" He said when he got to the top. He had never been so high up before. "Well, what are you waiting for?" Suddenly the boy behind Naruto slammed his body against his small figure and Naruto was sent tumbling down the slide.

Hot tears began to build around his blue eyes as the scrape on his knee made itself known. His bottom lip quivered. Naruto didn't want to look up. He could hear all the boys laughing at him.

"Hey! What's going on here?" A man shouted from the sidewalk. His voice was deep and it scared the little blonde causing him to tuck himself into a ball and cower. "Run!" He heard a boy shout and silence soon filled the air.

"Are you alright, little guy?" Naruto looked up slowly and stared into piercing green eyes. The man knelt down and ran his fingers through the blonde's hair. "Were those kids being mean to you?" Naruto sniffled and tried to wipe his tears away. "Y-yeah. They said I could play with them, but then someone p-pushed me down the slide."

The green eyed man smiled. "Well, who needs them? I can be your friend." He let his hand roam down from the blond locks to his stomach, and then to his little legs. "You've got a pretty bad scrape there. We should get you back to your mommy so that you can get fixed up, huh." The little blond nodded in agreement.

The man stood and pulled Naruto into his arms and held him close. Half way to the apartment Naruto could already hear his mother yelling for him. The man chuckled. "I'm guessing you weren't supposed to be at that playground, were you?" The blonde shook his head.

"Oh! Naruto!" Kushina gasped wide eyed when she saw her son be carried by the stranger. She ran up to them and immediately latched onto him, pulling him into her own arms. "I told you not to go off the patio. What happened to your knee?" She lightly grasped his little leg. "Heh heh," The man smiled placing a hand on Naruto's head. "Some kids were picking on him and he got pushed down the slide."

"See, that's exactly why I don't want you going to that playground by yourself." She scolded. "I'm sorry, Mommy." He whispered and laid his hand on his mother's shoulder. Kushina looked at the green eyed man. "Thank you for bringing back here." She went to turn away, but was stopped by the man's hand grabbing onto Naruto's back. "Hey, little guy. Maybe you can come to the playground again sometime. Those kids wont mess with you if I'm there." He smiled. "That is, if it's ok with your mother." He glanced at Kushina.

The red head gave the man a questioning look. He was strange, but he seemed nice. "Um, yeah. Maybe we could do that sometime." She said and tried to walk away, but was summoned back by the man. "Hey, if you ever need a babysitter, I'm free. I used to work in a daycare center, so I'm qualified." He looked at Naruto. "I love kids."

The woman stared at the man for a second, feeling uneasy about the way his eyes continuously met her son. "Sure, maybe. I'll have to talk to my husband about that. What's your name?" The man reached out his hand and Kushina hesitantly took it in a strong shake.

His smile grew into a satisfied grin. "My name is-"

**Naruto's POV**

My fate was sealed with that hand shake.

My mom and dad talked about it that night. Eventually my mother talked to him and asked him to babysit me for a few hours while she and Dad went to the dinner, just so they could see if he would do a good job at babysitting.

I was excited. He was nice and we played games. He let me have cookies after we ate dinner and read me a story before he tucked me into my bed. He was good.

Then the bad things got a hold of him and made him into one of them. He did things that he should burn for. He took a lot from me in a very short amount of time and his still walking free.

I don't get the world anymore.

I looked up at my Mom and Dad. They both have wide eyes and it's so quiet. Not even the my conscience was speaking. I couldn't even feel him in my head. It's like white noise in my ears. My face felt hot and my throat was tight. This was not how it was supposed to happen.

"Can I go to bed now?" I asked. I didn't feel right. My mouth wouldn't even open enough for the words to escape correctly. I felt broken.

"Naruto." I stared at my dad. My eyes were so heavy and blurry. His breathing his different. "Tell me who did that to you... please." His eyes were watery. He looked scared. I wondered if that was how I looked the first time it happened. Scared.

I shook my head. "I don't want to tell you who it was. It doesn't matter. Saying his name wouldn't change anything."

"No. You need to tell me who it was. Right now! I'll kill the sick fucking freak!" He screamed.

"Minato." My mother spoke, placing her hand on his arm. She looked at me. Her eyes were searching for something in me.

I laughed. I don't know why. "It would be better if I was lying. Wouldn't it?" I closed my eyes, hoping my childhood dream would come true and maybe I could just sleep forever. "It hurts to remember."

000000000000000000

**Urg! Sorry it's short again.**

**My math teacher is kind of... well, she's a total raving bitch, so I've been kind of busy lately.**

**And I was also working on three new oneshots that I wanted to get up before 2012 came.**

**I am definitely updating Scratch next... then Causes&Effect.**

**Sasuke and Naruto will be communicating in the next chapter.**


	9. What Love Means To Me

_Hey love!_

_If you are wondering why it's been FOREVER since I last updated, it's because my laptop broke in half... bummer, I know. But my mom was nice and let me pick out a new laptop and it is AWESOME!_

_I tried to make this chapter somewhat long, and VERY eventful for you since I will be focusing on some Cause&Effect and Scratch more since they have been left in the dark for a while._

_So yeah! ENJOY!_

_**White Walls**_

_Chapter 9:_

What Love Means To Me

**Sasuke's POV**

Something happened to Naruto.

He's been acting different for two days now. More quiet. Scary in a way. He hasn't been playing with Kiba or talking to Shikamaru at all. If and when he comes out of his room he just sits on the couch and does nothing. Something must have happened.

"Ok, everyone. Our favorite time of the month has finally come back around." I heard Iruka shout from the middle of the room. I stood from my bed and walked slowly to my door and peeked out the small window to look at the man who was addressing us all. "Activity day! We'll be heading down to the gym in a few minutes. The other patients from the other floors will be there today too, so remember to be respectful and no trouble making." No one seemed to be too excited about activity day, except Kiba of course who was already lined up against the wall waiting for the others to follow.

I looked over at the blonde who was sitting on the end of the couch, stiffly staring at his hands that were folded tightly in his lap. Shikamaru, who was sitting next to him, leaned closer to him and said something to him. Naruto nodded and they both stood up and lined up next to Kiba. I opened my door slowly and made my way across the room to where the others were standing. I got behind Naruto and leaned against the wall. I stared at the back of his head hoping he would turn around and smile, say hi, or call me a jerk. I really didn't care. I just didn't like the way he was acting at the moment. I had the urge to just punch him in the back of the head, get his attention that way, but that would only cause problems. Plus, it would have probably made my recent apology just empty words.

"Ok, everyone ready?" Kakashi took his place in the front of the line, while I assumed Iruka would be trailing behind us. "Remember to be polite and not to cause any trouble. If there is a problem then, there will be counselors from all the floors down there find them. If you do not want to participate in any of the activities in the gym, then you need to stand or sit along the wall. As always, you are not permitted to leave the area without me or Iruka knowing. Understood?" He didn't wait for any reply, not that he would get one if he did. He started walking towards the door and the line moved, Naruto going dragging his feet like he was on his way to being 'zombified'.

We passed through the two locked doors and made our way down the silent halls. We'd pass rooms where group therapy for the rehab patients and play rooms where the little kids were taken on a daily basis. I sighed. This building is full of people with problems. We entered a dark hall way, the only light source being the red exit sign that hung in the center of the wall on the left sighed. I could hear Kiba mumbling something about the monsters in the wall coming out in a place like this. Sudden yells, squeaks, and thuds were echoing through the hall when we got closer to the gym. Kakashi pulled open the door and we stopped as Kiba seemed to be hesitant to enter the large area of noisy kids. "Go on, you guys can play basket ball with the others if you want." I hear Iruka from behind us. We all entered.

I watched Kiba, Shikamaru, and Naruto all head towards the other side of the gym and sit down on the floor, leaning their backs against the wall. I looked around. Kids our age, some a little older were running around screaming, playing basket ball, and whatever else they could do to get rid of the energy that seems to build up in your system when you're here. It was so noisy. I knew Kakashi wouldn't let me go back to my room. You have to be in the gym. "Hey." I heard a familiar voice, raspy from the lack of use, that made me turn. A steady glare through sleep deprived eyes settled on me. "Hey." I said returning the favor. Gaara was my old roommate before Sai. He got sent to the third floor for trying to strangle Kiba. "They're still keeping you here?" He asks glancing over at Iruka and Kakashi who were standing by the door talking to each other. "Yeah, well it's better than being home."

"I used to think the same thing." He scoffed glaring out at the other patients who were still moving rapidly about the court. "What? Is the third floor really that bad?" He laughed slightly shaking his head. "You have no idea what its like to have to sit there in a dark room and listen to people scream and cry all night long. It's rather isolated. More than what I like. They don't even bother with group therapy."

"Maybe you'll think twice about trying to kill emotionally stunted freaks." He nodded slightly and we both stood around listening to the screams and thuds. I looked over to where Naruto was sitting. His face was dull, just staring at the floor in front of him. He wasn't even blinking. It was rather scary seeing him like that. "Did you ever get a new roommate?" Gaara asked, pulling me back in from my worries. "Yeah, for a while."

"What does that mean?" I chuckled slightly. "It means I had a roommate that I could actually stand and then I had to go and punch him in the fucking face." The red head rolled his eyes with a smirk. "What the hell made you punch him in the face. I thought you were trying to keep that little anger issue of yours in check." I swallowed hard as I felt my face morph into a glare. "I was keeping it in check. Sai just didn't know how to shut the hell up. He kept on going on and on about Naruto, saying that I was a heartless bastard for yelling at Naruto. I guess in a way I am, I mean I went back and forth on Naruto twice already and I can't seem to stop. I want to be nice, but then if I do that we'll be friends, and then out of nowhere something will happen that makes me mad, then I'll lose my fucking mind and end up beating the hell out of-"

"Ok, ok. Calm down, man. You're half way to hyperventilation." I took a breath and closed my eyes trying to cool the steam that was ruminating in my brain. "So, who's Naruto?" I opened my eyes and looked at Gaara. "Huh?" He rolled his eyes at me again. "Naruto. You were just rambling on about you being heartless because you were mean to this Naruto person." I debated whether or not to spill my guts to who I accepted as my one and only best friend. Gaara was quiet and pretty much the scariest fucking person you would ever meet in your life, but he was clear minded and could easily unravel a bad situation with a snap of a neck. "That blonde kid over there." I pointed in the direction of where he was sitting with Kiba and Shikamaru across the gym.

"So, what? You got the hots for him or something?" My hands went over my face in hopes that everyone would just disappear and I could just sit in silence and just force Naruto out of my mind all together. "Maybe." I mumbled. I head him sigh slightly and I let my hands fall to my sides so I could analyze his face. "Hm..." He was looking at Naruto. "Well, that's... different. I didn't think you were into the whole falling in love thing." A blush went across my face. "I did not say I was in love!" I shouted. Gaara smirked and gave me a look that seemed to pierce through me reading into every corner of my brain. "Well you are. I can tell. I'm guessing that you tried really hard to make him hate you when he first came here, but you couldn't help but be nice to him. Then, when you realized you were just about to break the ice with him you snapped because you don't want to hurt him because you think anyone you get close to will end up as dead skin cells under your fingernails. Am I right?"

It was rather annoying how he could see right through me. At the same time it made him into someone I knew I could trust wholeheartedly. "Yeah, but you know how I am. I lose control to easily. Naruto is... broken."

"Broken?" I nodded. "I don't know how to explain it. He had a bit of freak out one night. He was talking to himself, and he was crying, and he tried to cut himself over and over again." Gaara kept on looking around the gym. "That doesn't seem to weird considering we're in a psychiatric hospital."

"He's different, though."

"How so?"

"I actually care about him."

**Naruto's POV**

The floor was light brown in the gym. It was loud. I wanted to play with them, but I didn't know if I was good at shooting the ball. Shikamaru had told me that he is a basketball player back in his school. He said it was the only time he actually stopped being lazy. There are a lot of people here. I knew there were others in this hospital, but I didn't think I would see them all at one time. They all seem tense even though they're enjoying themselves. All the counselors were all standing at the wall talking amongst themselves, glancing around every now and again to make sure everyone was staying occupied.

"Naruto, do you want to get a ball and bounce it around with me and Shika?" Kiba asked excitedly as he leaned over Shikamaru towards me with a large smile. I just barely found the will to shake my head 'no'. His smile left his face and he said it was ok and that I could just watch if I wanted to. They both stood and I watched them walk over to the ball bin. Kiba picked out a ball and right away began bouncing it back and forth with Shikamaru. He laughed and even Shikamaru cracked a smile. It looked fun. A lot of things looked like fun.

Sai looked fun. He liked touching. It was no crime to want to be touched. I wanted to be touched. I knew there were bad things swimming around in my head. They were making me tired and nearly dead. I wanted to be distracted. I wanted something that made me happy. Touching made me happy. As long as I was the one who asked for it, then it was ok. I wanted to ask him. Flaunt what I had, what I knew he liked. Make him fall in love with me for a few minutes. Be happy with another person for a little while. Pretend that I am not disgusting. He liked Kiba though. He only wanted Kiba, that was clear by the way that Sai always looked at him. Lust with a slight undertone of affection. Sasuke said that Sai liked sex. I would give him what he wanted. He could pretend I was Kiba if that's what it took.

Nothing else would matter.

My once heavy legs began to move on their own, tingling slightly. I stood off balance at first, then quickly steadied. I started to scan the crowded room looking for him. I wasn't thinking at all about what he would say or what he would think, what would happen if he said yes. I really didn't care. There was no stopping me. I was on auto-pilot. Before I knew it I was standing in front of him completely interfering with the basketball game. I just stared at him first whispering to my own mind telling it to flip the switch so I didn't do anything stupid. He stared back. His eyes were a sharp black, slightly darker that Sasuke's. "What's up?" He said as he passed the ball he was holding to another player, devoting all his attention to me.

I didn't know how to ask for what I wanted. I bit my lip hard, letting the pain sink in. I kept telling myself to just say it. Let the words out. I looked around us to make sure the others he was playing with were concentrated on the game. "Are you alright, Naruto?" He asked. I nodded and leaned in closer to whisper in his ear. I didn't look at him to see his reaction, but I could feel his eyes on me. "Come on." His hand whirled into mine and we walked slowly to the door. The counselors that were guarding that door were watching one of the games. Sai kept a keen eye on them while we slipped out. He walked a head of me, his hand still firmly latched onto mine. My mind went blank after we went into the closet where I had hidden before.

**Sasuke's POV**

"W-what the hell was that?" I shouted staring at the door where Naruto and Sai had just exited through. Gaara looked slightly shocked himself. "Surprised they got through the door so easily, seems rather unlikely." I shot a glare at him. "Naruto just left with the fucking sex fiend of the crazy people and them getting through the fucking door is the only thing you're thinking about?" He shrugged. "Don't start jumping to conclusions, Sasuke. Maybe they just went to get a drink of water or something." My faith in Gaara being one of the smartest people I knew completely blew up when he that. I was about to head for the door when he pulled me back. "Don't get involved now."

"Why the hell not? Naruto is fucking unstable and that pervert just sneaked out of the damn gym. Someone should get involved!"

"Maybe you weren't paying attention. Naruto approached Sai first. If that is what they are doing, then Naruto wants it. Just let it go." I shook my arm free of his grasp and charged for the door. I had my hand on the door, but as my luck would have it, Iruka spotted me. "Sasuke, do you need something?" I looked over my shoulder at him, trying to think quick. "Um, I really have to go to the bathroom." He squinted slightly trying to figure out if I was planning to do something bad. "Alright, go ahead, but come straight back. If you aren't back in five minutes I'll be coming to get you, ok?" I smiled and pushed the door open and stepped out. The sudden silence of the dark hallway startled me. I don't know why I had the urge to just find Sai and beat the fuck out of him, but that is all I could think about.

I knew there was something wrong with Naruto. If he was alone with Sai something was bound to happen. I wasn't sure if I could handle the idea of Sai being able to take Naruto like that. I had already come to terms with the fact that after just a week I had somehow fallen in love with that blonde weirdo, so all of this was making me slightly on edge. I turned the corner out of the darker hallway and found myself in the long stretch hallway that lead back to the adolescent unit. I heard a bang that made me jump. A closet door rattled from the center of the hall and I simply froze. I waited a few moments hoping that one of the janitors came out pulling a mop bucket or something, but it didn't happen. Just a few more bangs on the door.

I walked closer, clenching my fists tight getting ready to rip that door open and snap Sai's neck. I was right in front of the door, my hand right on the nob, but I couldn't pull it open. I could hear them. More so, I could hear Naruto. Breathing heavy, a few whimpers happening in sync with the rough bangs the door made. Cold chills went up and down my back with each moan as they seemed to be coming faster from the lips of the blonde I loved. I rested my head on the door, listening intently to the sweet sounds that seeped through. The vibrations of the door gave a relaxing sensation. I could get high off of just this alone.

I knew Sai was the one making Naruto sound like this. He was the one who got to feel his flesh, maybe even kiss those sweet lips. Even though I was in heaven listening to Naruto, I was in Hell knowing I wasn't on the other side of that door. It was what I deserved then. I treated Naruto like shit. I couldn't just be a man and settle with my feelings, face my own anger head on and try to control it. He was someone I knew deep down that I needed and I just kept pushing him away. I needed to tell him how I felt. It wasn't like we were going to be in that hospital forever. Eventually one of us would leave, and the chances of use ever seeing each other again was very slim. I just wanted him to know. I wanted to explain to him why I was mean. I wanted him to explain to me why he was acting weird, why he cried, why he tried to hurt himself. I want him to trust me.

"Sasuke?"

I jumped accidentally hitting my arm on the door when I turned to look at Iruka. The other side of the door became silent and eerily calm as the peppy counselor made his way to me. "Are you alright? You been gone a little while." I had to separate my mind from everything I was thinking, forget about what beastly act was taking place two feet away from me. "I-I'm fine. I just had a headache. I had to get out of the gym for a bit. It's kind of loud in there." Iruka smiled and placed his hand on my back and started to guide me back to the gym. "Yeah, it is pretty loud in there. Don't worry, we'll be heading back to the unit in about twenty minutes. Just sit down with Gaara, it must be nice for you two to be able to talk again. "Yeah." I nodded. As we rounded the corner I looked over Iruka's arm to look back at the closet. He saw me. Naruto was peaking out of the door, his naked chest heaving gently as his eyes sliced right through me.

_**AHHHH! Merry Christmas! … or Happy Holidays! … and Happy Almost New Year!**_

_**Review and comment please!**_

_**Many kisses!**_


	10. Down

Reason for lateness shortness at the end.

_**White Walls**_

_Chapter 10_:

**Down**

**Naruto's POV**

Sex is love.

It may only last for a few minutes, but no matter whom I do it with, or why, in my head I feel like we fall in love. It isn't real love, but it still feels good. His hands ran over my flesh slowly while he kissed me gently. I closed my eyes trying to ignore the fact that we were in a closet. I was warm and cold at the same time. He asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this, and with my eyes still closed I simply nodded against his shoulder. He hoisted my bare legs to his sides and we settled against the door. I tightened my grip around his shoulders while the familiar pain shot through my lower back.

I relaxed and let him do what made him feel good while I lost myself in the feeling of being held by another person. My voice would change as the pace of my breath quickened and moans escaped my throat. My body was being thrust against the door of the closet continuously causing a slight pain in my back.

We were both yanked from our blissful moment when we heard Iruka's voice, then a knock on the door. Silently, Sai and I were hoping that no one was going to open the door and find us. Then I heard Sasuke. He was right on the other side of the door. I immediately felt sick to my stomach and wanted nothing more than to get Sai as far away from me as possible. "Let me go." I whispered into Sai's ear. He sighed deeply and released me and began to put on his clothes while I turned towards the door and laid my ear against it listening to see if anyone was still out there.

I could still hear Sasuke talking to Iruka, but it was further away. I turned the nob slowly and opened the door, peeking out just in time to catch Sasuke's eye as he turned the corner with Iruka. I swallowed hard as the sick feeling in my stomach got worse. "Close the door before someone sees you." Sai said. I did. I turned to look at him and he handed me my clothes. "Was that Sasuke?" I nodded. I slipped my pants on, then my shirt. "Um, do you want me to finish you off?" I asked. He shook his head. "Nah, I went limp when I thought we were busted. Thanks though."

He left first, not even giving me a second glance. I stared at the door as it slowly shut, letting the sudden darkness swallow me up while I just stood there. What did I just do? I kept asking myself over and over. I felt the love, warm and fuzzy, flowing through me just a second ago, but it was just cold spinal chills now. I collected myself, breathing out the thoughts and filling my mind with happy memories.

I reached for the door handle, leaving my hand to just rest on the surface of the cold metal. The happy memories drained out quickly and I just felt empty again like I was before I went to Sai. Like a zombie I swayed slightly with my feet planted. An uneasy hollowness settled just below my ribcage and my mouth watered with a sickening sweetness. My breathing quickened and my face heated up.

Before I could run out of the closet, I was bent over dry heaving until what little contents I had in my stomach was let out into a mop bucket. Hot tears streamed down my face and my throat burned. I wiped my face vigorously with the bottom of my shirt and sobbed hard. I shook my head trying to will away the tears. I don't want anyone to worry.

I inhaled deeply, holding my breath for a few seconds before I forced myself through the door. The air in the hallway seemed cooler than in the closet. I shivered. I walked slowly back to the gym, following the echoing sound of random screams and squeaks. I pushed the heavy wooden door open to peak through to make sure none of the councilors would see me. I stepped in quickly and headed towards Kiba and Shikamaru who remained sitting against the furthest wall.

My eyes stayed on them while everything else seemed to blur. It was like they were a million miles away. I just wanted to sit down, I felt tired, and I was getting a headache. "Naruto!" I heard Kiba yell with his usual big smile. "Where'd you go?" I tried to answer, but I was too tired to make words. When I finally made it over to them I collapsed onto the cold floor. "What the hell happened to you?" Shikamaru asked. I just shook my head slowly and laid down, curling up against Kiba with my head resting on his thigh.

I closed my eyes waiting for the echoing screams and squeaks to become white noise. I could feel Kiba run his finger through my hair slowly like my mom did when I was little. "It's ok, you don't have to be sad." He whispered. "You can dream of happy things for a while."

**Sasuke's POV**

"He is nothing but a big pile of shit, I swear! What kind of guy takes advantage of someone like that? Huh? They are having sex! What the fuck?" Needless to say I was furious. Well, maybe not furious, more like I was confused. I had no idea what the hell I was feeling. I wanted to beat the hell out of Sai, hug Naruto and do whatever I could to make him smile, and hide in my room so I could get away from it all, all at the same time. Gaara could tell that I was in a state of chaos and was trying his best –in his own special way- to bring me back down to reality.

"Ok, it is probably going to piss you off to hear me say this, but I really don't get it. You need to figure out what the hell you want to do. Do you want to get close to Naruto or are you too scared of hurting him?" He stared at me intently and I bit the inside of my cheek trying to hold back another rant I felt the urge to express. I had to think about it. Having to think about it at all should have been an answer in itself, but I wanted to say that I had already claimed Naruto. He was mine and Sai should die for even thinking of laying a hand on him, but then I think about what I could do to Naruto. I could break him if he ever made me mad. I already have.

"I want him but-"

I saw the blonde that was currently overtaking my brain slip into the gym. I completely forgot about my conversation with Gaara while I watched him stagger slowly towards Kiba and Shikamaru. His eyes were red and puffy, he looked pale. The way his eyes seemed like hollow sockets made me worry more. "Damn. Sai must be pretty rough. That kid looked worn out." I shot a glare at Gaara. "Shut the fuck up." I watched Naruto as he collapsed in front of Kiba and crawled into his lap. Kiba stroked his blonde hair and for a second he seemed at peace, his inner turmoil settling for a moment before tears fell slowly from his eyes, falling onto Kiba's pants. He closed his eyes and seemed to have fallen asleep.

"You know, if you're that worried about him, why don't you just tell Iruka or Kakashi. You know, the people who are paid to deal with it." I didn't respond. Iruka and Kakashi already knew Naruto had issues, if I told them anything it would be like telling someone that the sky is blue. It's common knowledge.

"Adolescent Block! Block 1, line up, please!" Iruka yelled, waving his hand around trying to get everyone's attention. I heard Gaara sigh deeply. "Well, I guess I'll see you in another two weeks or so. Unless one of us gets sent home or, you know, dies or something." I nodded with a slight smile, then headed for the door where Kakashi was standing. He smiled at me before turning his attention back to where Iruka was.

The brunette man was over with Kiba and Shikamaru. It seemed like they couldn't get Naruto to wake up. Kiba kept poking the blonde's head trying to stir him, while Shika stood over them. After it was obvious that Naruto was out cold Iruka just lifted the unconscious boy into his arms and began walking towards us. "Humph, I guess Naruto must be tired." I turned to my right to see Sai's smirking face. My heart started pounding, my hands were shaking. I wanted to break his neck. Tear him apart.

Before I could lift my fist I was distracted by Iruka's voice. "I guess this guy wore himself out." He smiled. I heard Sai chuckle deeply, obviously trying to get my attention. I bit deep into my tongue, thinking about puppies and unicorns, anything to stop myself from stomping into Sai's skull. "I think he's sick or something." Shikamaru commented. "Yeah!" Kiba joined in. "He's been acting funny lately." Kakashi and Iruka traded glances. "Should I take him to see Tsunade? It could be his medicine." Kakashi nodded. "Yeah, go ahead. I'll take these guys back."

We headed out. I knew Sai was purposely trying to get to me. He was standing close enough for me to feel his breath on the back of my neck. "So, tell me. Are you jealous?" He whispered, coming around to my side. I glanced at him for just a second. "You need to get the fuck away from me." I said lowly. He chuckled again. "Oh, don't be mad, Sasuke. He's in a weird mood right now. He'd get on his knees for you if you asked nicely." That was it.

In a swift motion, I slammed Sai against the wall, my arm pinning his throat, while my other hand trapped his. "Shut up you fucking piece of shit." I spat. "You say one more fucking thing I swear to god I will slit your fucking throat in your sleep." He tried to push me off, but I wasn't budging. "Jesus Christ." He hissed. "I was just messing around." He coughed.

"Hey!" I jumped back from Sai in a flash when I heard Kakashi's booming voice from further down the hall. "Having problems?" We both shook our heads and began walking slowly after the group. "You need to calm the hell down." He whispered. "I wasn't trying to start anything. Just a little pay back for that punch you gave me." I rolled my eye. "You are disgusting. You took advantage of Naruto and now you're making a joke out of it to get at me. I swear, as soon as I get you alone, I will happily crack your fucking skull. "Hey, I didn't take advantage of him. He came to me first. Plus, he seemed down, how could I refuse him?" I was trying to ignore him. Every time he opened his mouth all I could think about was what was going on behind that closet door.

"If it counts for anything, we didn't get to finish. You and Iruka kind of interrupted us. By the way, what the hell were you doing? Were you trying to sneak a peek?" He laughed. "Shut… the fuck… up."

"Don't worry. You're not missing anything. He's covered in scars. It's kind of a turn off." He smirked. "But he's got the ass of a talented whore." Then, he was down. The urge to murder the cocky low life piece of shit became more than I could handle. One punch, two, three. I almost don't remember exactly what I did. Too much adrenalin pumping, I blacked out.

)()()()()()()()()(

**Hi!**

**So, terribly sorry that this is short and incredibly late, but I have been in the hospital. (Still am at the moment.) Apparently taking you mom's sleeping pill so you can sleep for two days straight counts as a suicide attempt, so I got sent to the crazy people part of the hospital.**

**It is different here than the one I was at before. They don't MAKE me go to the group activities, and I get my laptop for 30 minutes every day so I can write. 10 minutes of internet for good behavior. Blah.**

**Funny story: I was jotting down some things from White Walls in my journal. The therapist (for some reason) looked at it and thought I was writing about my experience at this hospital. She saw some notes about Kiba and she asked me if there were people having sex in the closet. I actually laughed my ass off… but then it got awkward because I had to explain to her that I am just a huge perv who likes the idea of two boys getting it on in a closet. She was like "… Oh, ok." XD**


	11. Cold, Part 1

_**White Walls**_

_**Chapter 11 (part 1):**_

_**Cold**_

Sasuke's POV

The air gets thick and it feels like I'm falling backwards when I get like this. One out of three times I try to get mad on purpose. It's like getting high in the most fucked up way possible. It's probably what serial killers feel when they hurt people, just high as a fucking kite.

Coming back is the hardest part. All my blood goes cold and I feel tired, yet satisfied. I am a disgusting excuse for a human being, finding comfort in hurting other people that I care about. Even looking into their eyes as they become scared and disoriented is like drinking a bottle of vodka: Soothing, but makes you sick in the end.

"Sasuke!" Their voices pierce through the nonsense and seep through the bullshit every time. They wanted to pull me out and try to set me straight before I actually managed to kill Sai. They knew I could. I knew I could. "Get off of him, Sasuke!" Why can't I stop?

'I need to think for a few second. What am I doing?'

I tried to let my eyes roam past the dark eyes that nearly matched mine, look at the bigger picture. What was happening? What was I causing? Sai's mouth was straining to open for breath as my hands lay firmly around his throat. My nails were digging in so hard that I could feel the skin pop on my fingertips. I was trying to kill him, or at least squeeze the bastard out of him.

'You don't kill people. Don't let him die.'

Kakashi had is arms completely wrapped around my waist, trying to pull me off while Iruka worked desperately to pull my hands away from Sai's neck. In a matter of seconds I felt the cold feeling run through my body starting at my shoulder blades and falling to my hands. I let go of his neck. Kakashi immediately yanked me away from the hacking Sai and all I could think about was what he did to Naruto. What he said to me.

"What the hell were you trying to do?" I heard Iruka scream. Slowly my full conscience came back and I looked around. Kiba was crying behind Shikamaru. I glanced further down the dark hallway to see Naruto sitting on the floor where Iruka must have sat him down when he came to assist Kakashi. His eyes were still dull and lifeless, but the blue pierced through the darkness and let me know his eyes were on me.

"Get him out of here, Kakashi!" Without a second to take another breath he began dragging me down the hall. I didn't even think of struggling, I just kept my eyes on his small frame. He looked so frail sitting there. Why did he have to pick Sai? Naruto's eyes were following me all the way down the hall until we stepped right before him. He looked away immediately, down casting his gaze to the floor. Maybe he gets it now.

Normal POV

"What are they planning to do with him?" Iruka asked as he leaned against the door to the infirmary. I heard Tsunade sigh and her heels tap against the floor as she walked across the floor. "I don't know. Sending upstairs wouldn't solve anything. He's a whole different kind of head case. I wouldn't be surprised if they sent him upstate."

"Upstate? Isn't that a bit drastic? He has anger issues, it's not like he murdered anyone." Iruka defended. "The doctors here don't really care. If the patient refuses to participate in the programs here and just aren't making any progress, they have to leave. It's just how the system works here."

"Damn. I was sure he was on the verge of opening up. He participated in a group activity with Naruto, and he talked a bit too. Usually he was dead weight."

"Well, maybe he'll get better treatment somewhere else. He can't stay here."

I bit the inside of my cheek while I continued to play dead on the bed in the corner. My head still felt blurry, but was clearing with every word I heard. They were going to make Sasuke leave because he went after Sai. He went after Sai because of what happened in the closet. He had seen me there with Sai, heard what we were doing. He was so disgusted with what we did that he had to beat Sai.

When Kakashi and Sasuke walked past, Sasuke looked at me. He probably wished that he could throw a few punches at me too. He thought I was disgusting.

"Ok." Tsunade sighed again. "Naruto should be fine. He just needs to sleep. If he wakes up take him back to his room." I couldn't hear Iruka say anything, but the sound of the woman's heels clicking echoed through the room as she left. Iruka was walking around shuffling through things, moving papers from the counter.

I didn't want Sasuke to get in trouble. I didn't want him to have to leave. I knew Sasuke was a good guy. That night when I tried to hurt myself he stopped me and helped me, made me feel better. He needed to stay there and get help so he could be that kind of guy all the time.

"Iruka?" I sat up slowly and turned my head towards the man who was now sitting in a chair near the counter looking through a folder. The room was dark, the only light coming from the hallway. "Oh, Naruto. Are you feeling alright?"

"You can't let them send Sasuke away. It wasn't his fault." He walked over to the bed and looked down at me with a small smile. "You don't have to worry about him, he'll be better off somewhere else if they decide to send-"

"No!" I yelled. "I'll leave instead, ok? I'll go home and Sasuke can stay." He placed his hand on my shoulder. "Why do you think you need to leave?" My eyes started to feel warm and I was sure I was going to turn into a wining mess. "It's my fault he got upset! He saw me with Sai. It made him mad; he thinks I'm disgusting, ok? Send me away, not him."

"What were you doing that makes you think that he thinks that you're disgusting?" I didn't say anything, I didn't want to. Saying it out loud would almost be like a confirmation that I was a nasty slut finding love in some random closet. He truly was a mind reader. As he stared at me I could see him scanning my expressions, the thoughts floating in my brain. His eyes shifted away from my face and I knew he figured it out. He sighed quietly. "Naruto, you know you aren't allowed to do stuff like that here, right?"

Still, I stayed silent with my now fully conscience mind sifting through all the bullshit that I was causing myself. "Look," Iruka said. "Kakashi should be talking to Sasuke right now, so when he's done we can discuss this, along with Sai. For tonight, you can stay here." He left.

I would really like to understand how the fuck I ever got to that point. I want to understand why I couldn't just pick myself up and walk away from all the bullshit and be normal. I didn't have to be in that damn hospital. I just needed to be reminded that I was going to be ok and that the past has passed. It would all just be up hill from there.

Sasuke's POV

"You're screwed. They're going to get kick you out of the program." Kakashi spoke sternly, leaning over towards me with his hands on the table. I laid my head down against my folded arms listening to the slight sound of my breath flowing through my lips. "Good." I hissed. I could feel his gaze harden with anger. I lifted my head and saw his hands were balled into quivering fists preparing to pound through the table.

"Don't you want to get better?" He asked. "Don't you want to be able to be with your family and make friends and just be normal?"

"What the fuck does normal mean, Kakashi? Huh? What exactly do I have to change about my entire existence to satisfy you and everyone else? Please, for the love of fuck, tell me!"

Annoyance? Anger? Shame? Guilt? I couldn't, at the time, figure out what I was feeling. A combination of all four or something. I wanted to leave the room. It was like it was spinning all around and I was chained up to the walls. I hated when it got real like that. I didn't want to have to care about anyone else.

)()()()()

**Hi. I told myself I would have this finished by the 15th, but that shit aint flying with me at the moment. Tumblr and it's oh so wonderful Larry Stylinson tag has had me a bit preoccupied lately. -_-;**

**You know how Tumblr is.**

**I'll have part 2 eventually. Maybe. If shit goes down on Tumblr again… I don't know.**

**Peace!**


	12. Let's Get Better

_Hello, lovelies!_

_I know it's been a while since I updated this, and I know a lot of you have been looking forward to this chapter and to everyone sending me messages reminding me to get it done, thank you! You guys are awesome and you keep me motivated. Also, this is the last chapter, so I hope you enjoy._

_And make sure to read my little note at the end so you know what to expect for upcoming works. _

_Enjoy!_

**White Walls**

Chapter 12:

_Let's Get Better_

Sasuke's POV

The air gets thick and it feels like I'm falling backwards when I get like this. One out of three times I try to get mad on purpose. It's like getting high in the most fucked up way possible. It's probably what serial killers feel when they hurt people, just high as a fucking kite.

Coming back is the hardest part. All my blood goes cold and I feel tired, yet satisfied. I am a disgusting excuse for a human being, finding comfort in hurting other people that I care about. Even looking into their eyes as they become scared and disoriented is like drinking a bottle of vodka: Soothing, but makes you sick in the end.

"Sasuke!" Their voices pierce through the nonsense and seep through the bullshit every time. They wanted to pull me out and try to set me straight before I actually managed to kill Sai. They knew I could. I knew I could. "Get off of him, Sasuke!" Why can't I stop?

'I need to think for a few second. What am I doing?'

I tried to let my eyes roam past the dark eyes that nearly matched mine, look at the bigger picture. What was happening? What was I causing? Sai's mouth was straining to open for breath as my hands lay firmly around his throat. My nails were digging in so hard that I could feel the skin pop on my fingertips. I was trying to kill him, or at least squeeze the bastard out of him.

'You don't kill people. Don't let him die.'

Kakashi had is arms completely wrapped around my waist, trying to pull me off while Iruka worked desperately to pull my hands away from Sai's neck. In a matter of seconds I felt the cold feeling run through my body starting at my shoulder blades and falling to my hands. I let go of his neck. Kakashi immediately yanked me away from the hacking Sai and all I could think about was what he did to Naruto. What he said to me.

"What the hell were you trying to do?!" I heard Iruka scream. Slowly my full conscience came back and I looked around. Kiba was crying behind Shikamaru. I glanced further down the dark hallway to see Naruto sitting on the floor where Iruka must have sat him down when he came to assist Kakashi. His eyes were still dull and lifeless, but the blue pierced through the darkness and let me know his eyes were on me.

"Get him out of here, Kakashi!" Without a second to take another breath he began dragging me down the hall. I didn't even think of struggling, I just kept my eyes on his small frame. He looked so frail sitting there. Why did he have to pick Sai? Naruto's eyes were following me all the way down the hall until we stepped right before him. He looked away immediately, down casting his gaze to the floor. Maybe he gets it now.

Normal POV

"What are they planning to do with him?" Iruka asked as he leaned against the door to the infirmary. I heard Tsunade sigh and her heels tap against the floor as she walked across the floor. "I don't know. Sending him upstairs wouldn't solve anything. He's a whole different kind of head case. I wouldn't be surprised if they sent him to one of the "homes"."

"A home? Isn't that a bit drastic? He has anger issues, it's not like he murdered anyone." Iruka defended. Tsunade through her hands up. "The doctors here don't really care. If the patient refuses to participate in the programs here and just aren't making any progress, they have to leave. It's just how the system."

"Damn it. I was sure he was on the verge of opening up. He participated in a group activity with Naruto, and he talked a bit too. Usually he was dead weight."

"Well, maybe he'll get better treatment somewhere else. He just can't stay here."

I bit the inside of my cheek while I continued to play dead on the bed in the corner. My head still felt blurry, but was clearing with every word I heard. They were going to make Sasuke leave because he went after Sai. He went after Sai because of what happened in the closet. He had seen me there with Sai, heard what we were doing. He was so disgusted with what we did that he had to beat Sai.

When Kakashi and Sasuke walked past, Sasuke looked at me. He probably wished that he could throw a few punches at me too. He thought I was disgusting.

"Ok." Tsunade sighed again. "Naruto should be fine. He just needs to sleep. If he wakes up take him back to his room." I couldn't hear Iruka say anything, but the sound of the woman's heels clicking echoed through the room as she left. Iruka was walking around shuffling through things, moving papers from the counter.

I didn't want Sasuke to get in trouble. I didn't want him to have to leave. I knew Sasuke was a good guy. That night when I tried to hurt myself he stopped me and helped me, made me feel better. He needed to stay there and get help so he could be that kind of guy all the time.

"Iruka?" I sat up slowly and turned my head towards the man who was now sitting in a chair near the counter looking through a folder. The room was dark, the only light coming from the hallway. "Oh, Naruto. Are you feeling alright?"

"You can't let them send Sasuke away. It wasn't his fault." He walked over to the bed and looked down at me with a small smile. "You don't have to worry about him, he'll be better off somewhere else if they decide to send-"

"No!" I yelled. "I'll leave instead, ok? I'll go home and Sasuke can stay." He placed his hand on my shoulder. "Why do you think you need to leave?" My eyes started to feel warm and I was sure I was going to turn into a wining mess. "It's my fault he got upset! He hates me. Send me away, not him."

"Why do you think Sasuke hates you? I know there was a bit of tension between you two in the beginning, but at the group session you two seemed to get along. You guys have trust, remember?" My mind went back to the trust egg experiment. Sasuke had apologized for making me feel bad. He was a good guy, I knew he was he just couldn't show it all the time. We were close to being friends and I ruined it. I made him hate me because I had sex with Sai, the guy who at one time was his friend. "I did something bad with Sai that made Sasuke hurt him." I didn't want to come right out and say exactly what happened. Saying it out loud would almost be like a confirmation that I was a nasty slut finding love in some random closet. As he stared at me I could see him scanning my expressions, the thoughts floating in my brain. His eyes shifted away from my face and I knew he figured it out. He sighed quietly. "Naruto, you know you aren't allowed to do stuff like that here, right?"

Still, I stayed silent with my now fully conscience mind sifting through all the bullshit that I was causing myself. "Look," Iruka said. "Kakashi should be talking to Sasuke right now, so when he's done we can discuss this. For tonight, you can stay here." He left.

I would really like to understand how the fuck I ever got to that point. I want to understand why I couldn't just pick myself up and walk away from all the bullshit and be normal. I didn't have to be in that damn hospital. I just needed to be reminded that I was going to be ok and that the past has passed. It would all just be up hill from there.

Sasuke's POV

"You're screwed. They're going to get kick you out of the program." Kakashi spoke sternly, leaning over towards me with his hands on the table. I laid my head down against my folded arms listening to the slight sound of my breath flowing through my lips. "Good." I hissed. I could feel his gaze harden with anger. I lifted my head and saw his hands were balled into quivering fists preparing to pound through the table.

"Don't you want to get better?" He asked. "Don't you want to be able to be with your family and make friends and just be normal?"

"What the fuck does normal mean, Kakashi?! Huh? What exactly do I have to change about my entire existence to satisfy you and everyone else? Please, for the love of fuck, tell me!"

Annoyance? Anger? Shame? Guilt? I couldn't, at the time, figure out what I was feeling. A combination of all four or something? I wanted to leave the room. It was like it was spinning all around and I was chained up to the walls at the same time. I hated when it got real like that. I didn't want to have to care about anyone else; it just felt like too much. I settled my head back down against my arms and stared into the shadows that were settled on the table.

For a moment, suicide crossed my mind. It was the easiest solution to any problem the world could throw at you. I never really contemplated it before though. A few cuts and burns every now and again, but nothing that would surely send me to my grave. I thought it was for weak people who only wanted the easy way out, not strong enough to stick around to look for a better solution. At that very moment I felt like every ounce of strength I had built up in my body was used up when I had tackled Sai down. I wasted it all in anger over what he did with Naruto. I was turning into one of the weak ones.

I was a hard person and I prided myself on being just that. No love, no pain, no worries. That was what I lived by. If I never loved anyone, then no one would ever love me, and then no one would ever get hurt. I would never hurt anyone. That's how I stayed in control, but one little mishap and there I was fighting with myself in a room with my head down like a coward. There was no point in going on anymore, no reason to fight, why even bother? "What does Naruto have to do with this?"

A jolt went through my body when I heard Kakashi say his name. I didn't have to look up to know that it was Iruka who had come to the door. I didn't hear anything else that was said between the two as they had stepped out into the hall, and also simply because I didn't want to hear anything else. Anything that had to do with Naruto Uzumaki I just didn't want to hear. He was the one who turned me against myself. I still don't understand what it was about Naruto Uzumaki that made me want to be around him so much. I tried convincing myself that it was nothing more than a teenage lust. He was attractive and I having been stuck in this building for a while had just wanted nothing more than to take him and make him my personal cum bag, but that wasn't all I wanted.

I had the urge to talk to him just to find out more about him. I wanted to see him smile. I wanted to be the one who made him smile. There was no doubt in my mind that that boy had to be some sort of other worldly creature, because there was no one on the planet that could break down all the boundaries that I had set up for myself. He was special and I knew we were brought together for a reason, but I was not willing to act on it out of fear that I would get too deep in the foolishness and end up getting hurt or hurting him. I had already hurt him though just to protect myself. I was a selfish coward, the worst of the worst and I deserved nothing better than what I had right there – everyone hated me.

"Well, you should be proud." Kakashi said to me as he entered the room again, shutting the door behind him. He sat down in the chair across from me resting his chin in one palm, staring at me intently. I lifted my head slightly. "What?" I let my head fall back down into my arms. I heard a long sigh escape his mouth and the a few squeaks from the chair as he shifted. "Naruto thinks you beat up Sai because of him and now he is asking to go home so you can stay." My stomach churned and I felt a little more of my energy being drained. Why the hell would he think he had to leave so I could stay?

"You guys told him 'No.', right?" I groaned.

"No. He can leave if he wants. He was supposed to go home the last time his parents were here, but he wanted to stay."

I looked up at Kakashi. "Why the hell would he do that?" I asked. He shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it's the same reason you don't want to leave. He was scared of what would happen when he left. He told his parents something very important while they were here. Something that I'm sure took a lot of courage."

"What did he tell them?"

"Now you know I can't answer that. Patient confidentiality and all that."

"You don't have to tell me. I kind of already know. Someone hurt him, right? When he was younger?" I always studied people and I could tell that his issues were deep rooted. Any kind of breakdown that he had had was definitely something that was long awaited and sure to come. Kakashi nodded. "It would seem so." I nodded back and put my chin on my folded arms and stared at the table. It wasn't that hard to figure out what exactly had happened to Naruto. The way he was hesitant to take off his shirt in the laundry room, and the way he covered himself up mad it obvious. He wasn't just trying to hide his arms anymore, he was trying to hide himself completely, like he knew what it was like he was afraid I was going to do something to him. It had happened before and it made him scared of everyone.

The fact that he was able to do that with Sai of all people made me think that it happened when he was really young. He felt like that was all he was good for. It still made me mad that it wasn't me. Why Sai? I was the one who helped him and stopped him from hurting himself. I know that I had hurt him too, but… I don't know. I was just mad that it wasn't me. "So, are you going to tell me why Naruto would think it's his fault that you beat the hell out of Sai?" I only shrugged. "He didn't do anything, I don't know why that idiot would think he did something."

"He told Iruka that you saw him and Sai doing something that they really shouldn't have been doing so you beat up Sai, and he's sure that you probably wanted to beat him up too because you thought he was disgusting." My eyes closed and all I wanted to do was walk out, find a room, go to sleep, and ignore everything. "I don't think he's disgusting." I said quietly. "He didn't do anything wrong, he should stay and I should go. He's actually trying to get help here. I'm just a waste of time. Tell him that."

"You know what I think," The tone in his voice told me that he was going make me listen to a lot of things that I really didn't want to hear. "I think that you like Naruto. Even though you insult him a lot, he is one of the people that you talked to the most. You never participated in group until he came along, and you stopped him from hurting himself and helped him wash his shirt so that he wouldn't get in trouble."

"How the hell did you know about that?" I asked setting up slightly.

"There are cameras all over, including the hallways and laundry room." He raised his eyebrows at me. "All equipped with microphones. No one can get away with much around here." I rolled my eyes, my mind immediately going to Sai and Kiba. How the hell was it even possible that Sai was able to get away with going to Kiba's room. "He was new. I didn't want there to be any drama his first week."

"Because you like him."

"I don't like him like that."

"Ok. Then why did you beat up Sai?" I didn't answer. "Look, you and I both know that you are going to be shipped away as soon as the sun rises in the morning, so what's the point of holding everything in now. Anything you tell me now won't matter. This isn't a session, I don't have to write anything down and I don't have to put it in your file. Feel free to vent."

Mentally I shrugged at the suggestion. What would it hurt to tell him everything? A few more moments of weakness in front of someone that I wouldn't see ever again, it really wouldn't have mattered. "He's too nice." I say hiding my face back into my arms. "Even when I was mean to him he still tried to talk to me. He even apologized once for mocking me in group therapy after I was rude to him. I don't get it. I wanted to talk to him more, which I did, but I was… well, I guess I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Hurting him… getting hurt."

"But you have hurt him, you're mean to him."

"I know!" I shot up. "That's what's so fucked up! I don't want to hurt him, but I know if I don't he could hurt me! Anyone could! I have to hurt them before they hurt me…" I sat back in my chair, slumping my shoulders as it had felt like one-hundred pounds of pressure had been lifted from my body.

Kakashi stood up, a smile settled on his lips. "Well then, it would seem you had your breakthrough. Too bad it wasn't in a session, I probably would have gotten a raise for cracking you." He chuckled. "Are you going to stay in here for the night, or should I get you a room upstairs?"

"Might as well."

When he left the room I had to ask myself a few times if that had really just happened. It was a weird feeling. I had said it out loud why I was the way I was, but it still didn't sink into my own mind. I still felt the need to be isolated and push them away. I was still afraid of someone getting in and using what they knew about me to take me down. I just couldn't trust people. Even when Kakashi had said nothing I said would pretty much be blown over, I still wanted to take it all back. There would always be two sides to my brain.

Naruto's POV

The next day…

Iruka had called my parents and they were already on their way. I would be going home, and I had hoped that Sasuke would be able to stay and get the help he needed without me messing it up for him. I had slept in the infirmary and was brought down for lunch by Kakashi after I had a session with Iruka. I sat with Shikamaru and Kiba. I told them that I would be going home and immediately Kiba jumped on me, cheering, but then settled down and told me that he would miss me. Shikamaru congratulated me and told me to never get shut up in a place like this again. Then it all went back to normal. We talked and laughed every now and again, but I would get distracted when I would glance around the living room and couldn't see Sasuke. I wanted to see him at least once before I left so that I could say sorry. I had gotten him in trouble.

I needed to clear off everything that was turning in my head, and Sasuke was one of them. I wanted to start new when I left the hospital and I knew it wouldn't be that easy if I was constantly thinking about how I almost deprived someone of their needed therapy because I was a disgusting whore. I bit my tongue when the words 'disgusting whore' crossed my mind. I wasn't supposed to think like that. Iruka and I had talked before lunch and we discussed how I was going to cope while on the outside. I told him my biggest fear was that it would go back to the way it was, but ten times worst because of what I finally confessed. There was no doubt that there would be questions that they had, and surely there would be yelling. It terrified me that I would end up right back in the hospital again, but Iruka told me to stay strong and talk to them. He said that I didn't have to talk to them right away, I could wait until we went to the out-patient therapy and speak in a controlled environment. He assured me that it could only get better from that point on. Even though it kind of just fell out of me, the fact that I told them what had happened was a big step, a step that some people could never take.

When lunch was over we were sent back to the living room and I immediately went to my room to pack. I stuffed my stuff in the large paper bags that Kakashi gave to me to replace the duffle bag that I wasn't allowed to keep here. When I was done I sat down on the bed and looked around the room. I had only been there for a little over a week and this had been my home. It was weird how at that moment it seemed so small, the white walls were so opaque it was unreal. A chill went through my body and I sighed. I felt different. My head felt clearer and that annoying voice that was settled into my brain was quieter than usual, only speaking in whispers, but I could ignore it. Nothing it said was relevant.

"Hey, there." I glanced over at the door way and saw Sai standing there. He had a large bruise cascading from . Immediately I just wanted him to go away, but then I thought about all the other guys I had been with before just because I was looking for hallow love. "Hi." I stood up and walked over and leaned against the door. I had no idea what I was going to say, or what he was going to say. "I heard you were heading home." He stared deep into my eyes. "I got Iruka to let me come back so I could say goodbye. He also suggested, well, more like demanded that I apologize to you for what we did in the closet, but let's be real, we both enjoyed that didn't we?" He lifted his hand and rested it on my waist, squeezing slightly. My head fogged up and it shot me right back to the feeling of being scared, the urge to just sit there and let him do what he wants, but then I looked behind him. I saw Shikamaru and Kiba sitting on the couch, Sakura and Ino sitting at the game table talking, Iruka and Kakashi standing by the nurse's station. I wasn't alone.

Sai couldn't do anything to me. I pushed myself off the door frame slipped out of his grip. "Don't touch me." I said. He smirked and folded his arms. "Oh, now that's not what you said yesterday." It was like he was trying to push me down into the dirt. Like one of the monsters who terrified me as a kid had taken over his body and were trying to take control again. "I… I wasn't… ok then. You could see that, couldn't you?" I asked trying to keep my eyes on the people behind Sai. "I guess so. You were like a zombie."

"Then why did you let it happen? You knew I wasn't in my right mind, so-"

"No one is in their right mind here, Naruto, but I don't really care. I've got to jump on tail whenever I get the chance, and you offered it up like a submissive bitch."

I had to breathe. That's what I kept telling myself. They were just words that shouldn't mean anything to me. They simply define a part of me that I was trying to shut down, they didn't matter. "I know, and I regret it."

"Well, isn't that nice. That's just fine with me, I still have Kiba." He nodded in the direction of where Kiba was sitting. I scoffed. "You don't have him. He doesn't even know that it's you who is fucking him, which is just fucked up." For a second, the look of shock spread over his face, but quickly died down. "So I guess you and Sasuke had some good chats, huh? Did he tell you anything else?" I didn't answer, just keeping my eyes hard, hoping that he would just get on with whatever else he planned to taunt me with and leave. "Or maybe he stayed gutless and kept telling himself that he didn't like you." I looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

"Sai, let's get going." I heard Iruka call from across the room. He turned and nodded, then looked back at me. "I guess I should go. Our little romp in the closet got me sent to the third floor, right down the hall from Sasuke, don't you know."

"Sasuke's on the third floor?" Sai nodded and turned to leave. I watched him walk over across the room, glancing once at Kiba with a sad look in his eyes. I didn't know if he was just going to miss being able to have sex with Kiba, or if he really did like him and was going to miss Kiba all together. Iruka put his hand on Sai's shoulder and began leading him through the hall towards the locked doors. My thoughts went back to Sasuke. If he was on the third floor then I wouldn't be able to see him before I left.

Sasuke's POV

I was stuck in the waiting room of the hospital's psychiatric ward with two brown paper bags filled with clothes that I had brought when I had first come to this place. I glanced over at the receptionist, her eyes shifting back and forth between her computer screen and her key board. She didn't even know I was here. The entrance doors swung open as one of the doctors came rushing in. A swift, cool breeze swept over the room and I breathed in deeply. The scent of oncoming rain filled my lungs. After being stuck in hospital for so long fresh air was like finding gold. I sat back in the chair and closed my eyes trying to clear my mind. I had another forty-five minutes before the transfer ride would get there and then it would be off to the asylum with me. To be honest, I was nervous. While I was on the third floor Gaara had told me that the place they were sending me was harsh. He had never been there, but apparently some of the guys on the floor had been there. I was sure that it was nothing that I couldn't handle, but a new place meant starting over.

I was worried that starting over meant that nothing would ever change. I would be waged in a constant battle in my head for the rest of my life. I would always be telling myself to trust people, but as soon as I do I would try to hurt them before they hurt me, before I hurt them before they hurt me. It was ridiculous, but that's what it was. That's all it ever was.

There was a small part of me telling me to just think about what it would be like two weeks from now, or two years from now. All that shit would be behind me and everything would be better, is what I was hoping for. I just needed reassurance that I wouldn't just spontaneously combust before I ever felt happy again.

The time seemed to slow down with every tick of the clock. I chewed on the skin of my knuckles and closed my eyes hoping I would fall asleep, leaving the nerves to disappear. The sounds of the receptionist typing on her keyboard filled the air, followed by the soft shuffling of shoes against the tiled floors. "Sasuke?"

My eyes shot open at the familiar voice that sounded itself right next to me. I looked up to see a confused pair of blue eyes. I sat up quickly, blinking a few times, thinking that he was simply a projected image created by my mind. "What are you doing out here?" He asked as he set down two large paper bags that were filled with his clothes. I settled myself back into the seat and sighed out slowly. "I'm heading out. They're sending me to a different hospital." He seemed shocked as his brow furrowed and his lips parted slightly. "What? No, you can't be leaving. I told Iruka that I would leave. I'm so sorry, Sasuke. I swear, I didn't mean for you to get kicked out. I'm sorry!"

"Whoa, whoa." I stood up and walked over to him looking him right in the eye. "It's not your fault they're sending me to a different hospital. It's mine. I screwed up one too many times. It has nothing to do with you."

"But if I hadn't…" He stopped and his eyes went to the ground. He dropped gripped his hand over his wrist and bit his lip like his nerves were getting the better of him. Suddenly, he dropped into the chair behind him and covered his face with his hands. I sat back in my seat as well and just looked at him. He wasn't crying, he was just hiding his face like he just didn't want to be in existence at that moment.

I swallowed hard. "You know, I don't think you're disgusting." Naruto spread his fingers so that his blue eyes peaked out between them. "What?" He asked, muffled by his hands. "Kakashi said that you thought, that I thought you were disgusting because of what you did with Sai. Well, I don't and I wasn't planning on beating you up either. Sai… he just kept running his mouth… and to be honest, I was kind of jealous."

"You were jealous?" He dropped his hands to his lap and looked at me full on. I felt my stomach tighten and I had the sudden urge to get up and walk away, or call him an idiot, anything to get the intensity out of his eyes, but I couldn't do any of that. I knew that was my last chance to talk to him and most likely we would never see each other again, therefore I just wanted to be honest. Like Kakashi said, it didn't matter now. I should just let it out. "Yeah… I was."

"So, you like Sai? How could you like Sai? He's a total fucking asshole! Just look at what he was doing to Kiba!"

"No! I don't like Sai, you dumbass! I like you!" I yelled rolling my eyes at the blonde's stupidity. I scowled at the ground for a second debating on whether or not I should look back up to see his reaction to my little confession. "You like me?" I heard him mumble. I looked up and I almost had the urge to laugh at the dumbfounded look on his face. "Yeah, I do. A lot more than I should."

"Since when?" He shot back instantly.

I had to think for a second. When did I start liking him? "I don't know. It just sort of happened."

"But… no, you hate me. You know I'm bad and that's why you were mean to me." He said, seemingly trying to convince himself that that was the only truth. "No." I said leaning forward, catching his eyes and holding them with mine. "You're not bad, I'm bad. I was being mean to you because I didn't want to like you. I thought that if you fought back, then that would make me hate you, but even when you did, I just liked you more. Long story short, I'm the biggest idiot on the face of the earth with trust issue who has a need to push people away… and I like you a lot."

He chewed on his lip and stared at me with slightly widened eyes. I just wanted to smack him upside the head, make him say something. I let out a long breath as it dawned on me that I was surely about to be rejected by some guy I had only known a couple of weeks in a damn mental hospital. What a life.

Naruto released his bottom lip from his teeth and readied myself for a fire of insults of confirmation that I had fucked up any chances with him when I stole his juice box.

"Do you want to fuck me?"

I winced at the sudden question. "What?" I choked out. His eyes were serious as he stared me down. He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head slightly. "People don't just change like that. You can't go from hating me to liking me so suddenly." He said raising his fist to his mouth and nibbling on the skin that laid over his knuckle. "You saw me and Sai. You know I'm a slut. You don't have to lie and tell me you like me just to get somewhere. If you want to do something with me we should do it fast, my mom and dad will be here soon."

"What the hell are you talking about? I don't want do anything like that I just-"

"Then why would you say stuff like that?"

I could see his eyes starting to dim into a blank stare as though he was falling back into his head where all these accusations were churned from. I wondered for the millionth time since I had known that blonde boy what the hell was going on in his head. What kind of fucked up shit was he making up in there to make someone saying they like him seem like an angled lie. "I just like you." I mumbled lowly, but it seemed to echo through the room. "I really don't expect you to believe me. I've treated you like trash since you got here. If you think I'm lying or you just don't trust me, then… I don't know."

I rubbed my temples and squeezed my eyes shut regretting even responding to him when he had made his appearance in the waiting room. I glanced up at the clock on the wall. Still had a while before the transportation got there. Silence was spreading over the room in an awkward haze, even the receptionist had stopped tapping at her keyboard and had disappeared.

Naruto's POV

At a moment like that, where I was mentally caused me to blank out on every word that left Sasuke's mouth. 'I like you' were words I only heard from guys who wanted to have sex with me. I couldn't trust those words, especially when they came from someone who I had thought despised me with every ounce of his being. I watched him as he grinded his fingertips into the side of his skull and looked around the room. I couldn't help but think about what he had done for me when I tried to hurt myself that night. He stepped in and even made sure that I wouldn't get in trouble, then the couple of times that he had apologized to me. He had said sorry more than once and with what he said it made me think maybe he was telling the truth. We were in a mental hospital for god's sake, not everything was going to be so black and white.

Things were different in there, the people were different, and the air around us was different. We were all alone together. It was like a whole other world held together by linked white walls that had the ability to suck the sanity out of us and send it right back.

I told myself to focus. The paranoia that was creeping into my brain again that made me question Sasuke's intentions was something I needed to wash away. All the guys who had used me and the one monster that hurt me the most were not there with me in that waiting room, Sasuke was. He was sitting there with a bold confession lingering about like a ten ton weight. He said he had trouble trusting people. Being able to say he liked me was probably a big leap of faith and I had ruined it.

"Sasuke." I said grabbing his attention from the far wall to the left of us. His eyes darted towards me and I had hoped that the right words would find their way to my brain. I wanted to tell him that I liked him too, that he made my stomach flutter and my face burn when he talked to me, but I couldn't. I was a kid with issues that I couldn't wrap my head around. I wanted that kind of closeness to someone, being able to say I like someone and they like me too, just the same, but when it was actually laid out in front of me it scared me to death. I had been lied to, cheated on, broken down, and just all around fucked with since I was little. Everyone had an angle.

Sasuke wasn't everyone, he was Sasuke, someone who was broken too. We were the same. We had been in different situations, but we had the same problems. The thought of letting other people into our worlds terrified us. Neither of us wanted to be hurt. "I like you too," I said, immediately feeling my stomach tighten and I thought if I took the time to swallow, I would vomit. He blinked his eyes and I could tell that he was trying to read me, the way Iruka did when I had first gotten there. ",and it's a 'like', like a tummy flutter blushing 'like'." I stared down at the ground waiting for him to start laughing, telling me that it was a joke and that he couldn't believe that I fell for it.

"Well then," He said with a sigh. "What do you want to do?"

I looked back up at him. He changed his position so that he was leaning with his elbows rested on his knees, almost like he was proposing a business deal, but I could hear a hint of nervousness in his voice. "I mean," He continued. "We don't know each other, not well enough to make some sort of commitment, and even if we did, it would be useless. This could be the last time we ever see each other."

A light flashed through the large windows as a familiar car pulled through the lot and stopped in front of the hospital. Sasuke and I both stared at it like it just ran over our conversation. "That for you?" Sasuke asked. I nodded as I recognized my mother and father in the front seat. I stood up and Sasuke did the same mirroring my movement, but he didn't take his eyes off me. "We should just leave it at this shouldn't we?" He asked. "No." I shook my head. I didn't want to give up on something like that. "Let's leave up to fate." I said.

He raised his eyebrows as though he was questioning my already questionable sanity. "What the hell are you talking about?" The scrunched up face he had made me smile. "If we're meant to really like each other, then fate will bring us together, you know, and even if it doesn't we should still wait. That way we're sure that this isn't just something two psychotic teenagers made up. Let's get better first and when we're sure that we're ok, we can find each other and see if we still like each other the way we do right now."

A smile went across his face and heart started beating faster. It was beautiful. "Alright." He said with a chuckle. "But what happens if we don't?" Without a thought I stepped closer to him and placed my hand on the side of his neck. I leaned up, gaining height on my toes to place my lips on his. It was relaxed and it felt natural and warm, not like any kiss I had ever had before. I felt his hand move up to settle just on the lower half of my rib cage as he deepened the kiss. We parted slowly and looked into each other's eyes and it was like we were the only two in the world. I settled one last peck on his lips and held his face in my hands. "Then we'll have that to remember."

I looked back through the window and saw that my mom had gotten out of the car and was making her way up the sidewalk. "I should get going." I said and stepped back. I grabbed my bags and made my way towards the large glass doors. I turned my back to the door to push my way through and my eyes caught Sasuke. His face still looked so happy, that smile not fading. He lifted his hand and waved and I couldn't help but chuckle. "I'll see you later." He said.

"I know."

The End

_That's it, that's the last chapter of White Walls. It might be a disappointing end for some of you, not really knowing whether or not Naruto and Sasuke ever saw each other again, but you can see it how you want to._

_I hope that some of you enjoyed this story._

_Of course, as always, I don't like having less than three stories going at once, so a new fic will be up soon. It will be more of a 'fantasy/horror/supernatural' type of story that will be rather fun for me to write. I'm hoping to get the first chapter up around Halloween, that way everyone is in the mood for such stories. Also, a one shot is on its way as well, so be ready. _

_Until all that new stuff is up you have Cause&Effect, and Scratch to entertain you which I will be updating, hopefully every few weeks. Since school is starting soon the update will be far between, but I'm sure you're used to that by now. XD_

_Mwah!_

_-KJ _


	13. Epilogue P1: He Grew Up

**White Walls**

**Epilogue: Part 1**

_**He Grew Up**_

* * *

><p>'No one can get me in here.'<p>

Nineteen years old and he was huddled up in his bathroom closet. Nineteen years old and Naruto Uzumaki was still afraid of the things that go bump in the night. Any little sound at all and he was convinced that someone was going to break into his apartment and kill him violently with an ax. It was only embarrassing after his mind was clear and rationality had taken over again, but in the moments of panic, hiding in the closet seemed like the most obvious solution.

The tense blonde pulled his legs up to his chest and hugged them tightly, staring into the darkness, only the slightest bit of light trickled through the bottom of the door, just highlighting a bit of the white carpet. It was dead quiet aside from the typical background noise that you get used to living in the city. He held his breath and laid his forehead against his knees and began tapping his fingers on his forearms.

He couldn't remember what made him nervous exactly. Did he hear someone walking in the hallway? Were people talking downstairs in the alley? He didn't know. He didn't care. All he could think about is keeping himself quiet. He didn't want to cry. If someone broke in they would find him right away if he was crying.

Naruto let out his breath and started breathing heavy, his arms going numb as he started to open and close his hands rapidly. Everywhere under his skin itched and he felt cold.

'I'm fine. I'm okay. No one can get me in here. No one can get me.'

Suddenly, he slammed his body back against the wall and covered his mouth with both hands. He heard something. He could have sworn he heard something. A thud? A creak? There had to be someone in his apartment. He squeezed his eyes shut and and heavy tears seeped through and fell down his cheeks and pooled at his fingers. They were going to get him.

He kept his one hand pressed firmly over his mouth and blindly began to feel around the floor for a small box. When his fingers bumped into a smooth, cold surface he carefully slid it over to himself and popped it open, mindful of the way the small wooden box would squeak on its hinges.

The box sat open on the floor next the quivering boy beckoning him to put its contents to good use. Naruto started to bite the skin of his palm as he slipped his fingers into the box and ran them over the textured handle of the box cutter. A last resort kind of deal.

'I'm okay. I'm safe.'

It was a battle every time and it took a lot out of him to say no. It took the will of the world to keep himself from just slitting his wrists in that closet and just getting the hell out of life. He would tell himself that it just wasn't time to go yet. He had stuff to do, places to go, people to meet. That was all bullshit though. He knew what his life was and what it was going to be, and he would be doing a lot of people a favor if he just left. He wouldn't disappoint his family anymore, he wouldn't have to be so scared.

Naruto wrapped his finger around the blade and just held it tightly, his other hand loosening its grip on his face. He ran his hand threw his hair and yanked a bit before bringing the cutter up, pressing the button, and sliding the blade out. He relaxed slightly at the snap it made when it hit its extent.

A small whimper passed his lips when he pressed his thumb on the point and slid it along the edge. He felt a sting in his skin and a tightness in his throat. It would be so easy.

Naruto's breathing quaked as he pressed himself back against the wall, squeezing the box cutter in his hand. His lips quivered with every breath. It would be so, so very easy.

Naruto jumped and dropped the box cutter when a sharp tone filled the air. He frantically dug through his sweatshirt pocket to pull out his phone, the bright light of the screen flooding the small space. Quickly, he slid his finger across the screen and put the phone to his ear, the closet going dark once again.

"Hello?" He whispered.

"Hey, it's me. I was just wondering if you plan on coming into work tonight? If not I'd be happy to take your shift."

He pulled his phone away for a moment, the screen coming back to life, to see that the display time read 1:23am.

"Shit." He hissed to himself. He hadn't realized just how long he had been in the closet. He brought the phone back up to his ear and forced a laugh. "Ha, no, no, I'll be there. Just... overslept, I guess. Um, I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Okay, no problem. Bring something cute, the crowd is good."

"Alright, yeah. Thanks for calling."

Nartuto ended the call and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. "Four fucking hours." He hissed out.

The delusional panic lasted four hours. There was nothing out there. There was no one trying to get into his apartment. No one was going to kill him. He had to go to work.

Slowly, he stood up in the tight space, the shirts and jackets hanging there raddled the hangers against the bar. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and gripped the door handle, resting his forehead against the door frame for a moment. He was tired of this.

He twisted the knob and pushed the door open. He stood in the door way looking around at the his bedroom. Dim light flashing as the muted television played through an episode of Family Guy. His bed was a mess, blankets thrown around, pillows on the floor. He walked over, picked up the remote that was sat on the edge of the mattress and pressed the mute button. The television blared back to life and filled the apartment.

Naruto threw the remote back onto the bed and went out into the hall and to the bathroom. He winced when he flicked on the light, the bulbs in the vanity style mirror hummed as they flashed and blinded the boy. He ran his hands under the faucet allowing it to fill up his cupped hands before plashing the water onto his face. He splashed his face a few more times before turning off the water and standing straight up to look at himself in the mirror.

Ratty blonde hair tangled into a mess on his head, falling just above his shoulders around pale skin. His eyes were wide and blue, accented with deep dark circles that fell like shadows under his lids. His lips were a deep pink, a purple spot just under his top lip, a reminder that most men like to play rough.

He took off his shirt and used it to wipe away the excess water that dripped down his neck. His neck and chest were littered with splotchy red mark and small bruises. He took a deep breath and stared a moment longer, then walked over to the shelf to grab concealer and loose powder. After twisting off the lid he rubbed his finger into it and dabbed it delicately around his eyes and onto a few of the hickeys on his neck. He then smacked on some powder to even everything out and to make everything settle.

His makeup skills were never good, but he figured no one was really looking at his face most of the time.

Naruto took off his loose sweatpants and traded them for the light blue skinny jeans, the one with the small hole in the upper left thigh. He slipped them on, struggling to get them past his bum, then dug through the clothes on the floor for a black tank with the picture of a neon toxic bunny on the front. He walked quickly back down the hall, not bothering to turn off the bathroom light, and slipped on his shoes by the door and pulled his bag off the hook. Before heading out he ran to the kitchen and snatched a pair of lace panties, assless underwear, and his favorite pair of bright orange gogo shorts. He stuffed them into the front pocket of his bag and headed out the front door.

As he shut the front door behind him he looked up and down the hall, grainy with one light that flickered. The carpet was sticky and his shoes ripped away from it with each step.

He pushed the outside door open, a breeze of fresh air and the scent of old garbage hit him and he grimaced as he stepped down onto the pavement. He hated living there. Everything was so dirty. The rent was low, though.

"Hey." A voice, followed by a few chuckles came from behind.

Naruto jumped and turned around, three familiar faces stood on the other side of the alley. "Hey." He said, raising his hand for a second before turning back around to continue on.

"Wait, wait. Where you heading off to so soon?" One of the guys ran up to him, the other two sauntered on right behind. "Want to party?"

"I have to work tonight."

"Haha," One of the guys grabbed at his dick through his jeans and shook it at Naruto. "I've got something you can work on."

"Damn," The other slapped his hand to Naruto's ass and squeezed. "You know I love it when you wear these tight jeans."

"Guys, come on." Naruto pushed himself away and put a secure grip on his bag. "I have to go. We can work something out later... Okay?"

One of the guys snorted and took a long drag off of his blunt. He held it in as he took another step towards the blonde and grabbed him by the back of the neck to make sure he didn't move. He slowly leaned in, which caused Naruto to open his lips slightly. The man smirked and blew the thick smoke into the boy's mouth.

Naruto inhaled deeply, the smoke cutting through his throat and burning his lungs. He yanked away and started to cough, the smoke puffing out with each hack.

The three men laughed and headed back across the alley way. "We'll be waiting for you, baby."

Naruto wiped the stray spit from his chin and walked away out of the alley and into the street. His neighbors were the worst.

He only had to walk for about three minutes before he was heading towards a crowd of men, some old and lavishly dressed, many others young and seemingly hyped up. They all eyeballed him as he passed through the line they stood in and walked right up to the front door where a large bouncer stood.

The blonde smiled at the large man as he opened the door for him.

The music was booming and it vibrated through the floor as the sea of men flooded the dance floor. It was easy to tell which ones were the talent, barely any clothes at all with their shorts stuffed with money from their company. It was an exciting place to be.

He went around the to the back rooms where the dressing rooms were located. It was quieter with all the extra layers of walls blocking out the music that blasted from thirty of forty different speakers. When he walked into the dressing room he was greeted with smiles from a few of the other young dancers that worked there.

"Hey, there he is! We were getting worried that we might not see the star of the hour."

"What, and miss out on the good money floating around out there? Never." He smiled and threw his bag onto one of the chairs before taking off his shirt. "So what's the game out there?"

"Daddies, Daddies, and more Daddies!" One laughed.

"Yeah, we asked Stefan to keep all the freeloaders out tonight."

"Is that why there is such a crowd outside?" He asked, slipping off his pants.

"Probably. Filtering out all the bullshit."

Naruto pulled out the panties and shorts and held them up. "Which ones would work best tonight, then?"

"Gogo is the way to go! But you should save that lace for the auction party Saturday."

He nodded and slipped on the orange gogo shorts. He situated himself then walked over to the full body mirror and checked himself from all angles, admiring the way they hugged his plump ass and made it look better than it actually was.

He liked his body, minus the small bruises, the hickeys, and the faded scars that ran over his arms and thighs. He kept himself clean, shaved and waxed every part to make himself as pleasing to the hands as possible.

Naruto slipped on the boots they all wore on the floor and did one last mirror check before going out into the crowd. He scoped out the area, looking at what areas were taken, what guys had been claimed, and who was giving privates. The bar was always the best place to start. The new customers always went there first, too nervous to dive right in and get their hands dirty.

He glided over, swaying his hips, aware of the eyes that turned on him as he did so. He spotted a gentleman, dressed in a suit, tie loose around his neck as he guzzled scotch. He licked his lips to make the shine and slapped a sweet smile on his face. "Hi."

The older man glanced over at the bouncing blode that hopped up into the seat next to him. He eyed the boy's body, taking in the smooth pale skin, gorgeously rabid hair, and the beautifully big blue eyes. He huffed through his nose and turned his chair to face Naruto completely. "Hello."

"Are you new to this scene?" Naruto asked, crossing his legs slowly, very aware of how the man's eyes drifted down to watch them slide together.

"Not new to the scene, more so new to the area." The older man laughed low in his throat and placed his hand on Naruto's knee and slowly slid it up his thigh, squeezing gently, not breaking eye contact. And that was it.

Before Naruto could catch his breath he found himself wrapped around this man in one of the open rooms, hands grabbing and clawing for flesh and contact. He felt his body getting warmer as the older man's hands roamed down his bare back and onto his ass. Naruto tangled his fingers in the man's hair and latched their mouths together, the heavy taste of alcohol sending jolts of thoughtless pleasure to his lower half.

He loved it. He hated to admit it to himself, but he did love it. He loved being with men constantly, hour after hour, young ones old ones, he didn't care. He loved the way they always wanted to take control and demanded things from him. When he was in the moment he was simply an object of desire and pleasure, and it made him so happy.

His body learned well after being in the business to move and grind just right to drive his customers crazy. Just the way he bent over was enough to make a man empty his bank account on him. He became an animal when he was turned on, going on pure instinct to get what he wanted.

Their bodies were close, the man latched onto Naruto's neck, sucking and licking in all the right spots, doubling over the areas that made the trembling boy hiss and moan. Naruto noticed the skill the man had and realized he wasn't lying when he said he wasn't new to the scene. He had to impress.

Naruto let his hand fall from the man's hair and he slowly dragged them down the man's chest, then his stomach, then settled on the heavy bulge in the man's pants. He squeezed and smirked at the little hiss that came from his lips and his rough hands gripped harder on Naruto's ass.

Naruto continued to rub and squeezed, trailing soft pecks along the man's jawline and onto his cheek. He fingered around for the zipper on the man's pants and pulled it down, slipping hand to grab the thick, pulsing cock.

The man's head lulled back and he sighed, pumping his hips lightly into Naruto's hand. Breathing heavily, he started to he pressed his forehead against Naruto's shoulder continued to trail his hands up and down the boy's back to his thighs.

Naruto pressed further to close off any gap between them, feeling himself dissolve into the man's needy hands, the hot cock in his hand making his mouth water with intense craving. His brain was fuzzy and every inch of his body tingled as he put his lips to the man's ear and lowly in his throat he said, "I want you to use my mouth, Daddy."

The blonde squealed playfully as he was suddenly lifted up and thrown onto the large fluffy chair. The man towered over him pumping himself, shamelessly eyeing every inch of Naruto's lean frame.

Naruto stared up at the man, spreading his legs and closing them slowly, licking his lips, making himself look as innocent and vulnerable as possible. He knew how to work.

The man reached out and grabbed Naruto by his hair and yanked him up into a sitting position, the younger letting out a shocked moan. The man watched as the little cockslut greedily eyed his cock and tried his best to move his face closer to it, his mouth hung open. The man clenched his teeth and breathed heavily through his nose when he felt the boy's cold breath hit his heated skin. "This want you want, baby? You want to suck on this?"

He kept a good hold on the blonde's hair. It pulled slightly in his fingers as Naruto nodded and looked up at him. "Yeah, you want Daddy's cock. You're a little slut, huh?" He moved closer and pressed the head to Naruto's wet lips, circling around them slowly smearing precum across them.

Naruto groaned and tried to move closer. He wanted in his mouth, he want to suck on it, he want to get skull fucked and guzzle down loads of this stranger's cum like the good little whore he was. He opened his mouth wider and let the man slip in just a bit further to rub his tip across his eagerly awaiting tongue. The taste alone sent a jolt down to his own throbbing erection and he began to palm himself through his shorts.

The man couldn't take anymore. He was about to lose his mind watching those soft pink lips settle around the head and suckle at it softly. His grip on the boy's hair tightened and Naruto was pulled closer, taking more of the man's cock. He pulled him closer and closer, and slid his hot cock into the warm, wet hole, cheeks and tongue working together as Naruto started sucking harder.

The man threw his head back and groaned loudly as he started to pump in and out, scraping the back of Naruto's throat each time. No matter how far back he went, the boy continued to suck as hard as he could, even opening his throat up to help the man go deeper.

Naruto had his own cock in his hand stroking it slowly, focusing on the heat that filled his mouth. The taste and scent was heavy and it filled his mind to the brim and sent waves of pleasure through him. He opened his mouth even wider, trying to get the man as deep as he could, and all he could think about was getting the man to come. He wanted to taste it and be covered in it.

With that thought in mind he let himself go and grabbed the mans hips, trying to pull him in, sucking harder and using his tongue to scrape around it softly.

"Oh, fucking christ!" Than man groaned, his hand slipping away from Naruto's tangled locks to settle just below his jaw, just tracing the line of it as the boy took the opportunity to bob his head a he pleased.

Naruto pulled all the way back, the head only remaining inside before he released it with a lewd pop. He gripped the base with one hand and stroked the length of it while he lapped at the head. He could see the man tense up and quickly sucked down his entire cock again just before he shot his load over Naruto's tongue.

The man pulled himself out and stroked himself, gently milking the rest out onto Naruto's chest and stomach. His mouth watered and he sucked at his own lips as he watched the blonde lay back with a satisfied look and scoop up some of the his hot sludge with his finger and suck it clean.

By 6am the music was off, the crowd was small, the dancers were exhausted, and Naruto counted out nine thousand dollars. Four thousand for the club, five thousand for himself. It was rare, but on nights like these where the place was full of the rich and desperate, the dancers cleaned up well.

As Naruto slipped the four thousand into a wrinkled up envelope he kept his eye on the last dancer in the room. "How'd you do?" He asked.

The other guy in the room who was packing away a few of his outfit choices looked up and smiled. "Got about two thousand for the road. Not the best, but I wasn't in the mood to handle privates tonight, you know?" He smiled and looked at his phone to see the time. "Shit," he hissed. "I have to catch the bus, can you deliver this to Jiraiya?"

Naruto nodded and took the slightly less tattered envelope. "Yeah, sure. Um, did you already tell him what days you wanted to work next week? Or, is that already worked out?"

The other dancer opened and closed his mouth, then smiled. "Um, this was actually my last night."

"What?" Naruto scrunched his face. He was always surprised to hear when dancers at the club were quitting. Not that he was going to miss them or anything, he never took the chance to get to know any of them. Just a few numbers in his phone for the days when he wanted someone else to work his shift. "Why?"

"I met someone." He smiled. "At school, I mean. He's really nice and he's studying law, and it's just, he's such a good guy. I thought he deserved better than a trashy gogo dancer slash prostitute. Just wanted to get out of here before it was too late."

Get out before it was too late? Naruto nodded again like he understood the great meaning behind that and slung his bag over his shoulder. "Right. Yeah, I'll drop this off for you."

"Thanks, Naruto." He smiled and headed out of the dressing room, calling out. "You be good, alright?"

"Always am."

It was eerie walking through the club when it was empty, each step echoing as he walking straight across the dance floor. The cleaners were around the bar wiping down the counter tops and the stools, talking among themselves. He sighed walking up the steps to his boss's office that looked over the entire building.

Before he got a chance to knock on the heavy metal door it swung open, nearly knocking him over the rail a he tried to step out of the way. An older man, mid fifties or so, stepped out with a cigarette between his lips.

"Um, hey, Jiraiya." Naruto stuttered out as he tried to give the man some room to step out onto the platform. "I have my night's share for ya'." He passed two envelopes to the man.

Jiraiya huffed a billow of smoke past his cigarette and checked the evelopes, counting Naruto's first.

"I made nine thousand."

Jiraiya crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at the blonde.

"Um, three privates, five or six dances, and, uh, I secured three regulars for next week and four reservations for the auction on Saturday. I already put their names in the book." He spoke quickly, pausing to take a breath. "Oh, and that's the other guy's club fee. The one who quit, he asked me to give it to you."

The old man pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and blew smoke into the air. "You were late for your shift."

Naruto stared up at the man for a second before speaking again. "Yeah, I was. I wasn't feeling well, completely lost track of time."

Jiraiya stepped past the blonde and stalked slowly down the stairs with the envelopes in his hands. "Don't let it happen again."

A cold man he was, a business man. Never liked talking to anyone unless it was to scold them. From what Naruto heard Jiraiya had a wife and three kids at home, a normal life basically, double life kind of deal. Everyone was pretty sure he was in with the mob.

Naruto watched him clunk down the stairs and out the back door. He sighed and did the same, shivering at the biting cold of the early morning. It was still pretty dark, the sun's light just barely started to peak over the city drowning everything in a heavy dark blue. It was solemn but the fresh air blew away all the cigarette smoke and the scent of sex from his brain and made him feel calm.

Sometimes he thought about getting his life together, quitting the club, going back to school, getting a real job, all the basics. Other times, most of the time, he felt good about where he was and what he was doing. He was on his own, he was making great money, he was a master manipulator when it came to the men that entered his territory. He was smart and he had everything under control. On the outside he had everything under control.

Naruto decided, after getting home and locking the door, that he would have a better day than the last. He just had to remember that hearing people talking outside didn't mean they were plotting his murder. The thumps and cracks and bangs he heard where just neighbors or the walls and pipes settling. No one was going to hurt him. No one had any reason to hurt him. Most of the people in his building liked him and if anything at all were to happen all he had to do was scream and someone would come running to help him.

Walking through his apartment he started tearing off his clothes, shoes first, then shirt, then his pants. When he got to the bathroom he was just left in his gogo shorts, the bright orange seeming out of place in his boring white bathroom. He slipped them off and used his foot to fling them into the pile of dirty laundry he had to take care of at some point.

He took a moment to look at himself in the mirror. He sighed at the appearance of new kiss marks and the way the make up on his face had smeared and creased, making him look older than what he actually was. He stepped over to the shower and turned the hot water on, the hiss of the water and it's clatter on the shower floor echoed in the small room and soothed Naruto's restless mind. Before getting in he pulled the curtain that covered the small window open, taking in the hint of orange-red that was cutting into the sky on the city's horizon.

The water was hot and it stung his skin, but he continued to lean into the stream, cupping some of the water and splashing it onto his face, rubbing away some of the smudgy makeup away. He grabbed a washrag that hung on the bar above his head and ran it under the water, then sqeezed some of his body wash onto it. After scrubbing it into a thick foam he cleaned his face. He took pride in having clear skin, so getting that crap off of his face was always a priority at the end of the night. He scrubbed away at the rest of his body until he felt squeaky clean, then moved on to his hair.

He stayed in for a while longer after he was done washing up, staring through the clear curtains out the window at the rising sun, the sky catching fire and fading into a pleasant blue.

Naruto came out of the bathroom in a fresh white t-shirt, boxer shorts, and a towel wrapped round his neck like a scarf to keep his wet hair from dripping down his back. He made his way into the kitchen where his bag was haphazardly thrown on the floor near the entrance. He picked it up and sat it on the counter, digging through the pockets for his money. He counted it out one more time to make sure he had his five thousand, then rummaged through the cupboards for the cookie tin he kept clear in the back.

When he opened the tin it exploded with cash that had been stuffed in there. He made a mental note to get something bigger to keep his earning is, and maybe a better hiding place. He placed his new paper in with the rest and pressed the lid back down.

"Shit." He hissed.

He grabbed his bag again and searched for his phone. He unlocked the screen and quickly looked through his contacts for Jiraiya's office number. He put his phone to his ear and listened to each blaring ring tone. He took a moment to put the tin back into the cupboard, being sure to slide the various spices and canned goods in front of it.

"No one is here to take you call, my apologies. Please leave your name, number, and inquiry, and I will gladly get back to you at later time. Thank you."

"Hey," he took a breath and smiled at no one. "It's Naruto, I totally forgot to ask you about my days next week. Um, I haven't really talked to any of the other guy's about rotation and trade offs or anything, so I'm not sure what days are clear. Like, I'll definitely be there Saturday, so I guess I can work it out with them there, but if you happen to know of any days where I can get in just let me know, I'm free any day, any time. Just give me a call or I'll see you on Saturday. Bye."

Naruto sighed and ended the call, setting his phone back down on the counter. He pulled the towel from around his neck and began to dry his hair properly, running the towel through it and shaking it about like a dog. When it was still just damp he hung the towel round his shoulders and started to look through his fridge. He grabbed a small bottle of apple juice that was already opened and half gone, uncapped it and took a few good gulps, leaving just enough for one more swig. He put the bottle back in the fridge and walked back down the hallway.

On his way to his bedroom and tossed the towel into the bathroom, blindly aiming from the pile of dirty laundry. When he got into his bedroom he closed and locked the door, then flopped onto his bed. He relaxed for a moment with his eyes closed then began to feel an itch under his skin as he realized how quiet it was. He opened his eyes and saw the "Your receiver is currently off, Press Select to watch TV" notification moving around the screen.

Too comfortable to move, he started sliding his hands around the end of the mattress looking for the remote. He felt the hard plastic of the top of the remote and started pressing buttons randomly waiting for the tv to turn on. He jumped when the screen finally flashed on, the voice of a woman news reporter blaring about some local charity fundraiser.

He slid the remote closer to himself so that he could actually see the buttons and pressed for the DVR. He sometimes felt like a five year old with the crap that filled up the space of his DVR. Family Guy, American Dad, Ghost Adventures, Dance Moms, Roseanne, and about thirty movies he hasn't bothered to watch yet. He went for a random episode of Family Guy, then turned the volume down to where he could just barely hear it.

He turned over on his stomach and pulled the heavy blanket over himself, then hid his head under the pillow to keep the creeping light of the early morning away. And he was out like a light.

Four hours later, Naruto woke up from a nightmare. Something about an alien invasion where bombs were being dropped on every square mile of the planet, a multitude of intimidating spacecraft in the sky making it hard to know who were the good guys and who were the bad guys. He had dreams like that a lot. Dreams about wars and fires, people being killed in mass numbers. In all those dreams he was alone and he was always trying to get back home to his mother. Most of the time he would know that he was dreaming, but for some reason he just couldn't wake himself up, and that just made everything ten times as horrible.

He hated the way he dreamed. He was always too aware and when he was are everything was scarier, more painful. He'd died in his dreams before. Naruto remembered someone telling him a long time ago that if you died in your dreams, you'd die in real life the same way. Scared the hell out of him to think about it too long.

Although, he enjoyed the end. The moments after he died where everything went black and all the noise stopped and turned into a soft static in the distance. All the pain he felt from whatever it was that happened to him in that dream softened into numbness and he floated calmly in a space where the air seemed cleaner. Sometimes he'd see a light, an average light, like one at the end of a tunnel. Other times he'd see light under a door, like he was trapped in a room with all the lights off, and just on the other side of that door was salvation.

That closed door always scared him. It reminded him of the time when his mind broke down and every time he tried to escape into a place he called "the clubhouse" nothing would be there. Everything was black, except for the bit of light that seemed to pour out onto the floor from behind a door with no handle. He'd spend hours in his head laying next to the door watching shadows walk past.

Just a few days before he tried to kill himself the first time he tried to get in. He went crazy not being able to escape to the beautiful place he had once had and just lost it. He started banging on that imaginary door, screaming for someone to let him in or let him out, whichever. He kept telling himself that it was all in his head and that if he wanted in, he just had to imagine a door handle, turn it, and go in. That just didn't work.

It was all kind of fucked up, but usually after a couple of hours he was over the nightmares, and with luck they would be forgotten by lunch.

Naruto had to start his day. He wanted to get some stuff done, get rid of the clutter in his house, do the laundry, open the windows for a while. That sort of thing.

He sat up in his bed, eyes creased at the bit of sunlight that came through the window. He could here the noise of the streets waking up, cars sputtering, people greeting each other at the bus stop. Kicking his blankets off, he stood up, slouching horribly from the stiffness that came with laying in the same huddled position for too long. With his eyes just barely opened, he started trudging through to the bathroom.

He didn't bother looking at himself in the mirror, he knew what he looked like in the mornings, and just started splashing hand fulls of cold water on his face to clear his eyes and wake up.

It took three hours to get everything how he wanted it. He swept and mopped the floors, moved the books on the shelf around, made up his room, cleaned the bathroom, organized his kitchen, then opened all the windows to clear the place of all the muck in the air.

For a while he stood in the middle of his living room, hands on his hips, staring off into space. He felt weird being in his apartment after doing a full cleaning, the air changed and the comfortable chaos was gone, but at least it looked good.

That empowering sense of accomplishment rushed over him as he huffed a stray blonde lock off of his forehead. All he had left to do was his grocery shopping. Something he never liked doing.

A faint buzz and a quiet tone dragged him out of his daze and he walked into the kitchen where his phone sat on the counter sliding back and forth with each vibration. He picked it up and saw that it was his mother calling. He answered without hesitation.

"Hello?"

"Hey, what are you up to?"

"Um, nothing. Just got done doing some cleaning and getting ready to head out. Buy food, that sort of thing."

"I see. Well, I was going to call last night, but it was pretty late and I figured you were at work. You do still work late nights, right?"

"Yep. Every night, organizing mail at the post office. Just like I told you. Very hard job. Pays great though."

"Well, that's great. I'm really happy you've settled so well out there."

"Thanks, Mom." Naruto let his head fall and closed his eyes, a thick silence falling between them for just a moment. "What did... Did you need something, or...?"

"Oh, right!" She raised her voice. "Someone called looking for you. I would have given him your number, but I only have it in my cell."

Naruto scrunched his face thinking of all the people in the world that could have possibly called his parents' house looking for him. He was pretty sure Jiraiya didn't have their number, and no one else was really close enough to even know he had parents, so...

"Who was it?" He asked.

"Sasuke Uchiha. He said you two met a while back and was looking to get in touch again."

It was like the entire room shifted through multiple dimensions to send him back to that hospital, back to that time, back to that mindset. Naruto felt his face go cold as the blood just rushed away from it. He sucked in his lips and tried to keep them from quivering as his mind rushed through a million different thoughts all at once.

"S-Sasuke?" He asked.

"Yes. You do know him, right?"

Of course, he knew him. It had been a good three or four years, but he thought about Sasuke often. Not obsessively, just, every now and again he would remember. For a long time he wondered what happened to him. In the beginning, he really wanted to just look Sasuke up, call him, just talk to him, especially on his bad days when it seemed like he was sitting on the edge with no way back to solid ground.

But he was too scared. He'd get nervous thinking that Sasuke wouldn't remember him, or maybe Sasuke really didn't like him, or maybe calling would fuck up whatever kind of recovery the two of them were in. So, he went on with his life trying his best to put Sasuke in the back of his mind like a fond memory he wanted to hold on to, only thinking about him when he really needed to get his mind off things.

Naruto used to imagine what it would be like if he did call Sasuke and they did get together, and they actually did start a romantic relationship. He always had the typical picture or the happy, beautiful relationship that lasted years and then they would get married and live in a nice house and adopt two or three kids and grow old together. After a while, he grew up.

He stopped hanging on childish fantasies and started putting himself out there. His old therapist had said it would be good to try to experiment with romantic relationships. He dated around, jumping from one to the other, and very quickly he realized he wasn't good at the romance thing. He didn't want the sweet words or tender touches. He figured he wouldn't be able to give Sasuke what he wanted anyway. He wasn't good enough for Sasuke.

"Hello?"

Naruto cleared his throat and stood up straight, taking a steady step to start pacing around his kitchen. "Yeah, yeah, I know him. We... We were in the hospital together."

"Oh..." His mother hummed a slightly displeased tone and sighed. "If I had known that, I wouldn't have bothered calling."

"No, mom, it's okay. He and I were good friends, you know, it might be good to catch up."

"I don't think so. You know, talking to someone like that might put your head in a dark place again. I don't want you to have to be put away again."

"'Put away'? I was in a hospital to get help, 'put away' makes it sound like some broken toy that no one wanted to play with anymore. And Sasuke isn't psychotic, no one there was... Well, I mean, they were, but not the way you're making them out to be."

"I just don't think it's a good idea. You've been doing so well. You've got your own place, you're working, you're happy. Why do you want to mess that up?"

Naruto glared as he continued to pace around, edging his way closer and closer to the living room, his grip on his phone becoming tighter. "What the hell are you even talking about?" He hissed. "For one, you don't know if I'm doing well or not, you almost never call, and when I call you you say your busy and that you'll call back later, but you never do. You don't know shit about how I am. Second of all, you don't get a say in who I do or do not talk to. Now, can you please just give me his nu-"

A faint ding sounded in his ear and he looked at his phone to see that the call had been ended. "Fucking ridiculous."

He rolled his eyes and opened up his recent calls list and scrolled through until he saw 'Dad'.

The phone rang only a few times before a soft click and a bit of rustling was heard on the other end.

"Well, hello! Haven't heard from you in a while."

Naruto couldn't help but smile, if there was one person that could make grey skies turn blue it was his dad.

After Naruto got out of the hospital Minato put forth an effort to spend more time with his son. He made sure he was happy and taken care of. He did everything he could to let Naruto know that he loved him, supported him, and was there whenever he needed someone to talk to.

"Hi, Dad. How are you?"

"Oh, you know, same shit different day. In the office now." He chuckled. "What about you? What have you been getting up to in the big city?"

"Not much, really. I mostly work and sleep."

"Still going to your therapy sessions, right? Staying on your meds?"

"Yes, Dad." Naruto lied.

"I know you hate when I ask, but I just want to make sure you're still doing okay out there."

"Dad, I've been out he for a long time now. I think if there were going to be any problems they would have happened already."

"I guess, your right. So, what's up?"

"I just got off the phone with mom, and she's being a butt, so I was wondering if, when you get home, if you could get a number from her. She said an old friend of mine called-"

"Sasuke."

"Yeah, Sasuke. She said he called and then I mentioned that we had met in the hospital and now she's refusing to give it to me. She thinks I'll go crazy again and have to be 'put away', as she puts it, if I talk to him."

Naruto's father sighed heavily. "Yes, I will text you the number when I get home tonight. It might be kind of late though."

"That's fine. I would just really like to have it. Thanks, Dad."

"It's no problem. I think it'd be nice for you to catch up with an old friend. I'm guessing you two haven't talked much since then."

"We haven't talked at all, actually. We kind of wanted to get better before we got together outside of the hospital."

"Oh, well that's good. That was a very mature decision, kind of makes things more exciting. Getting to see how far you both have come would be great."

"Yeah... I guess. I mean it's been years, so he's probably all better now... Normal." Naruto walked over and slumped himself over on the couch. He didn't even think about how the two of them are probably completely different people than they used to be. "Fuck, he's probably completely different, and I'm..." His voice cracked.

On the other end Minato could hear the sudden weakness in his son's voice. He sat back in his office chair and stared solemnly gazed at the small family photo that he had framed on the corner of his desk. It was one from years and years ago. Naruto was about nine or ten. It was taken on a day that for a long time Minato considered the best day of his life. It was just him and his family out on a picnic by the pond on the outskirts of the town they used to live in. He remembered how happy they all were that day. His boy was happy.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Naruto laid back and crossed his legs over the couch. He aggressively ran his fingers through his hair and yanked at it. "I'm great, I promise. Everything is fine."

"Are you sure? Because if there was anything wrong... If you're not feeling well, you just have to tell me and I'll be over, or I can call the doctor, or we can just talk some more. Whatever you need. And I won't mention anything to your mother. You wouldn't have to worry about that."

Naruto felt his face heat up and he moved his hand to rest over his eyes, already feeling dampen with tears. His dad had a way of breaking him down. He was just so willing to listen and ready to understand that it made it hard for Naruto to not blurt out everything. He had no one else in the entire world who cared as much as his father did. He had a few friends here and there, but sex and drugs were usually the only topics of conversation between them.

He wanted to tell his dad about the nightmares and the panic attacks. He wanted him to know about the paranoid delusions and the fear he felt everyday just from hearing a weird noise or people talking outside. He felt like such a little kid, thinking Daddy just might come to the rescue and fight off all the monsters, but really all it would get him is more meds, more therapy, and more concern from his parents. He didn't want them to be worried, and he didn't want to be bothered.

"I'm fine. If there was something wrong I would tell you." He tried his best to steady his breathing. "I have no reason to lie." Naruto rolled onto his side and pressed himself up against the back cushion. "Dad, sorry, I have to go, the store is only open until five on Fridays and I really need to do some shopping, so..."

"Oh, of course. I won't keep you. I'll text you the number later tonight, alright? I love you."

"Love you too."

Naruto ended the call and slid his phone down between the cushions. He quickly became sickeningly aware of the silence and the heavy scent of bleach and tropical air freshener. The air felt heavier around him and he started arguing with himself. It would be great to talk to Sasuke, but he was starting to think he didn't want to kick up old dirt.

His stomach tightened as he started to think about what he would even say to Sasuke. What would they talk about? Did Sasuke want something? Did he want to start something? Were they supposed to take that next step like they said they would? For a long time he had all those thoughts completely out of mind, he moved on, basically. He grew up. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do. He didn't know, and not knowing what to do was horrifying.

He felt very uneasy for some reason.

* * *

><p>Quick Note: Well, hey! Been a while, huh? There are probably going to be three parts to the epilogue, if that's cool. I've got some fun stuff planned for it. Also, I'm going to try to work on some of the other fics I have up, so be on the look out for them.<p>

Anyway, I hope you liked this bit. Sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors, I'm just way too lazy to reread my work. As always, reviews, comments, and ideas for future chapters or stories (which if used with be credited) are greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading!

-KJ


	14. Epilogue P2: A Little Goes A Long Way

White Walls

Epilogue Part 2:

A Little Goes A Long Way

It slowly became more and more maddening. His ears would twitch and he'd grind his teeth at the sounds that bounced off the thick wooden walls, echoing like _tip tip tip, _all at different paces. He contributed to the sound himself as he typed away. His eyes burned from staring too long at the too bright screen, and his lips were dry.

Sasuke broke the stride of his fingers to let out an impressive yawn and for just a second the world went quiet. He sat back in his chair and stared up at the intricately designed cathedral styled ceiling.

He closed his eyes and shapes of purple and blue danced in his vision.

For the past few years that was a routine - the sitting, they typing, the sleep deprivation- and it was all leading up to something big, he was sure. What the hell happened? He wondered constantly what had happened to him that turned him around completely. If he were to go back in time and find himself five or six years earlier he would be looking at a completely different person, someone he didn't recognize.

Really, he knew what happened. He knew the medications had something to do with it, but there was more to it than that. He had something driving him to stay on the right track. At every milestone he looked back and analyzed every bit that lead up to it.

That boy was one thing that always came to mind. It always came back to that blonde boy he met at that hospital. Naruto? Was that his name? He remembers being rather infatuated with him, so much so that he made a promise to him that he would get better -stop being crazy- so they could find each other again and... Well, he didn't know what they thought they were going to do.

The memory seemed distant and had faded away more and more as time passed and more important things filled his mind, but he couldn't deny that Naruto was the reason his life had turned out the way it did, or at least contributed to his current circumstances.

After he left the hospital and finished his treatment at the next, he went home and started anew. He had his parents enroll him in an online school so the stress and confusion that came with traditional schooling didn't cause his brain to revert back to the mess that all the medication had cleared up. With all the extra time on his hands and the ability to finally focus he was able to test out of his courses one after the other and graduated two years early.

Not only were his parents impressed, but the district school board under which his school was held was through the roof with his achievements. So much so that they awarded him a full scholarship to any university.

Sasuke took that as his opportunity to flee. He filed for an emancipation from his parents immediately and headed across the country trying to put as much distance between himself and his family as possible. He felt like he had died and gone to heaven.

It was a big change and for a while he worried that his mind would crack and he'd be back to square one, but something he had forgotten about kept him going.

He studied Psychology, which was a surprise even to himself. His presentations and proposals for treatment plans and his field work studies impressed his professors, who recommended him to the treatment facility where seasoned doctors and professors worked and studied the most complex workings of the mind. Sasuke focused more on ways to help people who were struggling with depression and who had suffered sexual and physical abuse.

A year and half went by and he was issued and honorary degree in Psychology that would allow him to continue more in depth research and work with patients who were in need of more personalized treatments. Sasuke was becoming well known for his research and success with the people he helped.

None of that recognition came easy, however. Because of his age many people were hesitant to take anything he said seriously. Every time he wanted to do research, every time he got a new client, every time he wanted to tag along to observe field studies or experiments he had to submit reports explaining in great detail every aspect of who, what, when, where, why, and how.

It pissed him off to no end that even after blowing every other student out of the water his age alone still took away any credibility he may have had, but actually getting to help people find peace in their lives made it all worth it.

Sasuke's mind was just beginning to tumble into a numbing state of relaxation when he felt a pair of lips press against his cheek. He opened his eyes and saw a toothy grin hanging over him.

"Dosing off, huh?" The grin said.

Sasuke yawned ferociously and watched as the owner of that grin moved around to sit on the opposite side of the table.

"You do know this report of yours doesn't have to be submitted for another month, right?"

"Sui, please." Sasuke groaned. "Don't remind me of my impending death."

Suigetsu chuckled and lifted his backpack onto the table. He unzipped the front pocket and pulled out a vended package of mini oreos and a small bottle of Coke. "I figured you hadn't gotten up to eat anything, so I brought you fuel."

Sasuke smiled and grabbed the blue bag of cookies. "Aren't you just the sweetest."

Suigetsu was his - lover? Sex pal? Soul mate? - something. They met during Sasuke's first year at the University. Since he was youngster on the field of adulthood at the time the University, as they did with any mini prodigy that entered their campus, gave him a chaperone. Suigetsu wasn't that chaperone. His best friend Jugo, the bulky teddy bear of a man, was in charge of keeping Sasuke out of trouble.

Sasuke followed Jugo around like a child who couldn't be separated from their mother. It was pathetic, he thought, but he found comfort in the fact that there was at least one person who was obligated to be his friend.

Jugo never seemed to mind having an extra shadow, even after Sasuke had learned the ropes and could find his way around on his own. He liked kids and at the time Sasuke was just that, a child who was too smart for his own damn good. After he saw what the kid was capable of he made it his personal mission to make sure Sasuke made it as far as possible.

Truthfully, he was only hoping for the kid to graduate with honors, but instead he found himself being surpassed rather quickly. That certainly didn't stop him from getting on Sasuke's ass any time he slacked off.

He wasn't too demanding of him. Jugo understood the importance of taking a break and going out with friends, which was exactly how Sasuke met Suigetsu.

One night after the first big test that Sasuke nearly killed himself over, Jugo invited him out to run around the city and live for a while. Karin, Jugo's girlfriend, practically had a heart attack when she met Sasuke. She made it a point to squish his face to her chest and squeal at how cute he was every chance she got. She made quite an impression, but Suigetsu was the one who made his heart flip and split into a million different pieces.

Sasuke fell in love with how vibrant Suigetsu was, and how easy it was for him to find the best in bad situations. He was a ball of sunshine and snappy whit with the heart of an overprotective mother.

They hung out together every chance they got after their first meeting, and Jugo teased them both about it and was just waiting for them to announce an engagement.

Sasuke was the one to take the first step and ask Suigetsu on a date. He took him to a nice restaurant, walked around the park and looked at the stars, and they shared the most mind bending night of their lives together.

They had been together for almost four years but nothing was ever quite made it to the level of _official_. Suigetsu had expressed his reasons for keeping things simple - a bad relationship prior to the one he shared with Sasuke kept his walls up to any sort of commitment. It was still very clear that his feelings for Sasuke were bursting through every cell of his body every time he smiled.

There wasn't quite a name for what their relationship was, but there was love. Certainly something Sasuke didn't want to lose. He was sure that the boy from the hospital had something to do with how well he was doing, but a lot of his work, a lot of his sleepless nights, a lot of the stress and tears that went into his success were dedicated to Suigetsu. He wanted to be able to give him everything he wanted. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, more than anything that is all he wanted.

"What's this one for anyway?" Suigetsu asked, resting his chin in his hands.

"Um," He spoke through a mouth full of mushed cookie. "I want to try a group therapy session with the patients I work with. There are a couple of them that I think would really benefit from hearing what other people have to say about their own improvement, as well as their struggles. I think listening to other people talk, people that actually _understand_ what they've gone through, would be better than just listening to me tell them what they should and shouldn't do."

"Hey," Suigetsu smiled and reached across the table to tap on Sasuke's fingers. "You don't just tell them what to do, you know. You guide them towards recovery. You've helped a good handful of people find peace with their past. That's amazing. Don't sell yourself so short."

Sasuke locked his fingers with Suigetsu's and rubbed his thumb along the side of his hand. His chest felt warm and a smile spread across his face. "I love you."

Suigetsu's dropped his head to the table and hid his face behind his free hand while tightening his grip on Sasuke's hand. "Why do you say that all the time?" He mumbled.

"Because it's true!" Sasuke sang. "I love you, I love you, I love you!"

"It's weird!"

"Why's it weird?"

Suigetsu slid his hand away from Sasuke's and sat up, staring down at the table. "I mean," He started. "There's billions of people in this world, right? What makes you think I'm worth loving?"

Sasuke sighed and closed his laptop. "What makes you think there's anyone in this world any more perfect than you?"

Suigetsu wanted to list off a million different reasons why he wasn't even close to being perfect, but the look on Sasuke's face, the way he looked at him made him believe he was in fact perfect. Without a doubt, he had found a great person to fall in love with, one who didn't hurt him, who just wanted to love him. Unfortunately, most days he didn't feel worthy of breathing, let alone being loved by one of the most amazing people he's ever met in his life.

His last relationship was a bust - some guy he started dating way back in high school. At one point he had been the only person in the world who wasn't just waiting for him to fuck up. Then suddenly, it seemed like all that man could see was a fuck up, and he treated Suigetsu as such. He treated him like garbage. That sick man tore him a part mentally, and physically. Up until he met Sasuke, Suigetsu was walking around feeling like an empty shell.

Sasuke had restored his faith in love and in life. Still, every now and again he would hear that man's words echoing in the back of his mind reminding him of how worthless and prone to failure he was, but two seconds next to Sasuke and his life turned to beauty and light.

"I love you too." He whispered back to Sasuke.

Sasuke smiled and popped another cookie in his mouth.

"So," He huffed. "are we doing anything this weekend that I should prepare for?"

Suigetsu shook his head. "I think you'll be on your own this weekend, babe. Jugo and Karin are going on some sort of cheesy couple's retreat for their anniversary."

"That's cute."

"Oh, very cute. And I'm going on a little trip with the art department. Wont be back until Tuesday at least."

Sasuke slouched in his chair with a pout. "I guess I am on my own."

"Maybe you should take a trip?" Suigetsu suggested.

"A trip?"

"Mhm. Maybe you could go visit your family."

Sasuke stared blankly. "Pardon?"

"Your family!" Suigetsu laughed. "You need to go see them at some point, right? How long's it been?"

"Two years."

"Sasuke, that's insane! That is absolutely insane! I find it _insane _that you haven't seen your family in _two years_."

Sasuke scoffed. "I talk to them on the phone all the time."

"No, you talk to your brother every four or five months, and you're never the one who calls." He smiled. "Come on, it's a good idea. I don't want you to be here all alone and I definitely don't want you stressing out over this report when I'm not here to relieve you of said stress. " He winked.

"I don't know..."

"I know you've had family problems, but things are different now. You're not some helpless teenager who's stuck there. You're a man! An amazing, wonderful, successful, incredibly fucking sexy man who deserves everything this beautiful world of ours has to offer, and that includes a normal relationship with your family."

Sasuke thought about it for a second then reluctantly shrugged. "Fine, I'll see what they're doing for the weekend, but I'm not making any promises."

"I think it'll be good for you."

Half an hour passed before Suigetsu had to leave the library to attend his last class, and Sasuke had to return to world of_ tip tip tip _and the blinding light of his laptop screen.

He became distracted quickly and his speedy rhythm of typing fell and stuttered. Sasuke wasn't sure if he really wanted to go see his parents. He went through his usual reasons, such as the taking a plane was annoying, he had work to do here, he didn't want to inconvenience them, blah blah blah.

It was all bullshit, of course.

He was just scared.

Things had become awkward for the most part between him and his family. The fact that he just up and left, and acted like he had forgotten about their existence was pathetic. He had gone and seen them only once, or better yet, they tracked him down to make sure he wasn't dead. Then they met once more two years prior to Sasuke's current standing and that was a bit of a shitstorm as it was when his parents took the opportunity to inform Sasuke that not only had his brother been sent to rehab for a marijuana addiction - something Sasuke rolled his eyes at more than once - , but they were also having a baby.

Sasuke still had a bit of a guilty conscience about not having even attempted a relationship with that baby. _Well, he's not a baby anymore_, Sasuke thought. He felt bad that he was leaving a little innocent dumpling to fend for himself with an over protective mother, an abrasive father, and a shit head older brother.

If he were to ever pray, he'd pray for his baby brother.

Sasuke leaned down from the table and picked his bag up off the floor. He dug around in the cluttered sack for his phone. A part of him sighed with relief when he saw that the battery was only at 2%. That most certainly wasn't enough battery life to have a decent conversation with his mom or dad, and absolutely gave him _no time _to make plans!

He puttered through his lips and tossed his phone back into the mess of paper. At least he tried.

Again, Sasuke attempted to go back to his work. His train of thought had withered away and all of 15,000 words that he had punched out within four hours seemed like gibberish and he decided his fingers would snap off if he didn't let them rest for a while. Suigetsu was right, he had month before the report was due to his supervisors. He had other classes to worry about still, and he needed to give himself a break before he imploded.

He chewed his lip as his mind raced to a strange place.

On a sudden impulse he closed out of his document and opened his web browser, then logged on to Facebook. He hadn't used that cesspool of a website for years, but he wanted to check something, and he wasn't sure why.

His eyes flew around the screen as he saw random updates from people he had long forgotten back home. Many of the people he was friends with were posting pictures of wild nights out, updates on their cram sessions, and a few were posting whole albums of their too soon new families. That wasn't what he wanted to see, though.

Steadily he led the cursor to the search box and typed in a name that seemed barely alive in his mind. Sasuke had no idea what made him think of it, or why he felt the need to check. Maybe that slight sliver of memory that had crept its way into the back of his mind had grown into something a bit more invasive.

He clicked to search and waited for the page to load.

Sure enough only one profile showed up.

A chill went up his spine as he stared into the pixelated blue eyes of Naruto Uzumaki. His face was familiar, but the picture shown was that of someone at least twelve years old. Sasuke started to remember bits and pieces

Naruto was quiet, he remembered, and sad all the time. He was just a sad person. He realized that most when he found that boy in his room ready to tear open his arms with broken plasticware. He heard voices too, right?

For some reason the time he spent in that hospital specifically was as fuzzy as a cotton ball. Faces were smudges in his mind, and any interaction he had with anyone there seemed like a dream. The only thing that was clear as day in the back of his mind was Naruto's face and the horrifyingly white walls that surrounded them both on a daily basis.

He was bored and tired. Picking around his own past was nothing to dwell on too much.

Sasuke clicked on the profile link and the page flashed to a new one.

There wasn't much of anything that could be considered interesting. Apparently he hadn't updated anything or even tried to make his profile personal. No status updates, no photos. Just a few automatic posts from a few games that were popular a few years back.

Naruto had a few friends, one of which was his mother.

Without a doubt Sasuke had thought he lost his mind when he clicked on this old friend's mother's profile, and he thought he was completely insane when he went searching for her phone number which was luckily made available to the public.

_Stupid_, he thought. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms as he stared at the screen. The idea he was hatching was unforgivably stupid. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. Absolutely insane._

It took him about five minutes to convince the more rational side - the side that said calling Naruto's mother out of the blue to track down her son for no good reason was idiotic - that it was a good idea.

They had made a promise to each other. It was a loose promise with no real foundation to it other than an odd infatuation, but it was a promise nonetheless and he was curious to see if Naruto had kept up his end of the deal, or even remembered who Sasuke was for that matter.

Would that be weird? Yes.

But they _made a promise_.

Even if it was something both of them had put into the category of unforgettable, it would still be a funny thing to look back on over the phone, or through e-mail, or text. They could talk about their time in the hospital, maybe Naruto could remind him of a few things that had disappeared from his memory. They could talk about how they were doing with their own therapy and medication, and life in general.

Sasuke didn't get a chance that often to talk to someone who understood what he was going through in times when it became tough to take another pill or find a new therapist when the last one started talking out of their ass. He certainly couldn't talk about his personal feelings with his patients, and he did his best to hide the details of his bipolar disorder from everyone, especially Suigetsu.

The more he thought about it, the more it grew on him. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to talk to Naruto again.

Sasuke laughed at himself while he picked his bag up again and grabbed his phone.

The whole thing was absolutely ridiculous.

But he proceeded.

Before he knew it the phone was ringing and his stomach had tied itself in a bundle of knots. His call was answered too fast for him to find any sense and the air that passed through his throat caught.

"Hello." A cheerful voice came from the other end.

"Uh, um" Sasuke scrambled to sit up straight and run his hand through his hair like he had someone to impress. "Hi, is this Kushina Uzumaki?"

"It is. May I ask who's calling?"

"Oh, uh, my name is Sasuke Uchiha. I..." He paused. He was not going to tell her that he had been in the hospital with Naruto. Who the hell would be okay with some nut from a looney bin tracking down their child? "I _went to school_ with your son, Naruto. I was actually looking to get in touch with him. You know, to catch up."

"Well, I'm sorry, Sasuke, but Naruto doesn't live here anymore. He moved to the city a while ago, but if you'd like to give me your number I can pass it along and I'm sure he'll get in touch with you as soon as he can."

"Yeah, that sounds great."

Sasuke gave his number to the mother of someone who should be considered a stranger. He sat there in the library a while longer wondering what sort of horrible, evil, mind altering drug Suigetsu had slipped into his cookies that would make him do something so stupid. He regretted his decision as soon as he hung up his phone and the knots in his stomach tightened into an unbearable ball of doubt. Nothing bad had happened, the earth was still spinning, the skies were still without raining flames, everything was fine, but something was off.

His phone chimed as the battery ran out and the screen went black.

He had a bad feeling about this.

**Author's Note:**

Hello again! Hope this little installment wasn't too boring, things will heat up in the next/final part. Also, I'm working on rewriting this entire story. I'm certainly not changing anything, just cleaning things up a bit and getting rid of that god awful first person nonsense. I'd like to have all the chapters rewritten by and reposted the same day as the final part of the epilogue, so it might be a while before the next chapter comes along. I'll be working hard to get them done before the end of the year. I'm aiming more for mid December, but striving for the end of November. Anyway, thank you for being patient and reading my fics even though the earlier writings are cringe worthy and the current work is absolute malarkey. -KJ


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